Fantasy of Fire (The Tainted Accords #3)(44)

I must make some sign because Olandon grips my hand beneath the table and squeezes.

“Y-yes King Jovan, I do.” I stand as he moves around the table. He doesn’t take the position to my left. He doesn’t sit down either. He stands just behind me, giving me the floor and quite literally watching my back.

I clear my throat wondering where to begin. The silence is so loud, and I know everyone wonders why I’m not talking. Fear beats in my chest.

Words so low I barely hear them sound behind me. “From the beginning, Lina.” Jovan saying my name is like a key. The block in my mind opens and I know exactly where to start.

“Likely you are all wondering why you’ve been called here today,” I say, relieved my voice is clear. “The truth is, though you don’t know it yet, you’re all important to me.”

“What’d the girly say?” I hear Ice whisper. The others hush him.

“For those of you who aren’t … accustomed to me, I am the Tatuma Olina. In Bruma terms, this means I’m the princess, the heir to the throne of Osolis.” I take a calming breath. “I’ve been veiled since birth by my mother. You may have heard of her dislike of me, even here—it is certainly no secret on my home world.” I sigh heavily. “In truth, I don’t like to talk of my childhood. Most of it was spent locked in a room, and when I was allowed out at ten years of age, it was only to discover a dark and twisted world.” There’s a sharp intake of air behind me. Oops, I don’t think Jovan knew that particular detail. I continue. “I suffered greatly at the hands of my mother. I was beaten bloody too many times to count. What was done is too horrific and personal to repeat.”

Someone gasps. Fiona.

“Luckily my brother, Olandon, helped me as much as he could. He, along with my young twin brothers and an old friend, made life bearable.” I rest a hand on my brother’s shoulder.

“My life continued this way, and I didn’t expect it to change until the peace delegation came from Glacium. Some of you were in that party,” I say, gesturing to where Roman, Adnan and the others sit. “But I came to know one in particular. Prince Kedrick. While the accords were renegotiated, we got to know each other well. He eventually came to ask why I was veiled.” I glance over to where the assembly are sitting. “Those of you who knew him can imagine how much control he had to exert not to ask me before that moment.” Sanjay chuckles at the back of the meeting room.

I pause for a few moments, trying to perfectly form what I want to say.

“Can you believe I had never seen my own face before coming to Glacium?” I ask.

It is so quiet I can hear Jovan’s breathing.

“I know you’d think it near impossible. But my mother went to great lengths to prevent it happening. Mirrors were destroyed, lakes were filled in, and still water was forbidden.” I look around the circle. Though I cannot see them, I know the action will make them feel like I can. “Osolis is not like Glacium. The population is much smaller and there is nowhere to hide from the Tatum. To break her rule is instant death—for you, and for your family. She made others fear me. People in the court loathed me because they thought they might garner favor with my mother. But not only did she make others fear me, she made me fear myself.”

I let out a bitter chuckle. “It seems strange, doesn’t it? To be afraid of yourself? I knew I could take the veil off. However, I also knew what she would do to those people who saw me. I knew, because once, while still young, I showed a village girl. The young girl’s throat was slit in front of me. Her blood was all over my hands. It still is.” The hollow confession causes me physical pain to say aloud.

Someone’s crying. A woman.

“Whenever I was tempted to show my brother, memories of blood spurting from the girl’s throat would quickly remind me it was not worth the risk.”

“Olandon hadn’t even seen you?” Adnan asks, dumbfounded.

“No, no one had seen my face since birth, I assume, excepting an aunty who possibly cared for me,” I reply.

I walk around the table as I talk. I need to move. The tension in the room is unbearable.

“Over time, I began to fear the veil. What if it slid off while I was working at the orphanage? What family would my mother kill? What if it flew off in training? Would she kill Aquin, my old instructor? My mother carved this fear into me by design. But I only found that out later.” My movements become jerky. I plant my feet in the middle of the ring and screw my eyes shut.

“Kedrick eventually figured it out. The Tatum didn’t want me to remove the veil. It wasn’t anything to do with my degree of ugliness. She was afraid of me taking it off. It seems obvious, doesn’t it? It was to your prince. What was the Tatum trying to hide? Eventually, when facing a beating that likely would have killed me, I threatened to remove the veil. It is one of my favorite memories: the moment I saw my mother terrified.”

Someone speaks up. “Prince Kedrick warned us a month before we left. He didn’t give any details—just told us to be alert for danger.”

I dip my head at the person speaking. Roman, maybe. “It was because he knew I’d given Mother an ultimatum. Touch me again or hurt those I love and I will show everyone my face.”

I tug on the veil. A nervous gesture I can’t remember doing for some time. “Prince Kedrick saw my face just before he was shot saving me. His death sparked a cascade of events for me.”