Fantasy of Fire (The Tainted Accords #3)(43)

Jovan leaves me at the door. “I need to do something before we enter. Wait for me here; I won’t be long.”

I stay silent instead of asking him questions and exposing my fear.

He grips my shoulders. “I won’t be long, I promise you,” he reassures.

I wave him off with more courage than I feel. “I’ll be okay.”

I sit, back stiff with tension. What if Olandon is right? Will I look back on this moment and wish I could take it back, like so many other moments in my life?

I stare with unseeing eyes at the meeting room door. A dull murmuring hits my senses. They’re in there—my friends! Will they still be my friends in half an hour?

I move on shaky limbs to the door. When the walls start pulsating around me, I have a second of surprise that it hasn’t happened earlier. I lean in until both hands are on the door. I know what I have to do to make it go away. I’m in control. It’s coming from me. I’m the one who can make it go away. And it will go away. I know, because I’ve done it before. Eventually the walls, rather than pulsing, will throb, then vibrate. In the end, they’ll just shimmer.

The walls stop moving.

I stare at the heavy wooden barrier in front of me. The murmuring is still there. My friends are on the other side making that sound, not my enemies.

They are not my enemies, I repeat.

Good or bad, I need to know what attitudes I’ll be facing if I want any degree of happiness in my future.

I look over my shoulder.

The king said to wait for him to enter the room. But he won’t always be around to lean on. I shouldn’t grow accustomed to it. I take a fortifying breath as I force my clenched fingers to take hold of the weighted clasp on the door. I set my mind on the impossible future I can’t help desiring.

There is nowhere left to go but forward.





Chapter Nine


The door creaks shut behind me. My abrupt arrival snaps the conversation to a halt. I imagine that fourteen curious people are currently staring my way. Six of them will have no idea who this veiled figure is. Of all of them, Rhone may be the only person here that might be able to guess what’s about to happen.

They sit in two groups. The barracks to the left, and the delegates and their wives to the right. They must be wondering what they could possibly have in common that they’d be summoned here together. I doubt they’ve spoken at all, even though the men from the barracks spent several weeks at the castle training with some of the delegates. It must be hard work ignoring a group of people no more than five meters from you. Both groups do it anyway. A bubble of hysterical laughter spouts up and I clamp my lips shut.

“Tatuma Olina.” Malir approaches with a bow. Though always polite, he’s stepping up the manners for the present barracks company. “Do you know why we’ve been summoned?”

I wonder if Shard will recognize my voice.

“The king will be along shortly and you’ll be told what is to happen,” I say. I don’t mean my voice to sound cold, but it does—overcompensating for my nerves, I think. I watch from the corner of my eye as Alzona and the others turn their heads to face one another. My heart beats wildly. Have they guessed?

I rest against the stone-circle table, but quickly see my legs aren’t going to hold me up. I take measured steps past the barracks members and catch Crystal’s wide-eyed glance. She believes she’s looking at the Tatuma of Osolis. Do the others know what a Tatuma is? Am I really that different with the veil on that they can’t tell it’s me?

I take my usual seat opposite the throne and wait.

It speaks volumes of the tension in the room that Sanjay remains quiet.

The king throws the door open with a crash and I almost slide onto the ground in a fainted heap. If I could ever love that grating slam it would be now. My brother trails behind him. Is that where Jovan disappeared to? Emotion swells within me. He knew I needed Olandon here with me.

Neither of the men greet my friends with a welcome.

Olandon moves to the table in front of me and bends down on one knee. Subservient. He is dressed in robes. He must be freezing, but it’s a good move; the robes show our link to Osolis. And his deference will help as well.

He glances up at me and I gesture to my right. He moves his head back in slight surprise. No doubt he thought he’d be banished to my left. The king approaches me, leaving his conversation with Rhone. He leans close to me over the table.

“You didn’t wait,” he says.

“I wanted to do it myself,” I whisper back.

He makes an exasperated noise in the back of his throat. “Of course you did.” He pushes against the table and turns to the room.

“Take a seat,” he booms. I roll my eyes at his rudeness.

“Who of the two groups are sitting next to each other?” I ask Olandon.

“There is a seat between them, but Rhone and a man even larger than him with scars all over his face,” he says. Avalanche.

There’s silence in the room. I start when I realize Jovan has turned my way.

“Tatuma, I believe you had something you wanted to say?” he prompts. Dread doesn’t just slap me in the face; it rolls through me with the force of a galloping herd. I hadn’t given any thought to this exact moment. Getting through the door had consumed me entirely. How was I going to tell them?

The walls begin to shimmer.