Dungeon Games (Masters and Mercenaries #6.5)(12)

“Karina, do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you need this as much as I do?” The question came out on the sexiest little groan.

“Please, Derek. Please. I need it.” Now that she was here, she knew she couldn’t get off his lap without it. All the floggings she’d had from Simon had done the job, but there hadn’t been a well of emotion flowing between them. There was friendship and competence, not this deep need she could feel coming from Derek. How long had it been since the Dom giving her discipline needed her as much as she needed him?

She felt it. That little baby draft of air and then the loud smack that followed, and she couldn’t help it. She reached for his ankles, grabbing on more because she needed the connection to him than the balance. She wanted it all of a sudden, wanted more than the friendly exchange of service for service. She wanted to need someone, and though it was a bad idea that man was Derek, she didn’t care in that moment.

He smacked her ass again, sending that sweet burn through her skin. “That’s right. Hold on to me. Let me know how it feels. Are you with me?”

“Yes, Sir.” She kept her voice low because he’d told her to keep it down. The hum of activity on the outside would likely mask the smacks, but if she called out, there would probably be ten of Dallas’s finest trying to break down the door.

Smack. Smack. The pain sparked along her skin, causing her to tense at first. It was just pain in the beginning, but she knew what came after. For the patient sub there was pleasure at the end, as though the body could reward her for hanging in there.

Derek wasn’t a softie. Tears dripped from her eyes as he laid into her backside. Over and over. She wanted to cry out, but she kept her mouth shut and let herself go.

This was what she missed. She didn’t have to think here. She didn’t have to worry about falling off the wagon or feel regret for all the things she’d done as a kid. She didn’t miss anyone when she was in this place. She simply was. She simply endured and felt and let herself be. Peace, a blessed peace, came with the pain. It didn’t for everyone. She knew that. But it worked for her, and she’d learned long ago to accept herself.

She lost count, didn’t care after a while. The tears were a release of all the horrible tension of the day, the last few weeks, really. Though she didn’t scream out her pain, just the act of crying felt like someone had opened a valve inside her soul and released all the noxious emotions that had built up there—that she wasn’t worthy, that everything that had happened was her fault, that she’d always be alone and deserved nothing less.

All the pain she held inside on a daily basis seemed to leech away as he spanked her.

Finally, after the sweetest forever, his hand stilled on her cheeks. His palm covered her, holding the heat to her skin. He was back to caressing her.

“You did well. God, you’re f*cking gorgeous like this, Karina. Your skin. It’s so beautiful.”

Spoken like a true Dom. The Doms she knew loved to see their marks on a sub, loved to see a pink ass and know it was there because of their discipline. Something about the way Derek spoke seemed to go straight to her soul. She’d never heard him talk to a sub intimately. He’d always seemed like one of those distant Doms who never let an ounce of emotion flow, but there was such heat in his voice that it melted all of her inhibitions. It was so different than their one hurried and ungainly scene. This time she connected with him. She let her body sag on his, her legs spread just the tiniest bit because her backside wasn’t the only thing that was hot and pink. Her * had responded to him by softening and getting ripe and ready for his touch.

She heard a shaky breath escape from his mouth and his finger ran down the seam of her ass.

Time seemed to still as he moved closer and closer to her *. So close. He would touch her and suddenly she was terrified that she would go off like a rocket the minute he did. The very second those callused fingers of his breached her long unused *, she would very likely scream and moan and come all over his hand. She wouldn’t say a word if he shoved her on the desk, pushed his slacks down, and took her. She would let him. It had been so long. So f*cking long.

He moved his fingers away. She bit back a cry because she’d wanted him to touch her so badly and now it was over and it hadn’t been enough. Not even close. He would set her on her feet and she would awkwardly pull her pants up and they would go on like he’d never spanked her, never held her down and made her cry. They would go right back to being wary acquaintances. She would be back in the world and she wasn’t ready for it yet.

He flipped her over like she didn’t weigh a thing, settling her on his lap. “Relax. I want to play for a minute. You can tell me no, but I don’t shift quickly. I like to spend a little time in aftercare before I have to go back to normal. You can stop me at any time with a simple no.”

His hand was at the exposed portion of her thigh, skimming up toward her pelvis. Even more disconcerting was the little nest his arm and chest made. He’d situated her so she was oh so close to his body, her head naturally resting against his shoulder, nestling into his neck until she could smell the soap on his body, the clean smell of his skin. She brushed her forehead against his cheek, feeling the roughness of his whiskers against her.

“I like you like this, Karina. Soft. Sweet. I even like the way your jeans hold your legs together. I’d bind you up and then I would have to work to get at your *, but don’t think I won’t. I could tie you up so tight and I would still find a way to get inside you.”