Driftwood Lane (Nantucket #4)(85)

Might as well get it over with. She raised her hand to knock.

Noelle’s voice carried through the door, and Meridith paused.

“But why?” Noelle whined. A sniffling sounded. “I don’t want to!”

Another pause. She must be on the phone—with Jake?

Meridith lowered her hand and leaned closer.

“I hate her!” The sound of a little foot stamping. “All right. Here he is.”

“Can we come over?” Max’s voice. “We don’t want to stay here anymore.”

The words were like a punch in the gut.

“That’s not fair,” Max said.

She wondered what Jake was saying, briefly considered finding the other extension. But it would infuriate the children if they discovered she’d eavesdropped. Anyway, she didn’t want to hear Jake’s end, didn’t want to be hurt anymore.

“No, she doesn’t,” Max said. “. . . Then why’s she making us move?”

Meridith folded her arms across her middle, pressing them against the ache.

“Let me talk to him,” Ben whispered loudly.

“But we want you to be our guardian—” Max’s voice broke. Now he was crying too. Max sniffled. “Love you too. Okay. Here’s Ben.”

“Uncle J?”

Meridith held her breath. Ben was the one softest toward her.

“Can we come live with you?”

Meridith’s heart cracked in two.

“But I miss you and I don’t want to move to St. Louis. Noelle said there’s no ocean there or nothing, and Mom and Dad are here. They wouldn’t want us to leave them all alone.” His voice cracked.

Meridith turned from the door and tiptoed to her room. It was true—you heard nothing good when you eavesdropped. She closed the door quietly behind her.

The children didn’t want her. She’d come here because they’d needed her, because she wanted them cared for until their uncle returned.

Well, he’d returned all right. And he was nothing like she’d thought. She was so confused. Maybe she should call Rita. But she was too drained to review it all. Anyway, God knew what she was dealing with, no explanations required.

She fell onto the bed and stared at the white ceiling. “What am I supposed to do?”

She wasn’t sure what she expected. A burning bush would’ve been nice. She’d settle for an audible voice or a vision or anything except the silence that rang through her room.

She thought back to the phone call she’d received in the middle of Delmonico’s kitchen, to the shock that her father was gone, that he’d left her custody of his kids. So much had changed, but one thing remained the same: she still wanted what was best for the children. She’d initially thought that was their uncle, then she’d become convinced it was her.

But maybe she was wrong. Maybe Jake was the better guardian for them. The kids thought so. Jake must think so too. He’d gone to great lengths to stay near them. He could keep them here on the island, if not in Summer Place, provide them with stability. That was her goal all along, wasn’t it?

She forced the words out. “Are they better off with Jake, God?”

But if that were true, why had she been her father’s first choice?

She was glad he’d left them to her. No matter what came of this mess, she was better for having come, for knowing her siblings. Her father had left her the precious gift of his children. Was she now supposed to relinquish them, after she’d grown so attached to them?

But maybe the children weren’t the gift after all. Maybe the changes they’d caused in her were the real gift. Her breath stopped on the threshold of her lungs.

That’s it, isn’t it? The children aren’t mine to keep. They were only mine for a season. They belong to their Uncle Jake, and he belongs to them.

The influx of air stretched her lungs, pressed against the hollow spot. Meridith set her fist on her stomach. A knot swelled in her throat, aching and burning. She didn’t realize how much she’d come to love the children until just now, when she thought of giving them up, of leaving them, and she wondered how she could bear to lose them when they’d only just become a family.





Forty-six

Jake trudged up the apartment stairs and fumbled in the darkness for his key. When he opened the door, the stale smell of warm air greeted him. He flipped on the air-conditioning and pulled off his work boots.

Wyatt was right, Comfort Heating and Plumbing was busy, and Jake was never more glad for it. He’d worked from sunup until bedtime right through the weekend. It helped keep his mind occupied, kept him from dwelling on where Meridith was, what she was doing, what she was thinking, if she’d listened to his messages. It was enough to drive a man insane.

The message light flashed on his phone, and despite all reason, his hopes bobbed upward like a sunken buoy. He pushed the button and waited for the machine’s recording to give way to the caller’s voice.

“Hi, this is Meridith.” The formal tone of her voice tempered his hope.

“After reflecting on the situation, I believe it’s in the children’s best interest to grant you guardianship. I’ve contacted the attorney who handled my father’s will, and a hearing at the probate court on Broad Street has been scheduled for this Wednesday at three o’clock to transfer the guardianship and sign the documents.”