Driftwood Lane (Nantucket #4)(84)

Meridith tossed her bag on the check-in desk and kicked off her heels. Nothing was going right. Her life had fallen apart, and she was helpless to fix it.

Summer Place was booking up nicely for the season, though. The Goldmans would have their hands full, but that was what they wanted. She glanced at the unfinished fireplace and reminded herself to let them know it was not usable and, judging from the outrageous quote she’d gotten, wouldn’t be anytime soon.

She checked the voice mail, knowing there would be more requests for bookings, and jotted down phone numbers and dates so she could return the calls. The last message stopped her.

“Meri, this is Jake, please don’t hang up. I know you don’t want to talk to me. That’s fine, just listen, ’kay?”

His voice, all deep and . . . Jake-like, stopped her. She pressed the phone closer to her ear.

“I know I only have a minute before this thing cuts me off. Remember when I came to Summer Place that first time? I’d heard about Eva and heard they’d granted custody of the kids to you. I came home to fight you for them, I admit that.”

Meridith pressed a fist to her stomach.

“I know I should have told you who I was right then, but when you thought I was there for the work, I started thinking how perfect this was, how I could get to see the kids and maybe—okay, I was trying to find reasons why you weren’t the best guardian, but I didn’t know you then. Was just trying to do what was best for the kids and—I was wrong. Meridith? I’m sorry you were caught in the crossfire. I’m sorry I hurt you . . .”

There was a long pause. Then a click. The recording followed. “If you’d like to save the message . . .”

Meridith returned the phone to the cradle, staring at the extension as if Jake would materialize from it. Part of her wished he would. Part of her wanted to pick up the phone and replay his message—the treacherous, self-sabotaging part that let her feelings and whims whip her around like a leaf in the wind.

He’d basically confirmed what she already suspected—that he’d come here to take the children from her. And if he’d gone to all that trouble to get them, wanted them that badly, could she trust anything he said? Anything he’d already said?

When the phone rang on Thursday afternoon, Meridith finished folding the fluffy guest towel, set it on the dryer, and went to check the caller ID. It was humbling how a ringing phone could put a tremor in her hands, a waver in her step. Even when Jake wasn’t here, he had power over her. Made her feel things. The sooner she got off this island the better.

She reached for the phone. Probably just a reservation request, maybe even Rita or—

The name on the screen stopped her speculation. The phone pealed again, and she set it down, jerking her hand away. It rang two more times. She pictured Jake on the other end, sitting on his bed or pacing his living room. Yes, he’d be pacing. He’d shove one hand in his pocket and his long legs would eat up the distance between the walls while the phone rang in his ear.

The ringing stopped, and the silence was deafening. She stared at the phone. Was he leaving a message? How long should she wait before she checked? Meridith turned and paced the area behind the desk, her flats clicking on the wood floor.

Ridiculous how her breath caught, how her heart fought the confines of her rib cage. He probably wouldn’t even leave a message. She drummed her fingers against her legs. How long had it been? Twenty seconds?

And why was she so eager to hear from him? What was wrong with her? Did she enjoy being made a fool of?

She stared at the silent phone. She just needed closure. Hearing his explanations, even if she couldn’t guarantee their reliability, would help her put Jake behind her—and from a safe distance. She’d never survive a personal encounter. Didn’t trust herself to resist the warmth of his eyes, the crooked grin, the woodsy smell of him.

This was safe. Safe closure. Just what the doctor ordered.

It had been at least a minute, right? She turned on the phone and found a message waiting. She punched in her code and waited.

“Me again, please don’t hang up, Meri. Meridith.” He sighed into the phone. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you who I was. I was afraid of losing the kids . . . now I’m afraid I’ve lost you.”

There was a pause, and Meridith pressed the phone to her ear, afraid she’d hear the click of him hanging up.

“I miss you, Meri. I love y—”

Meridith jabbed the Delete button, and Jake’s voice was gone. She knew her limits.

It was quiet after dinner. The kids had disappeared upstairs once again, and Meridith didn’t bother calling Max down to do dishes. After starting the dishwasher, she dried her hands and started up the back stairs.

She couldn’t put off the conversation any longer, couldn’t stand the silent treatment another day. She couldn’t say much more than she’d already said, but maybe now that they’d had time to settle down, they’d see reason. Maybe they’d actually see their own part in this fiasco.

The stairwell was dark, but she felt her way up, using the handrail Jake had installed. Her mind flashed back—was it only four days ago?—to the kiss they’d shared in this darkened space. She’d been so happy. How could she have forgotten how quickly things can change?

She reached the top of the steps. Noelle’s door was closed, but a thread of light seeped from underneath. The boys’ door was open, and the light was off.