Driftwood Lane (Nantucket #4)(78)

“Yeah.”

“Things were pretty crazy around my house. I never knew what to expect. Her moods swung erratically from severe depression to mania. I never knew which mom I’d get when I walked in the door after school, or even if she’d be there. Bills didn’t get paid, collectors called. She was either not there mentally or so there it was frightening.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I learned to cope. However, some of the coping skills turned out to be the unhealthy variety.” She smiled at him, then looked away quickly before she lost her nerve. “I learned to live by structure so I know what to expect. I control everything around me to maintain some level of stability. I put up walls to keep people from hurting me. Walls I’ve never taken down, not for anyone.”

“If you’re trying to scare me away, it’s not working.” His words started an ache behind her eyes. Was that what she was trying to do? Even now? Scare him away? Self-sabotage?

He curled a finger under her chin and turned her toward him.

His eyes said so much. That all those things, all her faults didn’t matter. That he loved her enough to walk beside her as she worked through them. That he saw beyond her flaws to the woman she was deep inside. That he wasn’t going to let go so easily.

“I don’t know how this is going to turn out,” she whispered.

“Life is uncertain.”

“I might make things difficult. There’s a part of me that, no matter how much I want your love, I want to run from it at the same time.”

“Say that again.”

She swallowed around the knot in her throat. “I want to run from it.”

“Other part.”

She rewound her words. “How much I want your love?”

His lips relaxed, curled slightly upward. “That’s the part.”

The ache behind her eyes turned into a sharp sting, and he blurred in front of her. “I do want your love, but I’m afraid—”

“Stop saying that.”

A tear rolled down Meridith’s face, and she brushed it away.

“If you guard your emotions, you’ll miss out on the best things of life—joy, excitement . . . love. Fear is just an opportunity to be courageous.”

“But what if I’m not courageous?” She bit her quivering lip.

“God will give you courage.”

Would He?

Jake’s gaze dropped to her lips, an invitation if she ever saw one. Her previous thoughts faded in the wake of his offer. She leaned forward, and he lowered his head, brushing his lips across hers. He tasted of sea and sunshine.

Jake cupped her jaw and deepened the kiss. She leaned into him, wove her fingers into his hair, loving the feel of it between her fingers, surrendering herself to his kiss.

Jake kept reliving the moment, unable to sleep with the delicious taste of love and triumph in his mouth. He wanted to fold Meridith into his arms and never let go.

God will give you courage. His words to Meridith ricocheted back, piercing him. He was the one who needed courage. He had to tell her who he was. Would it change her feelings? Would her trust dissolve when she found out? He prayed it wouldn’t. He’d felt so guilty when she’d told him about the bipolar, and she’d looked so vulnerable on the beach. He’d wanted to gather her into his arms and keep her safe, not break her heart.

But he didn’t want to think about that now. He only wanted to remember how Meridith had felt in his arms. Jake pushed the other thought deep into the shadows of his mind. He’d tell her tomorrow. Surely he could have this one night to savor their newfound love.





Forty-two

Finally, Meridith said good-bye to the Middleton family, and they exited the house, pulling their luggage toward the waiting cab. Her other guests had checked out that morning, and as the afternoon wore on, she’d begun to wonder if the Middletons had decided to stay another night.

She wanted to give the sale documents one final read before she took a copy to the attorney, but decided to put soup on for dinner first. After stowing the Middletons’ check in the drawer, she went to the kitchen. Out back Max and Ben were trying to teach Piper to roll over and didn’t seem to be having any success.

Meridith pulled the vegetable soup from the fridge, set it on a burner, and turned up the heat. After collecting the legal document, she took it to the checkin desk and read it over. Everything looked to be in order.

“Something’s boiling over!” Noelle called from the kitchen.

Rats, the soup. “Will you turn it down?” Meridith called while hurrying to the kitchen to prevent a mess.

Noelle had pulled the pot from the burner.

“Thanks.” The spill averted, Meridith took the salad from the fridge.

“Noelle, can you set the table, please?”

“Sure.”

So nice to have a spirit of cooperation around the house.

“Glass or paper?” Noelle stood in front of the open cupboard.

Meridith surveyed the sink she’d emptied and cleaned less than an hour before. The buffet breakfast had dirtied most of their glassware, and the dishwasher cycle wasn’t finished. “Let’s go paper.”

“Yay, it’s my turn for dishes.”

Meridith set the soup back on the burner, and as she stirred, she heard the front door open. She smiled. Jake was home. Since last night on the beach, she couldn’t seem to get enough of him, and judging by his glimpses over breakfast, the feeling was mutual.