Defiance (The Protectors #9)(64)

I knew without needing to ask that the picture was of David. Vincent handed it to me and I studied the smiling face looking back at me. He was a beautiful young man with bright green eyes, light blond hair and a wide grin that lit up his entire face. I couldn’t even fathom the demons that had consumed him.

“That smile,” I said softly.

“Yeah,” Vincent agreed and then he was taking the picture back. He held it reverently for a moment before standing it up on the nightstand. He straightened and then nodded at me. As I began reading, Vincent’s fingers curled around my free hand which I had resting in my lap. When it came time to turn the page, he did it for me.

My heart skipped a beat as I realized how easily I could get used to this.

Except that I’d promised him I wouldn’t.

How the hell was I ever going to be able to keep that promise?





Chapter 22





Vincent





I’d just turned on the stove when my watch vibrated. I’d assumed it was Nathan getting up, but a glance at the display showed my guest wasn’t the man I’d spent the entire night making love to. I kept pulling ingredients out of the refrigerator, but turned the stove back off. By the time I’d searched out a second mug and filled it with coffee, Everett was entering the kitchen. He didn’t say anything as he pulled out one of the island bar stools and sat down. Once I’d finished preparing the coffee the way he liked it, I slid it across the island to him.

“Thanks,” he murmured.

He looked tired and, for once, he seemed to carry the weight of all his fifty-eight years.

“I’m sorry, Vincent. I shouldn’t have participated yesterday. Nathan didn’t know any better, but I did.”

I knew what he was talking about, of course. If anyone would have known what I was going through as I’d raced to get back to the house, it would have been Everett. He’d seen the police report. He’d known the torture Pierce had been forced to endure.

“Why did you?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I wanted him to rattle your cage.”

“Nathan?” I clarified.

A quick nod, then, “He’s good for you, Vincent. You’ve been…different these past few days. Except for yesterday. Leaving without telling him. Refusing to answer our calls, even knowing he’d be worried about you.”

“I didn’t consider that,” I interjected. Everett’s eyes lifted to meet mine. “I knew he’d be pissed, but I thought that would be the extent of it.”

“He was terrified,” Everett murmured. “He hid it well, but it wasn’t until my phone rang that first time that he relaxed.”

I nodded. Nathan had admitted as much yesterday when he’d told me he’d imagined my body lying in a motel somewhere. “We’re good, Ev,” I said as I took a sip of my own coffee.

Everett relaxed somewhat, but the smile I was so used to seeing didn’t return. I’d known the man for more than ten years, and he nearly always had a smile on his face.

But it had been that fake smile he’d worn for the cameras for so many years. On the rarest of occasions, he’d let me in enough to let me see the man who’d fallen in love with my brother. And it was usually when he was talking about Pierce that I got to see that piece of him. Like when something came on television that he thought Pierce would have liked, or when the military had finally repealed Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell years earlier. For those few moments, he’d let himself think of my brother and his reaction to something, and he’d be the Everett I should have met one day when my brother had been ready to introduce me to him.

“Nathan told me what you two talked about yesterday.”

Everett’s fingers played with the handle on the mug. “He shouldn’t make the same mistake I did,” the older man murmured. “I wanted him to know what waiting even a day too long could cost him.”

I knew what he was talking about. On the few occasions Everett would have a little too much to drink, he’d get nostalgic and start talking about how he would have done things differently. Not a day went by that I knew he wasn’t regretting not coming out while he was still in office. It would have caused a stir, but he would have been able to acknowledge his relationship with Pierce. And whatever firestorm he would have had to face, he’d have had my brother at his side when he’d done it. The fact that Pierce had left the military was a sign that he’d been all-in and ready to expose himself to the world as the man the leader of the free world was in love with.

As for Nathan, I had no idea what his plans were for when his life got back to normal. He’d embraced his sexuality here in the safety of my home, but out there in the real world? I shook my head as I thought about what he’d have to face.

And how he’d have to do it alone.

“Nathan will do what’s best for him,” I said.

“You’re what’s best for him.”

Pain radiated through my chest at Everett’s declaration. They were words I hadn’t allowed myself to admit.

For the same reason I’d made Nathan promise he’d walk away when this was all over.

Because I was terrified that I wasn’t strong enough to let him go.

“I’m not having this discussion with you,” I said as I began preparing breakfast.