Dare You To (Pushing the Limits, #2)(122)

I know the anger and bitterness he’s talking about. They’re      the chains that weigh me down and threaten to drown me daily—at least until I      found Ryan. But those chains returned with one phone call from Shirley and      they’re slipping tighter around my throat. “Yay for you. You broke free and I      got screwed.”

Scott leans forward. “I know it seems that way, but I broke      free for you too. I f*cked up. I should have come back when I signed with the      Yankees and dragged you to New York with me. I didn’t and I’m sorry, but I’m      here now and this...” He holds his hands out and motions at the house. “This is      your break, kid. This is your baseball. All you have to do is trust me and take      it. Whatever you want, it’s yours, but you have to let the past go.”

Scott is talking about hope and hope is a myth. He acts like      it would be easy to leave Mom. As if I could effortlessly hand over the demons      in my nightmares and somehow with the swish of a magic wand, everything would be      okay. “What about Mom?”

He doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he stares at a thin      scar on his right hand where he told me Grandpa had cut him with a knife when he      was a kid. “She’s not my responsibility and she’s not yours either.”

“No. That’s where you’re wrong. Mom is my responsibility.      It’s my fault that she’s miserable.”

“You’re wrong.”

“Whatever. I’ve been thinking, maybe you could give her some      money. We could put her in one of those rehab places and when she’s clean we      could move her someplace nicer. Mom used to work and we could get her another      job. She’s been down for so long and I know she keeps Trent because he has      money. If you help her, I’m sure she can get better.”

“I can’t.”

My head snaps back as if he slapped me. “What do you mean      you can’t?” I did it. I came to him for help. I’m trusting him and he’s throwing      it back in my face?

“I made myself and Allison a lot of promises when we moved      to Groveton and more importantly when I brought you back into my life. Your      mother is a line I can’t cross.”

No, no, no, no. NO! This isn’t how our talk was supposed to      play out. “But you have to.” The room becomes suddenly restrictive and I stand.      I need to get out. Everywhere I turn there’s a window or an entrance to another      room. There’s not a damn door to the outside in this huge f*cking room.

“Elisabeth,” says Scott real slowly, “why don’t you sit back      down?”

“You have to help her!” Because I can’t, and the realization      cracks my sanity. “Send her to a rehab. Get her clean. She’ll be better then.      You don’t understand. She never had a shot. We never had anything. No one ever      helped us.”

“I sent her money,” Scott says softly.

There’s a roaring in my head and I freeze midstep. I’m in      the kitchen and I have no idea how I made it here. “What did you say?”

Scott walks over to the island. “I sent your mother money      every month. I opened a bank account for her and every month she drained it. I      wasn’t man enough to call you, but I was man enough to pay for my mistakes.      Allison found the account a couple of months ago and thought I was having an      affair. I brought her here, to Groveton, to prove to her that I wasn’t lying      about you or your mother and when I got here I didn’t like what I found. So we      stayed, but I promised Allison I would cut off your mother. She obviously wasn’t      using the money to help either one of you.”

“You’re lying.” I slam my hand against the counter. “You’re      f*cking lying!” He has to be.

“I can show you the statements if you’d like.”

I can’t breathe. I can’t... I can’t breathe. I can’t.

“Elisabeth,” says Scott, “sit down.”

I try to suck in air, but my lungs won’t expand. Grabbing on      to the side of the counter, I bend over in my search for oxygen. Scott’s wrong.      He has to be wrong. Mom would never have done this to me. Never. Why can’t I      f*cking breathe?

“Elisabeth!” Scott shoves a stool out of the way and catches      me as I fall to the floor. He sits beside me as I lower my head into my      hands.