Dare You To (Pushing the Limits, #2)(121)
His question stops me about a car’s distance from him. Hurt pours out of his eyes, and every muscle in my abdomen clenches. My close proximity actually causes him pain and that fact slaps me in the face.
“Yes,” I answer, then think about it. “No. She’s addicted to heroin.”
Isaiah glances away and a lead ball drops into my stomach. “You knew.”
He meets my eyes again. “She’s bad news, Beth. You’re not going to change her.”
She will change. Scott will help me. I know it. “How are you?”
“I’m surviving.” Isaiah surveys the night sky, then pushes away from his car. “Have a nice life.”
“Isaiah...” I say, unsure of how to make us better. “This isn’t goodbye.”
“Yeah,” he answers as he unlocks his driver’s-side door. “It is.”
“If you believed that you wouldn’t be here now.” I’m energized by a second wind as my words sink in. “We’re friends. For life.”
He rubs a hand over his face before sliding into his car, shutting the door, and turning over his engine with an angry growl. The brief burst of energy drains from me, starting in my head and seeping out through my toes. It hurts to know that I’ve caused Isaiah pain, but someday he’ll really fall in love and discover that all we’ve ever been is friends.
*
I open my eyes and curse. This is twice I’ve gone pathetic, fallen asleep, and Scott has had to carry me in. Just like the first night in this house, the blanket is tucked around me and my shoes are neatly placed near the bed. It’s dark and I don’t bother looking at the clock. I toss aside the blanket, climb out of bed, and head into the foyer.
In the kitchen, Scott sits at the island and stares at the countertop. I flop onto the cushy leather couch. I’ve lived in this house for three months and I’ve never sat here. “Nice couch.”
“It’s about time you tried it out,” Scott says. He wears a Yankees T-shirt and a pair of jeans. Scott acts so grown-up at times I forget that he’s not even thirty yet. He slips off the stool and joins me in the living room. “Want to fill me in on Trent?”
“No.”
“Let me rephrase. Fill me in on Trent.”
Scott did hit the bastard. I wipe the sleep from my eyes and try to find the simplest and fastest explanation. “The f*cking * is the spawn of Satan and someone needs to stake the bastard in the heart, shred him to pieces, then set the pieces on fire.”
“Or take a swing at his head with a baseball bat?”
“Or that.” I smile weakly and Scott gives the same weak smile back. I told Ryan I’d stay. I finger the smooth material of the ribbon tied around my wrist. “Why did you leave us? You didn’t just leave me. You left Mom too.”
“Are you ready to discuss this calmly or are you looking for a screaming match?”
“Talk.” I think.
“When I left Groveton, I meant what I said. I fully intended to come back for you. I know I was young, but I loved you as if you were my own.”
I loved him like he was my father. I draw my knees up and wrap my arms around them. “Then why didn’t you come back?”
“Because...” He starts and stops several times as the words catch in his mouth. “Because I wouldn’t have made it out if I did. I couldn’t take you on the road with me and if I chose you then I would have had to quit baseball.
“If I stayed in Groveton, I have no doubt I would have become my father. Your dad swore to me he’d never be Dad, and the day he graduated from high school he turned into the same bastard our father was. I didn’t want trailer parks and I didn’t want girls hooked on drugs and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life hurting the people I said I loved. If I stayed, I would have become my father and one day I would have hurt you.”
I shake my head. Scott would never have hurt me. He wasn’t capable of it.
“I was so damned scared that when I began to run, I couldn’t stop. I was scared to face you again. Scared if I saw you, I’d stay and turn into my father.”
Scott swears and holds his hands together as if in prayer. I bite my lip when his voice cracks. “When you first moved here—every time I looked at you I saw the old man. I saw his anger coming out of your eyes. I saw your father’s bitterness wrapped up inside of you. As much as I’ve hated myself for leaving you behind, I don’t regret it. If I’d stayed I would have never broken free and all of that anger and bitterness I see in you would have been inside of me.”
Katie McGarry's Books
- Long Way Home (Thunder Road, #3)
- Long Way Home (Thunder Road #3)
- Breaking the Rules (Pushing the Limits, #1.5)
- Chasing Impossible (Pushing the Limits, #5)
- Take Me On (Pushing the Limits #4)
- Crash into You (Pushing the Limits, #3)
- Pushing the Limits (Pushing the Limits, #1)
- Walk the Edge (Thunder Road, #2)
- Walk The Edge (Thunder Road #2)
- Nowhere But Here (Thunder Road #1)