Conviction(51)

Lawson shakes his head as he pats me on the shoulder. “Conner Reed, what a f*cking *.”





Nina



I can’t believe he’s here.

I can’t believe, after all these years I reacted like that.

I wanted to slap him.

I wanted to claw at his face.

I wanted him to pull me into his arms and never let me go.

I wanted him to love me again, just like he used to.

I think I might be a little bit drunk.

I look up from where I’m sitting on a chair, in an office at the club. Conner’s brother’s wife Jenna is leaning against a desk next to Sophie looking at me, wearing a frown.

She passes me the bottle of water she’s holding. I take a deep breath and then take a sip from the bottle.

Sophie’s texting on her phone but looks up at me. “I’m so sorry, Neen. I swear to God, I had no idea he was gonna be here.”

My bottom lip trembles. I just can’t believe it all still hurts so much.

Jenna steps forward and passes me a tissue.

“Thank you,” I say very quietly.

I lost my virginity to Conner at her house. I wonder if she knows that. I give her a small smile.

“Good to see you, Jenna.” She gives me what’s hopefully, a genuine smile back.

“And you Nina, it’s been a while.”

“Fifteen years. Ethan was just a baby,” I tell her.

“Wow, a lifetime ago. He’s sixteen now.”

I nod as I try to wrap my head around that fact.

“How you feeling baby chick? You lost it there for a bit,” Sophie asks.

“I’m feeling better. Sorry about that. I was just so shocked to see him after all this time. I don’t know what happened.”

“I can’t believe my brother never told me he was gonna be here. You just wait till I see him.”

“It’s not your brother’s fault, Soph. It’s just one of those things. I’m surprised it’s not happened sooner. Not that Conner and I have mixed in the same circles the last fifteen years,” I say with a shrug.

“What d’ya wanna do?” Sophie asks. “Stay and watch the show or leave?”

“Drink myself into oblivion?” I ask her with another shrug of my shoulders.

Can I be out there? Where he is?

In the same building? The same room?

Breathing the same air?

“I’m gonna go and find Ty. I don’t wanna miss Reed’s performance.”

My heart stutters.

“Conner’s performing? Here?” I ask. My eyes land on Sophie. I really should capture this moment. Her mouth is wide open, but no words are coming out. This is something that rarely happens unless, of course, there’s a sex act involved. In which case, I make a point of not being around to witness such deeds.

“Yeah, it’s all been kept hush hush. He’s been really nervous.” She gives me a big smile. “You should stay and watch, I know you’ll love the performance.”

My eyes move to Sophie. “Your call, babe. I’m happy to do whatever you wanna do,” she tells me.

I stand from the chair and my head spins a bit. I’ve sobered considerably and I don’t like it. I want to get so drunk that I can’t remember my name. I don’t want to be able to feel by the end of the night. I want to be numb to the ache in my chest, and numb to every single memory I have of Conner Reed.

Jenna unexpectedly wraps her arms around me. “Stay Nina. Tyler would love to see you. I’ve no idea what went on between you and Reed, but it’s been too long since we’ve seen anything of you.”

“Okay, we’ll stay. I’ll come and find you both,” I tell her





After I use some of the makeup that Sophie never leaves home without, and fix myself up in the bathroom adjoining the office, we head back outside to where the concert is in full swing. Sophie grabs us a couple of drinks from a passing waiter and captures my hand as we make our way out to the balcony that overlooks the stage.

We watch a couple of bands, and then listen as a well-known TV presenter appears on stage, giving a running total of what the day has raised so far and tells us that we’re in for a surprise with the next act that’s about to perform.

My stomach churns and I knock back the third glass of champagne I’ve had since leaving the office we were in.

The whole place falls silent. The lights go out, leaving only the emergency exit signs glowing. The curtain is still covering the stage when the very first notes of a song I know so well starts to play. The whole place erupts as the curtain lifts to the band hidden behind it playing, ‘With You,’ an old hit of one of my all-time favourite bands, Carnage.

Sophie and I scream like we used to as school girls when we heard this song. We lose ourselves in the music for a few seconds. I dance with my eyes closed and my arms in the air. I know every single word and sing at the top of my voice, letting thoughts of the f*cked up mess I’ve made of my life disappear.

And then the crowd roars even louder and I swear, I actually feel the building shake.

I open my eyes to see what everyone is reacting to and for the second time in a matter of hours, my heart comes to an abrupt halt.

He’s there.

On stage.

The boy I loved so very long ago, who is now a man. A God. A rock God.