Conviction(49)

The first few bands have already played. There’s a comedian on stage now and a lot of people are watching the big screens, listening to his performance.

As we approach Lawson, I’m disappointed to see that Amanda is still here.

“What the f*ck, Laws? Why didn’t you send her home?” I ask him when we get to the small round table he’s standing next to.

“Chelsea will be here in a little while, she’ll do her f*cking nut when she sees her,” Gunner says.

Lawson looks down into the glass of bourbon that he’s holding and swirls the amber liquid around and over the crushed ice, sitting at the bottom. “I can’t f*cking get rid of her,” he states, turning his back on Amanda and toward us whilst he speaks.

“She’s done a coupla lines and she started really playing up and getting loud when I asked her to go.”

Gunner’s phone rings, playing ‘Where I Are.’ My heart rate accelerates, the way it always does for that split second as I allow thoughts of her to rush into my brain. He answers the call.

“Fuck, Chels is here,” Gunner says to me. I’ve completed missed him actually having a conversation whilst trying to not think about Meebs.

“I’ve warned her Amanda’s here. She reckons she’ll swing for her if she lays one of her bony hands on me or you today. I told her that she’ll have to join the queue. I thought Lennon’s wife was gonna put her on her arse earlier.”

I shake my head and say as quietly as I can, “I tell you what, if she puts her hands on Marley and his missus catches her, she’ll cut her f*cking throat. She’s a lovely girl Ashley, but I wouldn’t wanna f*ck with her.”

“Oh, but I thought you didn’t want to f*ck with anyone, Conner? Didn’t think you were actually up to it,” Amanda says from beside me.

How the f*ck she got there without me realising, I have no idea?

“Amanda, darling. I’m up to f*cking anything with a pulse. I just happen to be very particular whose cunt I put my cock inside.”

She stands with one hand on her hip, her other tilts her glass back as she finishes her drink. Her eyes never leaving mine. I look over her face and think that it’s sad really, how desperate she is for attention. She’s an extremely beautiful woman.

I actually feel sorry for her for a few moments, until I hear Chelsea say, “Hey babe,” from beside me.

“Talking of cunts,” Amanda says, clearly loud enough for everyone to hear.

“That’s enough,” I tell her. “Get her the f*ck out of here, Laws. I don’t want her around me or any of my dealings again. You either get rid of her or I’ll find myself a new manager.”

Lawson grabs her arm. “I warned you, didn’t I? I f*cking warned you.” Lawson moves, steering Amanda with him.

“See ya,” Chelsea waves and smiles cheerily as they pass her by. She turns to me with a grin. “Reed, please try and be a little bit more choosy whose mouth you stick your dick in, in future, because she’s a f*cking nut job and liable to bite it off one of these days.”

“Sorry Chels. I’ll run my next conquest past you first before I blow down their throats, shall I?’

“No, but I’ll happily try them out for you if you like,” Gunner adds. Chelsea backhands him, right in the solar plexus and he caves in like an old man.

We all laugh, and I turn around and look away as my friends start to suck face.

My eye catches a short blonde girl standing at the bar. She’s wearing light blue skinny jeans and f*ck me, is she wearing them. I tilt my head to the side, looking at her perfectly round arse. My cock twitches and I close my eyes for a few seconds. That simple male reaction of looking at a woman, momentarily floors me. I’ve spent so many years hiding behind filthy, dirty, gratuitous, controlling sex that I rarely allow myself an unexpected hard-on. It’s a little reminder to myself that somewhere in that twisted heart of mine lurks a human being. A man capable of feeling emotions – loving, needing, wanting.

I rake my hand through my hair and let out a long breath. I need a shag! Not a blowjob, not a threesome, I think I actually need to connect with someone, skin on skin, eye to eye.

I watch as the girl with the perfect arse lifts her long blonde hair up off the back of her neck and lets the air get to it. She has a tattoo hidden there and for some reason I have an almost uncontrollable urge to go take a look at what it says.

My eyes are drawn to the tall blonde standing next to her at the bar. Perfect arse is wearing a pair of green, killer heels and it strikes me that they are almost the exact same colour as my favourite custom made guitar. They have a heel about four inches high on them, but she’s still about five inches shorter than the girl standing next to her. The thought of a straight forward f*ck no longer feels like such a good idea, not as good as a threesome with these two, anyway. Especially if perfect arse keeps those heels on.

The tall blonde flicks her hair over her shoulder and turns and faces the room just as a waiter offers me something to eat from a tray loaded with little bits of toast with brown or pink stuff on them. I shake my head and politely decline his offer. My eyes travelling instantly back to the girls at the bar. The tall blonde is looking right at me, wearing an almost horrified expression.

Everything starts to slow down – sounds, my heart, my existence. She says a couple of words to her friend who turns and follows her gaze, until her eyes land on me. My heart crashes into my sternum, shatters into a gazillion tiny pieces, and falls and falls and falls… eventually landing somewhere deep down in the pit of my stomach.