Conviction(46)

I felt like a complete f*cking sap. Watching the two of them, the way they interacted and bounced off of each other. The way one told a story and the other remembered the names of the other people there or added their memory of the story. It made my heart feel warm, my belly feel all fluttery and my throat feel tight. I was turning into a little bitch. A thirteen-year-old girl had bigger balls than I had at that moment.

Ashley lit the joint and passed it back to me. I took a draw and passed it on.

“Talk to Lawson tomorrow,” Marley said, “Find out what the go is and if you’re interested, sit down and have a chat with me and Len.”

I nodded. “I’m definitely interested. If it’s doable, I’m in.”

“Good,” he replied.

“Well, that’s his career sorted. I’m gonna have a scroll through my phone tomorrow and see if I can find him a good woman.”

I smiled and scratched at the stubble on my chin, whilst my chest felt like it was being squeezed.

“Thanks all the same Ash, but I’m happy being single for now.”

Why the f*ck did saying that cause such a lump in my throat?





We had a rehearsal at the venue on Friday morning and sound checked Saturday morning before the TV crews arrived.

Up until this point, we’ve managed to keep our appearance together a secret from the press. I’m nervous but feeling much better about getting up on stage. It’s been good catching up with Gunner, and Marley has been a massive support. I would even go as far as saying that I’m feeling the buzz like I used to right now.

And then Lawson arrives, with Amanda in tow. I’ve not seen her since Lawson turned up at my house with her a few weeks back, I’d left her with a mouthful of my spunk and then headed off to my bedroom. She’s messaged me nearly every day since then and I’ve ignored her each time.

I’m not an arsehole, I’m never rude or disrespectful to the women I f*ck, but I always make it clear that all they will get from me is sex. I have no more to give.





There are dressing rooms and a bar upstairs at the venue and I’ve spent the rest of the morning hiding out up there away from the press, with Gunner. As one of the organisers, Marley has been running around like his arse is on fire, making sure everything is in order. It’s his manager and brother, Lennon that I’m talking to at the bar when Lawson and Amanda arrive.

“Reed, how you feeling? You ready for this? It’s filling up downstairs.”

Lawson leans in, shakes my hand and gives me a pat on the back. I shrug my shoulders.

“Bit nervous,” I tell him honestly.

Amanda smiles and moves in to try and kiss my cheek.

Why? Why would she do that?

I dodge the kiss, nod my head and smile, “Amanda.” She glares but still runs her hand up and down my arm. I watch Lennon, watching our exchange. His eyes meet mine, he gives a smile, rolls his eyes and shakes his head slightly. He and Marley must be approaching fifty by now and have been in this business a long time. I’m sure they’ve dealt with a lot of Amanda’s in their time.

“Not sure if you have met before. Lawson, this is Lennon Layton. He runs Carnage Creations with Marley.”

I notice Amanda’s head swing around at the mention of Lennon’s name. Lawson and Lennon start chatting and I stand back and watch as Amanda ingratiates herself into the conversation by telling Lennon how she’s followed his career for years.

Yeah, right!

“That f*cking woman makes my skin crawl,” Gunner whispers in my ear, whilst passing me another beer. “She always looks at blokes like she wants to eat them. Chels reckons she’s got a thing for you. Didn’t you f*ck her once, at the studio?”

I turn sideways to face him, and so that our conversation can’t be heard.

“Yeah, and I made the mistake of going back for a blowjob a coupla times since. She’s texted me nonstop for the last few weeks.”

“Silly boy, Reed, silly boy.” He shoulder bumps me.

Lawson says my name from over my shoulder and we spend the next ten minutes discussing the legalities of me leaving our current label and signing with CC, the Layton’s label. I can’t help but notice the way Amanda moves herself until she’s virtually pressed into Lennon’s side. She throws her head back and laughs exaggeratedly at something that he says, then turns and says something into his ear.

Lawson watches her, his eyes then meet mine. I shake my head, letting him know that I’m not happy that she’s here.

A hand suddenly appears from nowhere and grabs Amanda’s hair. We all step back, as a stunning looking woman with dark skin and long dark hair shoves Amanda out of the way.

“Have some respect for yourself love. That’s my husband and he is in no way interested in you.”

“Fuck, bitch fight,” Gun says from beside me and we clink our bottles together.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t… I mean, I don’t know…” Amanda tries to speak.

“Fuck off,” the other woman says, “Now,” she orders when Amanda fails to move.

“We’ll see you down in the VIP bar in a while,” Lawson says to me and Gun, then turning to Lennon, he holds out his hand and they shake.

“Good talking to you, Lennon. I’ll be in touch once I get our contracts lawyer to go through the paperwork we signed with the label.”