Changing Course (Wrecked and Ruined #1)(56)

After last night he must be partially immune because even watching my boobs bounce, he still asks questions.

"Is Kara a vegetarian or something?" He offers me the out I was mentally searching for.

"Yes!" I jump at his explanation. "She is strictly a vegetarian. Although, I have it on good authority that she doesn't like baby carrots." I start to ramble. The more details I give, the more he will believe me, right? So I begin a five minute soliloquy about all the vegetables Kara likes. By the time I'm finished, the water is beginning to run cold and Brett hasn't moved his eyes from my naked body once.

"So, there you have it, she doesn't eat anything but vegetables, and I give her a report every week about what's in season."

"What's in season this week?" Eek! How did I not anticipate this question?

"Umm..."

"What's wrong, Jess?" He smiles knowingly.

He then reaches down and pops open the button on his jeans, muddling my already frazzled mind even further. As he begins to push his jeans to the floor, I can see a thin trial of hair running down his body. I swallow deeply very aware where this is going.

"Gorgeous, I have no idea what you are trying to hide here, but it's pretty cute listening to you talk about seasonal vegetables while trying to distract me with these beautiful tits." He reaches one hand forward, cupping my entire breast and stepping into the shower. "I know we haven't been together long, but I have a feeling we are going to be together quite a bit from now on, so there is something you need to remember about me. I'm a detective. My job is to figure things out and recognize when someone is lying to me. I'm good at my job because I see the little details others miss. Like just a minute ago when you tossed that note down into the water so I wouldn't read it again." He raises one eye brow at me before continuing. "I'm also not a quitter. I'll search for answers long after everyone else has given up. So it would probably save us both a lot of time if you just come out with it." He rubs his thumb across my nipple.

"However, you are so f*cking hot right now, I'm willing to let this slide long enough for us to christen your shower properly. I'll just talk to Kara when she gets home." He leans over, placing a very promising kiss on my shoulder.

I jerk away from him, slipping and sliding in the shower. Thankfully, he grabs my hips keeping me from toppling out onto the bathroom floor.

"You can't ask Kara!" And I'm serious, he can't. She will make it sound way worse than it really is. She would probably even hit on him and stare at his pants while she tells him.

"Then why don't you let me in on your little secret. I probably wouldn't care if you weren't so desperate to hide it from me."

Crap, I'm going to have to do this. I let out a frustrated groan and stare at the ceiling to avoid his eyes, "She wants me to tell her what vegetable your penis most closely resembles." I sigh and wait for his reaction.

Brett has a great sense of humor. I'm sure he'll laugh about this. But I hate being laughed at, even when it's obviously something as silly as this. I feel his hands grip my hips a little tighter. My eyes slide back to his, where I find him standing with a blank look on his face. No humor dancing in his eyes. Nothing.

"Well?" he asks, void of all emotions.

"Well, what?"

"I have no idea how to feel about this until I know what vegetable you picked," he says seriously.

"Oh, um...I don't know. I didn't exactly plan on answering her." I stumble over my words.

"Okay, well let's discuss this." He backs up, gliding his hands through the air, showcasing his privates like a Price Is Right model. "See, if you said green bean, I'd be very upset. However, if you told her an eggplant, I'd probably never wear pants again. So what's it going to be Jess?"

This conversation has just crossed over into crazy town. Brett is always funny, but this ludicrous conversation is a bit odd even for him. Just as I'm about to mentally inventory the produce department, I catch a small glimmer in his otherwise serious eyes. Oh my God! He's messing with me. Again. Hopefully I'm not wrong about this, because I'm about to turn the tables on this jokester.

I slide my eyes down his body. Swaying my head side to side, I pretend to weigh my options. "Well," I answer quietly, "I guess I would have to say a kosher dill pickle."

"What?" he asks incredulously.

"Yeah, definitely a dill pickle spear." I look down at his feet pretending to be embarrassed, but really trying to keep him from the seeing the smile I'm desperately attempting to hide.

"What?" he yells. "A spear?! Not even the whole pickle? Jesse, you need glasses!" he screams, trying to defend his deflating manhood. I can't hold back the laugh that's building inside any longer. I burst out laughing causing the disbelief to fade from his face.

"Oh, I get it. You're a funny girl today, huh? Ha. Ha. Hilarious, smart ass." He pretends to be annoyed as I continue to laugh. "Yeah, laugh it up now, because I'm about to pickle you." He leans forward, so close I can feel his breath against my ear as he whispers, "hard." I abruptly go quiet, as I feel myself getting wet and it has nothing to do with the chilly water coming from the shower head. Who knew such ridiculous words could have this kind of effect on me, but the way Brett says them, instantly turns me into a wanton woman.