Cassie (The Mitchell/Healy Family #7)(44)
For the next several days we could be friends. After that, there was no telling how she’d feel about me. Only time would tell.
Chapter 23
Cassie
It felt so good to get out of that house. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy being in a place where I felt safe. I just preferred to be able to do what I wanted when I wanted. The thing was, I knew deep down inside that Logan was only doing what he thought was necessary. It wasn’t for forever. Soon I’d be free to live my life however I chose to.
A part of me felt sad imagining it. For the first time in my life I felt like I had friends outside of my family that I could count on. Charlie and Logan were constant reminders of how good people could still be. Their tremendous help had saved me in so many ways. I owed them, and I hoped some day I’d be able to repay them for being generous.
After enjoying a nice meal together, and leaving enough for Charlie when she came home from her overnight shift, we packed up the car and hit the road. Logan was very kind to include me, even if it was just to have an extra driver so he could rest. I didn’t mind. The idea of getting out of the city for several days seemed like the best remedy for me. I wanted to see sunsets and stars. I wanted to smell fresh cut grass and a gentle country breeze. I missed farm fields and tractors.
I suppose you can take the girl off the farm, but you can’t take the country out of her, no matter how hard someone tried.
The last time I’d been in a car cross country, I had hopes for a bright future. I was in love and oblivious to what hardships could be like. I’d lost a lot in a little amount of time. It was difficult to think back to a time when I was completely happy with my life. I often wondered if I’d ever really be able to find peace with some of the things I’d done in the past. All I could do is look forward. I’d repent for my sins, and pray that God would forgive them.
Ever since I’d been clean I’d gotten a new aspect on life. I was thankful I hadn’t been addicted for a long period of time, because I knew it would be a harder struggle. For me, being away from the lifestyle was the fastest fix. I assume that’s why Logan took me in. He wanted to make sure I stayed straight. It was funny how at a person’s lowest of times there was someone who could swoop in and still make a difference. After this experience I wondered if I’d be able to do something to give back. Could I help people like he did? Could I be considered a good person? Would doing so help me get into heaven, because I feared that’s not where I was headed.
I know God forgave, but did he absolve everything? My guilt was like a constant reminder, and as much as I tried to let it go, I held myself in contempt.
Logan took the first shift driving. He had the radio on low and was moving his fingers to the beat of each song. I’d brought something to read, but I wasn’t bored yet. I enjoyed watching the city lights fade into the distance. “Do you ever think about leaving Vegas and living somewhere else?”
“Of course. I mean, I’ve settled in okay, but I don’t know if I want to stay there forever. I’d rather move somewhere remote, like in the mountains. I picture myself as being able to live off the land. I think I’d be fine with a cabin, even if there was no electricity. All the hustle and bustle gets to be intolerable. A simpler life would be nice. Maybe one day when I retire I’d come upon a place to spend the rest of my days.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine not having electricity. You’d probably stink, not being able to properly clean your clothes. It’s cool, if you’re into being a caveman.”
I made him chuckle. “Oh, I see. You’ve got jokes. Tell me then, princess Cassie, do you have an idea of where you’d like to live out your days?”
I closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like; my perfect sanctuary. “I picture fields of tall grasses, apple trees, grapes growing from vines. I see a small house with a wrap around porch. There’s a lemonade stand out front and my two daughters are trying to get the people driving by to stop for a glass. There’s a chocolate lab by their side, keeping a close eye so they’re not in any danger. He’s their best friend. He sleeps between their matching twin beds at night. I’m sitting on a swing on the porch, the smell of a fresh baked pie consumes me. Clothes on the line are blowing in the wind and a hint of bleach is detected. There are horses and a stable in the distance, and I know at any minute my husband will be home and expect a piece of that pie.”
He interrupted me with another chuckle. “Please tell me he wants the one in the oven, and it’s not code for sex. That’s too funny.”
“You asked. I suppose he wants a piece of both.”
“You’re imaginary life sounds surreal. You’re young. You still have time to make it how you want. I’m sure you can have everything if you put your mind to it.”
I shrugged and looked out the window. It was dark now, and every so often a street light would illuminate the long road ahead of us. “I hope so. What about you? You’re not that old are you?” It occurred to me I’d never thought about it. His age always seemed irrelevant.
“I’ll be thirty at the end of the year. Why, how old did you think I was?”
“About that I guess. I’m a horrible judge with things like that. One time we had this carnival come into our small town. I stood there watching some guy guess ages, weights and even birth months. I’d think the answer in my head and miss every time, while he usually got close.”