By Your Side(69)

He chuckled. “I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’m not great with . . . well . . . people.”

I smiled, tossed my mascara back on the dresser, and sank to the floor next to him. “You’re great with me.”

He put aside the computer and pulled me up onto the beanbag chair next to him.

I ran my fingers through his hair. “We don’t have to stay long. It’s just the celebration for Jeff getting out of the hospital and, you know, being alive and stuff. I feel like it’s important that I go. And I want you to go with me. Officially meet my friends.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close. Maybe I didn’t want to go to the party after all.

“I have something for you,” he said.

“You do?”

He shifted and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a bright pink bracelet.

I lowered my brow. “Where did you get that? I threw mine away.”

“I figured as much. I went by the library.” He took my wrist and tied it there, then held up his own wrist. The bracelet, which he’d always worn on his right hand, was now on his left, crossing the tattoo. He didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder, a smile on my face.

It was loud and noisy and crowded, just like the last party Dallin had thrown. I reminded myself there was an empty laundry room available anytime I needed it. That seemed to settle down my fast-beating heart. Not to mention Dax’s hand in mine. I led him through the crowd, introducing him to different people, including Jeff and Dallin, until I found Lisa.

She hip-checked me. “Hey, baby. You made it. And you brought your boy.” She smiled at Dax. “Hi, I’m Lisa.”

“Hi,” Dax said.

“I’ve seen you around. Most recently last night at Iceberg where you were trying to win over my best friend.”

Dax held up our linked hands. “I think I won.”

She nodded. “You won the best heart in the world, so take care of it.”

I looked at Lisa in surprise. She wasn’t normally so sentimental.

She met my stare, then said, “Can I steal you to dance with me, or would you rather stay here where it’s less crowded?”

“I would love to dance with you.” I squeezed Dax’s hand. “You good?”

“I’m fine.”

Lisa dragged me to the middle of the crowd. “I didn’t have a chance to talk to you last night at all.”

“I know. I was kind of busy falling for a boy and stuff.”

She laughed. “I’m glad you came tonight. I was worried after last night you’d feel . . . I don’t know . . .”

“Stupid?”

“No, not stupid, but embarrassed or something. I was worried you wouldn’t want to hang out with us. I’m sorry about the whole kidnapping thing.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I knew it was all supposed to be innocent and fun but I couldn’t convince my body of that. My brain and body don’t play well together sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.”

I shrugged. “It’s life. Most of the time it’s manageable. I still want to live, you know?”

“I know. I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.”

After the song was over she leaned close and said, “Should you rescue him?”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Dax surrounded by Jeff, Dallin, Zach, and Connor.

“I’ll give him a minute and see how he does.”

“He seems good for you,” Lisa said. “More calm or stable or, I don’t know—you two just fit.”

“We do.”

“It doesn’t hurt that he’s very easy on the eyes.”

I laughed and looked over at the group of guys again. Jeff, Dallin, and the others were laughing and talking animatedly, occasionally punching or shoving each other. And Dax stood there, a small smile on his face, just listening, his body still. Then his eyes met mine and he said something and left them, heading my way.

I squeezed Lisa’s arm. “I’m going to dance with my boyfriend now.”

She smiled. “I’m going to go flirt.”

“Have fun.”

Dax reached my side, took me by the hand, and led me up the stairs and down two halls without saying a word. I wasn’t sure if Jeff or one of the other guys had said something or if something else was bothering him until he opened the door to the laundry room, led me inside, and closed it behind us.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Just thought we needed to visit our favorite room in this house.”

I laughed and he pulled me into a hug.

“You want to dance?” I asked. The music was muted but still audible.

He swayed me back and forth much slower than the beat of the music.

“So now that you’ve committed to a girl, maybe you can go to class more, or even get a cat,” I said.

I could feel his cheek, pressed against mine, turn up in a smile. “One step at a time, Autumn, one step at a time.”





ACKNOWLEDGMENTS


To all of you out there who live with anxiety, depression, or other mental illnesses, you are seen. I know there are days where you feel like you’ve conquered a beast and days where you feel like it has conquered you. Thanks for being you and battling on.