By Your Side(67)

“Protecting me?”

“I’ve heard rumors about him.”

“Jeff.” An anger rose up my chest.

“I know. Don’t be mad. I’m telling you now because I saw the way you looked at him when he walked in here. This is more than just a passing crush.”

Dax had paid for something that he held in a brown paper bag and was now headed for the door. I was stuck, two people on my right, two on my left.

“I have your back,” Jeff said, then he called out, “Dax!”

Dax turned and Jeff motioned him to come over. He did.

Jeff, unable to keep his jokester in check for long, said, as he threw his arm around my shoulder, “Were you looking at my girl?”

I elbowed him in the side and he laughed. I thought Dax would deny it, scoff at Jeff and leave, sensing he was the butt of some joke, but he stood his ground, met Jeff’s stare head on. “Yes. I was.”

That got the attention of everyone at the table, including me. But I wasn’t feeling exceptionally charitable toward Dax considering our last interaction.

“Glad you’re feeling better,” Dax said to Jeff. Then to me, “Glad everything is back to normal.”

I definitely didn’t owe Dax an explanation, not after how he’d treated me. A couple of weeks ago, regardless of what Dax had done, I’d have been tempted to explain everything, make sure he still liked me.

Instead of responding to his statement I said, “You’re still wearing your bracelet.” I had taken mine off after the fight we had in the car.

His eyes went to my bare wrist. “It reminds me of a relationship I don’t want to lose.”

My heart skipped a beat. “But you’ve branded yourself unattached,” I said. “Uncommitted.”

He nodded his head to me, then waved to the rest of the table. “See you all later.”

“Aren’t you going to go after him?” Lisa asked as Dax walked out the door.

I looked at the other faces of my friends, the ones who didn’t know my history with Dax. The ones whose looks only registered confusion. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go after him. I knew my heart was racing. I knew I cared about him. But the thought of letting him in again scared me.

“If you don’t, I might,” Jeff said. “That was hot.”

I laughed. “Let me out.” I needed to at least hear what he had to say. I pushed Lisa, and Avi beside her. They didn’t move fast enough, so I climbed over the top of the table.

“Seriously?” Dallin asked, having to move his shake and fries so they didn’t end up in his lap.

“Shove it,” I said, not caring for one second what he thought right now. Jeff laughed behind me.

It had taken me too long to get outside. The sidewalk was empty. I looked up and down the street out front, hoping there was a bus stop. I didn’t see one. Dax was nowhere in sight. I whirled around and rushed to the end of the building, then peered around the corner. Dax was there, leaning against the brick wall.

My breath caught in my throat and I stopped short of joining him, lingering just far enough away to be out of reach. “Hi,” I said.

“Hey. Thanks for coming out.”

I nodded and rubbed at the goose bumps that had sprung onto my arms. He shrugged out of his jacket and held it out for me.

“That’s okay. I’m good.” I wasn’t even sure how long I would be out here. I didn’t need to be wrapped in his scent while trying to think clearly.

He didn’t put his jacket back on, just clutched it in his grip. “I went to the game hoping to see you, but it wasn’t good timing. I knew you and your friends normally come here after a game, so I thought I’d come because I needed to talk to you. I feel . . .” He looked up at me instead of at the ground where he’d been staring. “I feel terrible for how I treated you the other day. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I know you meant well. I want to say I acted that way because I was shocked to see my mom or that I was scared of how I was feeling about you, but there is no excuse for how I acted.”

“Thank you.” I wanted him to walk closer, to take the first step because I couldn’t. He’d hurt me and I was the one with the wall up now.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“What?”

“You warned me about what would happen if I kissed you and I didn’t listen.”

I gave a breathy laugh.

He smiled. It was a sad smile, not what I’d grown used to, but it still managed to twist my heart. “No, that’s a lie. I was attached before the kiss. Jeff really is a nice guy and one lucky SOB.”

A laugh burst out of me and I covered my mouth.

Dax pushed himself off the wall and I knew he was leaving now that he’d said his piece. I thought about letting him because the thought of that day in the car still physically hurt.

But I couldn’t. Even though I knew this might end in heartbreak, that he might make my life scary and complicated and unpredictable, I knew I couldn’t let him walk away. Because I knew he’d also make my life happy and comforting and full. “Jeff and I aren’t together.”

He stopped, one foot out in front of him, his hands still wrapped around his jacket. “You’re not?”

“Turns out I don’t follow rules either.”