Broken (The Captive #5.5)(43)

I'm really just hoping that maybe some distance from here will help to heal the brokenness inside me that so far time has only made worse, instead of better. I don't think that will work either but at least Camille will be away from the monster in the next room.

***

"Are you ready to go Genny?"

She returned the fake bottom to the chest and carefully placed her clothes on top of it. "I am." She forced a smile as she rose to her feet, smoothed the wrinkles from her tunic, and turned toward her sister. Camille looked as lovely as always with her braid falling over her shoulder and the deep blue of her mantle bringing out the vivid color of her eyes.

Camille studied her before shaking her head. "You're fooling no one with that smile."

"Well at least I'm trying to pretend."

"You should stop pretending with me."

"And then what?" she inquired. "Cry, carry on, curse fate and the heavens? That doesn't get anyone anywhere and I refuse to be like Marie or Felix and blame the rest of the world for my problems."

"Just be honest, you're sad."

"I am," she confirmed. "And you're late, so let's get you to those children."

She slid her arm through her sister's and turned for the door. Camille rested her head against her shoulder as they left the hut and stepped into the misty day. "All I want is for you to be happy. You've always been so concerned about me that you never thought of yourself before you met him. You should do so again."

"You are my biggest concern. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you get the life that you deserve."

Camille stopped walking and turned to face her. "Don't you understand that that is all I want for you too? I won't have you sacrificing yourself for me Genny."

"I'm not sacrificing myself for you Camille, don't ever think that. You're the only one I've ever loved until he entered my life. When he was here, you were still my number one concern. He is the one that is sacrificing himself by marrying someone else, because he must."

Camille's lips puckered, her delicate eyebrows drew together. "He loves you Genny."

"Unfortunately, that's not enough in this world. Now come on. I have to get to town before the men start spending all their money on their daily supplies."

Camille fell into step beside her again. "You know what Marie is, what she does, that's not what he's asking for from you. He wants more from you then any of those men ever wanted from Marie. You could have a better life than anything you've ever dared to dream of with him. He would take care of you, I know he would."

"I can't be like her."

"You're nothing like that woman. Stop thinking that, it's only holding you back."

Genny stopped walking and turned to face her sister. "Holding me back from what Camille? Being someone's mistress? No one has ever taken care of me before, I won't allow someone to do so now."

"You'll give up someone you love so you can keep your pride?"

"It's not that simple," she whispered as tears filled her eyes. "He would also be with someone else…" Just the thought of that made it impossible for her to continue speaking.

Camille rested her hand on Genny's arm. "And he'll be free of her as soon as they have a son. He wants you forever; he has to be with her until his duties have been fulfilled. I know you're a proud woman Genny. I know how strong and independent you are but for once allow yourself to be happy."

Genny wiped at her eyes and turned away. "There's also you, we have to get you away from Felix."

"You're the one he pummels on a regular basis."

"And you're the one that he watches too closely."

Camille shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. "I can't stand him," she murmured.

"I know," Genny whispered and brushed back a lose strand of Camille's hair. She was too beautiful for her own good but if they could get away from Felix, Genny knew she would be able to keep her safe.

"Maybe Atticus would allow me to come and live with you both."

"He wouldn't have a choice," Genny retorted.

Camille laughed as she squeezed her arm. "You're right, he wouldn't."

She turned to say goodbye to her sister when they arrived at the small building where the children resided. "I'll be back later," Genny promised. She kissed Camille on the forehead and slipped into the woods.

Her mind churned with Camille's words as she moved through the forest in search of a meal. She'd barely fed since she'd last seen Atticus, the idea of it made her stomach turn, but she had to feed in order to keep up her strength. She caught hold of a fox on the other side of the river and holding him carefully within her arms, she forced herself to sink her fangs into its neck.

The feral scent of the animal filled her nostrils as its blood spilled into her mouth. Her stomach twisted, the blood tasted almost rotten to her and it took everything she had to suppress her gag reflex in order to swallow it down. Frustration and heartache filled her; she released the fox before she accidentally snapped its neck as her mind and soul seemed to sink further into a deep depression.

Leaning forward, she rested her arms and forehead on the forest floor and released the scream that had been trapped within her chest these past weeks. The tangy scent of the earth filled her nostrils, her lashes fluttered against the leaves and pine needles beneath her as she blinked against the tears pooling in her eyes. She sat there for a few minutes, trying to regain control of herself.