Broken Girl(71)

“I got here a lit’le early, got a couple mochas and scones.”

“That’s perfect.” I pulled off my sweater and laid it across the back of my chair while he went and got our drinks. Portland wasn’t much different than San Francisco, the weather was cold and you always dressed in layers.

“‘ere we go. I hope you like whip cream, I asked for extra.” He winked, making me smile. I missed him, especially since we were almost inseparable the last days of Sybil’s life.

“I don’t know if I told you how important you were to me when Sybil . . . you know. Thank you for taking care of her things for me. You were the rock I needed.”

Briggs grabbed my hand across the table. His eyes pinned on mine, he gave me a genuine smile. One of those smiles that you could feel all the way down into your toes. Key saved me from having to deal with the bags of stuff Sybil’s family never took and all the gifts Mr. C had sent me.

“You don’t have to say it, me gir’. It was nothin’ more than makin’ a phone call.”

I smiled back.

“Now tell me how you’re doin’, Rosie? Is this going to be home for you now?” He took a guarded sip of his mocha.

“Well, I’ve been waitressing at a Cajun restaurant, and everyone there is so nice. I’m going to a group that helps those who are trying to mainstream into life after the streets. I don’t know if this is home yet.” I could tell he wanted more. I shot him a quick smile and pulled my mocha up to my lips.

“Mmmm, this is really goot.”

“You know Kean, I’m doing what I can. I talk to Sybil every morning. It might be crazy, but she gives me the strength to continue to go on breathing. Knowing she will never take another breath, I make sure I continue to breathe for both of us.”

He reached over the table again and pulled my hand into his.

“I know you miss her. I understan’ how you cling to t’at to keep your sanity and her memory alive.”

His eyes pierced my soul and I saw he had more to tell me.

“What’s on your mind, Key?”

“That Shane of yours is a nice dude, but the guy keeps findin’ me ever’ couple o’ days, asking me if I’d seen you aroun’. He hasn’t givin’ up, Rosie.”

I pulled my hands out of his.

“Key, I’m really trying to get my head on straight before I invite someone else into my life. Shane knows what I’m doing. If he waits for me . . . great. If he doesn’t . . . then I have to live with the choices I had to make. But I can’t go there right now. I’m just getting my shit together.”

I took a drink from my mocha.

“I’m not tryin’ to pressure you ‘bout him. I know wat you’re doin’ here. I know, Rosie, I do, but I also know wat will bring you happiness, and I don’t want you to lose t’at. All I want is to see you happy, me gir’.”

“Who’s to say I’m not happy? I’m finally doing what I need to do for me. Just me. What about you, Key? Are you happy doin’ what you’re doin’?” I knew he could see right through me. I was an open book to Kean Briggs.

“As happy as I can be, business is about the same, except I miss your smart ass.”

I smiled, but it was short-lived as my thoughts were hijacked by the girls I had left behind.

“Have you seen Crystal and Brie?”

“Ahhh, yeah, every so often. They’re doing what they gotta do to make it, you know?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just t’at they made some choices they though’ were best for them. They got themselves a pimp.”

I felt my heart break. This was too hard, maybe I wasn’t ready to hear about the life I had left behind. It opened too many memories that I was trying to overcome.

“You know what, Key, I shouldn’t have asked. I don’t think I’m really ready to hear about that.”

“I understan’, Rosie. I didn’t come here to talk about t’at. I came to see you and find out ‘bout how your life is goin’.”

“Oh, Key, it’s been six eye-opening months. It’s a struggle every day. I won’t say some days aren’t worse than others. But, every second I talk myself into believing I’m worthy of a better life is a moment I’ve battled and won. I don’t want to ever be that person again.”

He slid his hands up across my elbows before he pulled me up into a hug.

“I’m real sorry, me gir’. I’d never want you to be t’at person again, either.”

We stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms. Peace threaded itself between us, a freedom swept across every cell of my being. I knew at that moment, I was going to make it. Briggs pushed his lips to the top of my head.

Healing touch.

“I’ll nev’r mention you’ past ever again. I promise.”

My body melted into his, not in a sexual way, but in a renewed way, an inner strength kinda way.

I was safe.

“Thanks Key. It’ll get easier, it’s just something I can’t handle right now. It’s still kinda raw, ya’ know?”

Even though I didn’t want to hear about my old life, I ached to ask him more about Shane. I wanted to hear about how Shane kept looking for me, but I didn’t. I craved to find my strength in Shane’s conviction to wait for me, but I couldn’t. I had to change because it was something I wanted, I needed, for myself and not for someone else.