Broken Course (Wrecked and Ruined #3)(85)

"ángel," I breathe.

"You let me down, Leo. You took the trust that I gave you and made me regret it once again."

"I know. I—" I start, but she quickly interrupts me.

"Shut up. Let me talk."

I take a step closer, desperate to feel the comfort only Sarah can give me, but I stop when she lifts a hand.

"And don’t even think about touching me."

"Okay." I grab the back of my neck to still my hands, which obviously did not understand her words.

"I’m pissed. And hurt—so f*cking hurt. I hate that you didn’t trust me enough to open up to me about something as big as a child. But I get it. You’re right. I would have tried to make you reach out to her. So, for that, I’m sorry."

"Sarah, please don’t—"

"Shut. Up." She silences me again. "It’s who I am and I know it’s overbearing and probably annoying as hell. That’s me and I’m sorry to say it, Leo, but I’m probably always going to be like that."

"I don’t want you to be anyone else," I whisper, taking another step forward.

She stands up and backs away to maintain the distance between us. "After the accident, I used to cry myself to sleep, wishing someone could fix me. I actually used to dream about this hero rushing in to save me and magically making all the static in my mind silent." She laughs to herself. "But no matter how much everyone around me tried, that person never came. Finally, I was forced to fix myself, and it f*cking sucked. It was grueling, and it took so much goddamn blood, sweat, and tears to get me where I am today. So when I see you struggle, it breaks me all over again. It transports me back to how hopeless I used to feel. I have this ingrained need to make things easier for you because, in turn, it heals me as well.

"You have told me a million times that I saved you, but I disagree. With one simple, ‘Hi. I’m Leo James,’ you rescued me. You shattered my force field and magically began repairing parts of me I didn’t even know were broken."

"Please let me touch you," I beg as her words pierce through me.

"Not yet," she answers simply.

It’s only the fact that she said yet that keeps me rooted in place.

"Leo, you showed me that crazy is the new normal and that it shouldn’t hurt to breathe. With one stroke of your fingers across my neck, you make the entire crazy world disappear. That savior I dreamed about may not have looked like you, but I have absolutely no doubt that it was always you. And I think the part I still can’t get over is that I never in a million years could have imagined being able to help you too."

Tears begin to slide down her cheeks, and every drop of moisture is like a knife to my gut.

"So, back to my point. I’m pissed. Like, f*cking pissed, but I have a sneaking suspicion that, if the tables were turned, you wouldn’t have batted an eye at my omission. You would have brushed it off, pulled me into your chest, and figured out a way to take on the whole goddamn world if that’s what I needed. So here I am."

"Sarah," I breathe as emotions spring to my eyes.

"I have some terms though."

I nod in understanding.

"One, I want you to start anti-depressants. Like, tonight. We’ve never talked about what your hangups are with medication, but I’m not budging. You can’t be going dark with a child in the house. And if a pill helps you manage things a little better, then, Goddamn it, I’m going to start lacing your lunch if I have to."

"Okay," I quickly agree. I may not like it, but she’s right.

"Tonight, Leo. Erica’s a doctor, right? Get her to call you in something. Then, when we get back, you can go see someone for a full regimen. I know the next few days are going to be rough, and I can’t have you withdrawing into your head."

"Okay," I repeat as my heart begins to swell at the possibilities.

"Two, I need you to accept my apology for flipping out earlier. I wasn’t focusing on the right part of the issue. But you have to stop surprising me with shit. I do a really bad job at processing it."

"Okay," I agree once again as a smile starts to creep across my lips.

"And three, I want my ring back."

And that’s it. There is nothing in the world that can keep me from touching her for even a second longer. With three giant steps, I rush across the room and crush her into my arms.

I hold her tighter than I ever thought was possible. I’m wishing I never had to leave this moment where everything is right. However, knowing that Sarah will be at my side for the next twenty-four hours doesn’t seem so hard.

It actually seems easy.

"We need to buy plane tickets," she whispers.

"I already did." I lean away to catch her eye.

"For both of us?"

"Yep. I wasn’t sure when to make the return flight, so for now, they are just one way."

"Wow. I’m that transparent, huh?" She leans her neck to the side, silently asking for a kiss.

"No, I just had big plans of kidnapping you. I bought the chloroform, zip ties, and everything," I say, trailing wet kisses up her neck as she rewards me with the most amazing laugh, which I swear I can feel all the way down to the marrow in my bones.

"No chloroform necessary, but hang on to those zip ties. We can probably think of a use for them later." She smiles.