Broken Course (Wrecked and Ruined #3)(88)

Sarah started going through the two small bags that consisted of all of Liv’s belongings. The social worker had warned me that the Avilas sent very little with Liv when they’d dropped her off. I hadn’t exactly expected to need a moving van for a five-year-old or anything, but with the exception of one doll and two books, there wasn’t even a toy in sight. Her entire life didn’t even amount to a full suitcase.

Among those belongings wasn’t a single picture of her mother. I have a few pictures of Amy from years ago tucked away somewhere, I’m sure, but I’d be hard-pressed to find them. Thankfully, after an uncomfortable phone call to Max, he agreed to e-mail me everything he still had. He didn’t say much during our brief conversation, but before he hung up, he left his parting words.

"Things had gotten really bad, Leo. I’m just glad she’s with you now."

And as Sarah stands in front of me telling me how half of her clothes won’t fit and the other half are tattered or stained, I can’t help but agree with him.

"What the f*ck!" I boom and it echoes in the small bathroom.

"Hush," she urges. "You’re going to wake her up."

"Do you have any idea how much f*cking money I’ve been sending Amy?"

She shakes her head.

"I’ve sent her at least four thousand dollars a month in child support for the last year. The minute I got my first big contract after starting Guardian, I sent her a lump some of twenty grand to make up for everything I didn’t send while I was in the program. For f*ck’s sake, I didn’t even pay Johnson that first month because I sent it all to her."

"Jesus," she mumbles.

"And now my child doesn’t even have clothes that fit? I’ll admit that I’m a piece of shit for not visiting her, but I at least went out of my way to make sure she would never be without the way Amy and I were growing up. Goddamn it!" I roar. "She couldn’t even buy her clothes? Where the f*ck did all that money go?" I run a rough hand through my hair.

"I’m going to guess drugs," Sarah whispers, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Awesome. Now I get to live with the guilt that I killed her."

"I’ve listened to you spout a lot of crap, Leo. But please tell me that you don’t believe that."

"No. I don’t. But Christ, it pisses me off." I blow out a breath and look down at Sarah. "So what do we do?" I ask, managing to get myself back under control.

"We go shopping and buy her a few outfits to travel in. She’ll love it. Then, when we get home, we start from scratch." She tosses me an encouraging smile.

I have no idea how the hell I would have handled any of this without her.

"I love you. So f*cking much." I kiss her deeply, trying to return to her even an ounce of the way she makes me feel. But the most amazing thing happens—Sarah’s lips somehow give me more.

"Come on. Let’s go take a nap too. I’m exhausted." She opens the bathroom door and the sound of Liv crying meets our ears at the exact same moment.

We rush around the corner to find her sitting up on the bed with her knees pulled to her chest. Tears are rolling down her face.

"Liv?" Sarah says gently, walking over to the bed and sitting beside her.

Liv quickly scrambles onto her lap. I have no idea what to do, so I stand at the foot of the bed and watch Sarah comfort her.

"You okay?" She smooths down the back of her hair as Liv begins to calm in her arms.

"I thought maybe you left," Liv finally squeaks out.

It rips the remaining shards of my heart in half.

"No, we’re not going anywhere, baby," Sarah reassures her as I let out a Spanish curse in frustration that this child would even have to worry about that.

Liv’s eyes immediately snap to mine.

"Sorry," I respond for my outburst and offer her a smile.

"That’s a bad word," she informs me while wiping the tears from her eyes and moving off Sarah’s lap.

"Hablas espa?ol?" (You speak Spanish?) I ask in shock, although I’m not sure why. It should have been more surprising that she speaks English. Amy’s parents were from Mexico and she spoke almost exclusively Spanish at home.

"Sí," she answers, giving me a small smile I can’t help but return.

"Bien. Ahora ella no entendera cuando nosotros le hacemos una broma." (Good. Now she won’t be able to understand us when we play tricks on her.) I tilt my head to Sarah and Liv begins to giggle.

"No le hagas bromas feas, pues ella es muy buena." (Not mean tricks. She’s nice.)

"Sí, ella lo es." (Yeah, she is.) I respond with a wink.

"Oh no. I think I’m in trouble now," Sarah exaggerates, making Liv laugh even louder. "Looks like I’m going to have to learn Spanish pretty soon."

"I can teach you," Liv volunteers.

"Really? That would be great. But let’s stick to English until I get the hang of it." She reaches out and brushes the hair off Liv’s neck in the most familiar way. "Hey, so I was thinking maybe we could go shopping. Have a little fun before our plane ride home tomorrow. Maybe I can pick out an outfit for you, and you can pick out one for me. What do you think?"

"Is Leo coming?" she asks.