Best of My Love (Fool's Gold, #20)(81)

He loved her. No, he was in love with her. Or both. Did it matter? He loved Shelby. Why wouldn’t he? She was bright and funny and caring and sweet. He loved looking at her and being with her and making love with her. He loved her.

Why hadn’t he realized this before? Possibly because he was a guy, he told himself. Despite his recent training, he wasn’t exactly intuitive. But he knew now. He loved her.

Thinking the words felt right. Now he just had to say them.

“Shelby—”

She took a step back. “I’m done.”

“What?”

“I’m done. With this.” She waved her hand between them. “With us. The friendship thing. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was never going to work. I don’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t want to have anything to do with you. It was a stupid idea and I want it over.”

“But I—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she told him, and then she walked away.





CHAPTER TWENTY

SHELBY KNEW SHE was a big, fat failure. Or a fraud. Or both. She’d been so sure about what she wanted. So smug and determined. She’d had all the answers. Become friends with a man so she could get over being scared. Why not? It was the perfect plan.

And it had been working, too. She’d been healing. She’d felt it, had known it. And then everything had crashed in around her.

She sat in her living room, in a corner of the sofa. She’d pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her knees. But even that wasn’t enough to hold herself together. She was unraveling, bit by bit.

Watching that woman kiss Aidan had shocked her into seeing the truth. Oh, she knew the kiss was meaningless. She trusted Aidan completely. He’d told her about the dinner and had asked her to join them if she wanted. Not the actions of the man out to cheat. Plus, she knew him. He had flaws, but that wasn’t one of them.

No, the shock hadn’t been about the kiss itself, but her instant, down-to-the-bone jealousy. The intense flash had stunned her, as had the realization that whatever emotions she had for Aidan, they were too big to be contained.

She hadn’t known, she thought as she tried to steady her breathing. She hadn’t realized that caring could get so large. So overpowering. She wasn’t ready for that, she couldn’t handle that. Loving Kipling was easy. He was her brother and she’d known him all her life. Loving her friends was also simple. They were there for her. But what if she loved Aidan?

She couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t risk it. Because that’s what love was—a risk. She was expected to hand her heart over to some man? No way. That wasn’t going to happen. She knew better. She’d seen the damage love could do. No way she was taking any chances.

She’d spent her whole life protecting herself, and with good reason. She wasn’t going to stop now—no matter what. Better to be alone forever than to take the chance.

*

SHELBY COULDN’T REMEMBER ever visiting the offices of Score before. The PR firm had relocated about three years before—moving former Super Bowl champions Jack, Sam and Kenny to Fool’s Gold. Although Jack had left Score to coach football at the local university, the other two were still working the business, along with their partner, Taryn.

Now Shelby looked at the larger-than-life-size portraits of the former football players on the reception area walls and wondered what on earth she’d been thinking. Maybe her father’s fists had damaged more than her spirit, she thought sadly. Maybe they’d damaged her actual brain.

Still, there was no turning back now, she told herself as she continued along the hallway, then paused in front of the partially open door. She knocked once before entering.

Taryn was behind her desk, wearing a black-and-white floral print dress that not only fit her perfectly, but probably cost more than a used car. Shelby was sure she would recognize the name of the designer, should she bother to ask. Next to Taryn’s chair was a pair of ridiculously high-heeled pumps. Taryn herself was barefoot, which made sense. Who could walk in shoes like that?

Her friend rose and walked around her desk. “Shelby, honey, what’s wrong? You sounded upset on the phone.”

“I’m sorry.”

The response was automatic and foolish. She wasn’t sorry. She was confused and angry, and confused about being angry, but she wasn’t sorry.

Taryn crossed to her. “Let’s have a seat.” She motioned to the sofas at the far end of the room. “Do you want some coffee? It’s early for wine, but I have a bottle in the refrigerator if that would help.”

“I don’t want wine or coffee. I’m fine.”

They sat across from each other. Taryn’s blue-violet eyes were dark with concern. Shelby couldn’t blame her. She’d phoned impulsively, and had asked if they could talk. While she and Taryn often spent time together at their girlfriend lunches, their relationship was more “friend of a friend.”

Taryn smiled at her. “How can I help?”

“You can’t.”

“Okay. That makes this more interesting.”

Shelby thought maybe the other woman would insist on knowing why she’d come by or what she wanted, but Taryn sat patiently, obviously waiting for Shelby to get to whatever it was that had brought her to Score.

“I don’t know why I’m here,” she admitted. “I think it’s because you’re the—” She almost said “meanest” but knew that wasn’t right. Taryn wasn’t ever mean. She was actually kind and giving and she’d offered Shelby a loan. “You’re the most direct of my friends.”