Bereft (Seven Year Itch #2)(6)
He threw his hands in the air as he backed away and actually took my advice. He was probably going to run right to his little whore, where she’d mend his broken ego. Hell, he might get off on the fact that he’d been caught. Maybe this was how he figured he could get out of our marriage. Unlike a normal person, my husband was always a coward when it came to making adult decisions. Half the time he couldn’t order take out on his own.
“See what I mean?” He argued. “It’s always my fault. You don’t make the effort. Its always me bending over backwards. At least I know you’re still human now. You continue care a little about us. It’s too bad you couldn’t give a shit before, you know, all the nights you brought your damn computer to bed with you, and denied me affection. Did you think I could live like that forever?”
“You bastard! You could have come to me – talked to me like a committed husband should. You made the choice to sleep with someone else. You did this!” I could have killed him. His affair wasn’t to get my attention. People didn’t do that, not to the ones they love.
“I’ll leave, but this isn’t over. I won’t let you take this away from me, Rachel. I’ve worked too hard for everything we have. We’ll fix this. You’ll get over it. I need you to. I’ll end things with Kyla. It was never serious for me. I was flattered she found me attractive. One thing led to another and I couldn’t help myself. You would have done the same thing had you been in my situation. Imagine being pushed away, feeling like you weren’t attractive anymore. I made bad choices, because for once I wanted to feel alive again. You can hate me for it, but that’s the truth. You’re the only woman I’ll ever love. I promised you that, and I mean it. You got me through the worst of times. I owe you everything. I won’t let you push me away.”
“You also promised to be faithful, *.”
“You’re right. I did. You made promises too, babe.” Grayson seemed sincere while he was speaking, as if he truly was being honest about his feelings. “I’ll give you a couple days to calm down. I’m not asking for you to understand, I’m not even asking for forgiveness. I made the choice to sleep with her. I know my sins.” I looked into his eyes and saw he was beginning to tear up. “I’m sorry you had to find out like this. I never wanted you to know. In my mind I thought I could get it out of my system without causing strain on our relationship.”
“I’m not ready to talk about this, Grayson. I can’t.” I shook my head and wiped my watered eyes. “I can’t do this right now, not today. Please, I need to be alone.”
Grayson marched up the stairs with his head down. I couldn’t watch him gather his overnight bag and leave the property. Instead I went out into the sunroom and buried my face in a pillow. Some things were better left unsaid, at least until I could figure out what to do in response. I needed time, and possibly a divorce attorney. My gut feeling was to end my marriage, but I knew in time I’d miss him. After being married to someone I felt was my soul-mate, I wasn’t ready to throw it away for an affair. I was too strong to give up what I had, especially after losing so much. I could have given him more attention. I could have been more understanding when it came to his needs. Instead I’d pushed him away, thinking he didn’t mind. I wondered how many nights he wished he were away from me? It hurt now to think about. In some ways maybe I had pushed him right into her arms.
While bawling my eyes out, I focused on the good in my life – our daughter. She was a perfect example of the love our family represented. I wanted to go back to a time where we were all so happy and have a do-over, because I knew no matter how hard I tried I’d never get the image of him f*cking Kyla out of my mind.
Chapter 3
Grayson
“You heard what I said, Kyla. It was a mistake. I never should have gotten involved with you. I’ve ruined my marriage and possibly the relationship I have with my daughter. I need you to understand this and move on.” I felt like a father scorning his child for making a mistake. The idea of it made me sick inside. I’d watched this girl grow into a young woman, never once assuming she’d get involved with me. Sure, I found her attractive. I wasn’t living in a cave. Lots of people were attractive. That didn’t mean I wanted to sleep with them.
When Kyla first came onto me it was out of the blue. My daughter had been visiting and she’d spent the night with her. That next morning, when my daughter had to head back to school, Kyla slept in. My wife left for work shortly after and I didn’t have to be in the office until a few hours later.
“I thought we cared about each other,” she whined through the phone.
“I do care about you, but not like you want me to. You’ve been a part of our lives for a long time. You’re a good girl, but you’ve made a bad choice. We both have. This has to stop. I love my wife, Kyla. That’s never been a question for me. This was always a temporary situation.”
I could hear her sobs on the opposite end of the phone. “I feel used.”
“I’m sorry for that. I wish I could say I wasn’t a selfish man. Clearly I am. I took advantage of your generosity and got comfortable. I made decisions without considering the repercussions. Now I’ve got to figure out how to make things right. It’s best if you steer clear of our house. I can’t see you anymore, and I certainly don’t want you around Rachel. She’s been hurt enough. That woman has bent over backwards to do things for you. We’ve taken you on vacation with us. She loved you. I’m not the only one who broke her heart today.”