Bereft (Seven Year Itch #2)(46)
Grayson was still trying to win me back. He’d sent flowers, tickets to concerts, and even invited me over for dinner. I always declined on account of being so busy with work. I wasn’t lying about it. I was swamped. Being the CEO of Leviathan Agency was hard work. Chad had been right about it consuming my time.
I guess that’s why our situation worked for us. We were always around each other, so when it came time for a break we didn’t have to look far for a companion. Though we did our best to hide our secret affair, I knew several co-workers were catching on something was happening between us. At first it bothered me. I’d always been happy to talk about my marriage and my wonderful husband. The idea of admitting it had failed broke my heart. When people asked about Grayson I’d simply reply he was fine, as if we were still happily together. I couldn’t bring myself to shed light on the truth; we were separated and headed for divorce.
I looked out the glass windows of my office at the full office of employees. Twenty had returned to their old positions. The rest decided to move on to something new. The transition was going successfully without any huge hiccups. For the most part, Chad managed the new entity, while my whole focus was on the agency. Weekly we’d have a meeting with the managers, but aside from that we had different jobs with different companies.
I think it helped us get along. Chad wanted nothing to do with the agency, and because I could run it with my eyes closed, it was never necessary to involve him with concerns.
Charles hadn’t been in the office in two weeks. I missed seeing his old butt walking around and stealing candy from people’s desks. He’d been known to stand around and talk until he emptied some co-workers jars. I think they got a kick out of it, because almost everyone had something out on display.
Chad told me they were planning on throwing a big shindig, but I hadn’t received the details yet. When I got the mail delivery for the day I saw a fancy envelope I knew was an invitation, so I opened it first. Imagine my surprise when I found it wasn’t the invitation for Charles’ party, but one for a couples retreat with Grayson. I read over it five times, noticing it was located in the Poconos of Pennsylvania. He’d gone above and beyond on this attempt. Grayson and I had spent our honeymoon in the Poconos. He wanted to take us back to that special place to try to reconnect. The problem was, I didn’t know if I wanted to get back what we had.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved being married. Grayson was a good husband, up until he slept with Kyla. Since I’d been seeing Chad I kept myself preoccupied, but sometimes at night, as I lay next to him, I wished Grayson was the person beside me. I missed him.
For the rest of the day I kept the invitation out of my mind. It wasn’t until I went back to Chad’s apartment when I began thinking about it again.
Chad had ordered us Chinese. We sat at the kitchen island eating out of the boxes. “How was your day?” He asked in between chews.
“Busy. I got an invitation for a couples retreat from Grayson.”
His brows raised. “Wow. Did you respond?”
“No. Why would I?” I wanted to know why Chad would even ask.
“Because he’s still your husband and you have residual feelings for him. Maybe some time together would help you make your mind up.”
“My mind up? I thought I already had.”
“It’s not how I see it. Rach, you’re still in love with him.”
I don’t know why talking about this made me uncomfortable. Chad was always open with me. We were friends, yet I felt like it was something more; something stronger. “He was my husband. Of course I have feelings for him.”
“It’s more than that, and in case you’ve forgotten, you’re still married.”
“On paper.”
“Legally,” he added.
“So, you think I should have a weekend away with him? What good would it do?”
He sat his box down and used a napkin to wipe his lips. “It will either give you closure, or a second chance to make it work. Being in limbo isn’t anyway to live your life. You and I both know you haven’t seen a divorce lawyer. There’s a reason for that.”
I wanted to ask him about us. I wanted to talk about how I’d felt while staying with him for almost a month. I wanted to talk to him about our relationship, because there obvious was something happening between us, but Chad acted oblivious. “I think you’re wrong. I don’t want to be alone with Grayson.”
“It’s a couple days out of your life. What can it hurt?”
He had a point. If I didn’t want Grayson it would be closure. If my heart was still torn at least I’d stop wondering. I think the biggest hurdle for me was the fact that Chad didn’t seem annoyed. He was pushing me to go, which made me feel like I meant nothing to him. To test out the theory, I decided to go ahead and give Grayson a couple days. I didn’t have to be intimate to spend time with him. It was just a weekend. “Fine. I’ll tell him I’ll go.”
“I think you’ll figure out what you want to do, Rach. Don’t you want to make a final decision?”
I shrugged. “I suppose it’s time.”
Chad agreed and headed into the bedroom to shower, leaving me alone with the rest of my food. I waited until I heard him go into the bathroom to pull out my phone and message Grayson. I don’t know why I felt so torn, but I knew I was about to figure it out.