Before You (Before You #1)(65)

“Either, both.”

“During seemed to go well. I don’t have much experience, you know,” Bre said, and then she lowered her voice to a whisper. “The after part, I would say that didn’t go so well.”

“When did this happen?”

“The first time?”

“There was more than one time?” Sara’s voice was high and alarmed.

“Yes.”

“Aubrey Keaton. You better tell me when.”

“Last weekend when he delivered Cam’s plane ticket.” Bre ran her fingers nervously through the yarn dangling from the edge of the blanket

“Wow, okay. I’m not sure how to respond to that. It seems wrong to deliver a plane ticket to someone’s despondent girlfriend and then have sex with her.”

Inexplicably, Bre felt fiercely protective of Jax at that moment despite everything that had happened between them earlier. “It wasn’t Jax’s fault. I had too much to drink, and he tried to push me away, but I was persistent. Technically, Cam and I weren’t together.”

“Okay. So then you slept with him again? When did this happen?”

Sickened by the confession on the tip of her tongue, she momentarily regretted telling Sara the truth. Just picturing the words falling out of her mouth to describe the encounter in the conference room caused a red blush to stain her cheeks. She knew it wasn’t her finest moment, but actually saying the words to Sara made it seem more vulgar than the act alone.

When Bre didn’t respond, Sara prompted her to continue. “Come on, Bre. It can’t be that bad. Most people do things they’re ashamed of. It’s about time you joined the club. Besides, you were becoming too saintly on that pedestal all alone.” Sara laughed lightheartedly.

“Fine. We had sex tonight at the charity event in some empty conference room in the hotel,” Bre spat out before she changed her mind and hung up the phone. She needed to get this off her chest.

“Holy crap! Are you serious?” she breathed. “Good god, Bre. I didn’t think you had it in you. I’m impressed, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.”

“Well, thanks, I guess. I’m starting to realize that you think I’m really boring.”

“Not boring, just predictable. When there’s a choice between doing something for you or someone else, you always make the choice that’s best for others. It’s nice to see that you aren’t a robot after all and you actually make impulsive decisions.”

“I don’t think you’re cheering me up. That’s your point, right?”

“In a round about way, yes. I just want you to see that you can reach out and grab what makes you happy sometimes. Of course it’s nice to think about others, but it’s okay to do things for yourself, too. Doing the right thing for you is sometimes the right thing for other people too, even if it hurts them a little.”

“Theoretically, I understand that, but usually when the time comes to grab something I want, I start to feel guilty.” Bre held her breath for a minute and then she let it out in an exaggerated exhalation. “I don’t ever want to be like her. She doesn’t care about anyone.”

“You could never be like her. Stop living your life trying to be her antithesis. Live your life being you.”

Bre laughed. “I guess I’m not worried about being like her when I’m with Jax. I’m just me.”

“And how do you feel when you’re Cam?”

“Like we have a bunch of baggage weighing us down, and when I say that, I don’t mean just our recent issues. He went through so many of my childhood problems with me, and sometimes that’s a little overwhelming. When I’m around Cam, I feel as if I’m stuck and unable to grow as a person. It’s stifling and comfortable at the same time.” She let out a shaky sigh, staring unseeing at the dark television set hanging on Cam’s wall. “Does that make me crazy? Wanting to hold onto my past and run away from it at the same time.”

“No. That makes sense.” There was a long silence. “So what are you going to do? Are you going to tell Cam?”

“I wasn’t, but now, I think it’s only fair. I owe it to him to be honest. I feel like I can’t stand being in my own skin with all these lies hanging over me.” When Sara didn’t comment, Bre said, “What is it, Sara? I know you’re holding back. It’s not like you to be so silent.”

“Do you think Cam has always been faithful?”

“I have no reason to believe otherwise,” Bre said immediately.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Sara, what aren’t you saying?”

“I don’t know, Bre. I know you and Cam have known each other for a long time, and in your mind, you guys are totally honest about everything, but I wouldn’t be judging yourself too harshly about what happened with Jax. There have been plenty of rumors about Cam. Nobody has ever said anything to your face, but I’ve heard things, and while everything may not be true, that doesn’t mean there isn’t any truth in them.”

Bre pushed herself into a seated position on the sofa and braced her head with one of her hands. “What did you hear?” Her voice was hoarse.

“Well, I heard Mia bragging that they hook up when she goes to his gigs.”