Before You (Before You #1)(63)



From the low black sofa in the living room, he stared out at the bright, flickering lights of West Hollywood as he drained the glass of whiskey, eager for it to chase the dull pain in his chest away and drive out the melancholy thoughts wrapping around his mind.

Slowly he replayed each and every moment of his encounter with Bre earlier that night, searching for any hint of how he’d overestimated Bre’s feelings for him. When she capitulated to his advances in that room, he was sure she was his. He could still see the look in her eyes, every expression that danced across her face when she murmured his name and professed that she loved being with him. He never even considered for a moment she would still be hung up on Cam when she was so responsive to him. He thought she was finally ready to acknowledge that they had something she would never have with Cam.

Three hours and nearly a half a bottle of whiskey later, all he could come up with were endless memories and shared moments that would have prompted him to bet his entire trust fund on her being in love with him and wanting to be with him, not Cam.

Letting the now empty bottle of whiskey drop to the floor, he leaned his head back, letting it rest on the top of the sofa while he stared absently at the ceiling, hoping for numbness and sleep to take over. Instead, he replayed the last few months. The little touches they shared when he knew Cam wasn’t looking, the pleasure in her eyes when he showed up unexpectedly the night before the grand opening of her art gallery, the relief and gratitude when he held her hand the entire day she buried her grandmother, the feel of her lips against his, her confession that she was jealous when he danced with Anna.

Several times he considered texting her to convince her that they belonged together. Each time he smothered the thought. His pride wouldn’t let him beg her again. If she wanted him, she would have to come to him this time. And if she didn’t, then he would have to live with her choice. Making sure that they rarely saw each other would be easy enough. He had already told Cam he was done covering for him, so that wouldn’t be an issue anymore. Erasing her face, the feel of her skin and scent of her hair from his memory would be an entirely different matter.

His doorbell rang and he ignored it. Just as his eyes drifted closed, the doorbell rang again, repeatedly. Very few people knew where he lived. In fact, he could count the number of people who knew where he lived on one hand, his mom and dad, Cam, Katie, Alec, and Marc.

When he realized he couldn’t block out of the sound of the doorbell sufficiently to fall asleep, he finally got up and flung the door wide open.

“Whoever you are,” he said, stumbling against the doorjamb, the effect of the whiskey hitting him full force, “this better be important.”

“Hey, Jax. You’re wrecked,” Cam said.

“Not quite, but I was well on my way until you so rudely interrupted me. Why didn’t you use your key instead of making me get up?”

“It’s on my key chain in Bre’s purse. My car’s stuck at the hotel.”

“What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

“Really? And here I was hoping now that you saw my pretty face, you would turn around and go home,” Jax responded flippantly. He noticed Cam looking over his shoulder. “Look, Cam. I’ll save you the trouble. Anna isn’t here. Now leave. I’m not in the mood for company.”

“Do you know where she is? She isn’t answering her phone.”

“Are you serious? Cam, I already told you I’m done with this shit. Get your act together. Pick a girl or don’t. I don’t care. Just leave me out of it.”

“I know, man. I’m sorry,” Cam said, walking past Jax and stretching out on the sofa.

Jax slammed the door and sat down. “I guess that means you plan to stay for a while.”

“Jax, what the hell is your problem? I’m sorry I exploded on you about Anna earlier. When I saw her hanging all over you on the dance floor, I didn’t think. I know you would never go behind my back. It just seemed as if you two were purposely trying to piss me off.”

“Remind me again why you wanted me to bring Anna. It’s a little sadistic to have both Anna and Bre at the same table, don’t you think?”

“I know, right? What the f*ck was I thinking?” Cam said, shaking his head. “Anna talked me into it. I think she wanted to meet Bre. You know women, they’re always trying scout the competition.”

“You weren’t thinking. That seems like a theme with you lately.” Jax propped his feet on the coffee table.

Both men sat silently on the couch, not talking.

After a few minutes, Cam turned his head in Jax’s direction. “Alec said Bre left early. He said she didn’t feel good or something. Do you know if anything happened? Did Anna… say anything to her?” Cam looked out the window while tugging on the cuff of his shirt. “I don’t want to walk into my house only to get blindsided by some accusations.”

“Yes, Bre left early. Anna wasn’t very friendly, but she didn’t say anything to make Bre suspicious, or at least Bre didn’t share anything with me. Have you talked to Bre?”

“No, I haven’t heard from her. I’m not looking forward to going home. This weekend hasn’t turned out so well.”

“If you spent more than five minutes with her, it would help.”

“I know. Anna keeps sucking my time.” Cam rubbed his temples. “It’s as though she purposely tries to draw my attention away from Bre. I don’t know why I let her do it. She creates such a whirlwind of drama around her, it’s hard to keep everything in perspective.”

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