Before You (Before You #1)(69)
“Mm… Jax?” she questioned with confused eyes.
“You were asleep. I’ll carry you into my house. Close your eyes.”
She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Then, she tensed and her eyes flew open. “Did you pay the driver?”
He smiled. “I did. Now go to sleep.”
“I need my things.”
“It’s taken care of.”
She placed her hand on the side of his face. “We need to talk, Jax, I’m so sorry for what happened tonight at the hotel. I didn’t mean to push you away. I was scared.”
“Shh. We can talk in the morning,” Jax replied as he balanced her with one hand and opened and then closed his front door with the other after the driver dropped Bre’s luggage in the entryway.
“No. I broke up with Cam for good. I told him about us.”
Jax tensed at her words. If Cam knew about them, it wouldn’t be long before Cam barged into his house. He wanted time alone with Bre before he crossed that bridge. “You told him about me?”
“Yes. I mean no. I told him that I had been with someone else. I didn’t tell him it was you. I didn’t think I owed him that information after everything that he’s done.”
“What do you mean?” Jax questioned as he laid her down gently on his bed. He pulled off her shoes, sat down on the bed next to her, and soothingly stroked her hair.
“Jax, why didn’t you tell me?”
His hand stilled momentarily and then he threaded his fingers with hers. “Tell you what?”
“You know what I’m talking about. Why didn’t you tell me about all the women? About Cam cheating on me? I know you knew.” Bre hiccupped.
“Oh, Bre,” he said, shaking his head. “It wasn’t my story to tell.”
“But all this time I’ve been wallowing in guilt, and you could have prevented it.”
Jax looked away for a few seconds. “Bre, you don’t know how many times it was on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t want to you to be with me out of revenge or even worse, be your second choice. I knew you would figure it out eventually if you opened you eyes and evaluated the relationship now rather than through the lens of your childhood.”
“Everyone knew except me. Oh God, I’m so pathetic,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands in abject embarrassment.”
He pulled her hands away from her face. “No. Trusting Cam doesn’t make you pathetic. It makes you kind and loyal. It’s Cam who looks pathetic. You gave him the gift of trust, which is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. It shows a person that you believe they’re worth the risk to your heart and he threw it away for a bunch of meaningless one night stands.”
Bre sat up on the bed, placed her hand on Jax’s cheek, and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thanks, Jax. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.”
Jax smiled solemnly as his hand reached for the side of her head, then curved around to the base of her neck. “And I’m lucky to have you.” In the lengthening quiet of the dimly lit room, they both remained completely frozen with the exception of Jax’s thumb, that brushed up and down her neck in light, sensual strokes. Both of them clearly recognized that the next few minutes would define the rest of their relationship. Jax knew with complete clarity that this was the first moment that belonged to them alone. It wasn’t stolen or rushed, and she was no longer Cam’s girl. She was Bre—the one woman he had wanted to possess from the first moment she walked into that bar months ago, and she was looking at him with absolute devotion.
When he leaned in to kiss her, his eyes hooded with longing, she turned her head to the side, and he tenderly grabbed her chin, forcing her look at him. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t understand it, but for some reason I’m more nervous about being with you now than ever before.” Her voice was unsteady and her eyes were wide with something that resembled panic.
“I won’t force you. This decision needs to be yours. I think you know what I want, what I have wanted for a long time.”
“I’m still afraid,” she stammered, trying to look away again, but he wouldn’t let her.
“Of what?”
Sighing, she looked into his sincere gray eyes. “That you won’t want me when you have me or that you’ll realize that I’m nothing special and you could find someone better. I mean, look at you! You have women throwing themselves at you all the time, and it’s only going to get worse, because everyone knows that Chasing Ruin is going to be signed to a record label any day now. When that happens, I would be holding you back. I’m just a girl from a small town. You’ll need someone who can be that special person for you.”
“Don’t you get it? You are that special person for me. Every time I came to visit you or spent time with you, it wasn’t for Cam. It was an excuse to be with you, to have you in my life. You could never hold me back. Having you by my side would be an honor and don’t ever tell yourself otherwise. I wanted you from the moment I saw you.” Jax leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips, then pulled back to study her reaction.
“I wanted you, too. You know that, right?”
Jax nodded. “You have me,” he murmured huskily.
“What am I going to tell Cam?”