Baby Doll(69)
Abby couldn’t believe he was still here. After all the horrible things she’d said and done to him, he was here. A contraction crashed into her, and Abby closed her eyes. This pain was almost welcome. She wanted to say something, to make him understand why she did the things she did. How it had nothing to do with him. Instead, she took his hand in hers and held on for dear life.
“Don’t leave me, okay? You won’t leave me?”
“Not a chance.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
LILY
Breathe, Abs. I know it hurts, but if you breathe, it’s not as bad.” Lily was coaching Abby, calmly clutching her hand, wiping her sweaty forehead, and feeding her ice chips. “You’re so brave. So brave.”
The contraction passed and Abby laughed. “I’m in one of the top hospitals in the state with the best doctors and lots of drugs, which I will be demanding very soon, and you’re calling me brave? That is crazy.”
Lily took the wet cloth and wiped Abby’s brow again. Wes had gone to check on Sky and their mom, or at least that was the excuse he’d given her. Lily was pretty sure he knew they needed some time alone. Now it was just the two of them, waiting for Abby’s baby to arrive.
“I can think you’re brave if I want to. You can’t stop me.”
Abby smiled but then quickly sobered. “When you had Sky… how hard… how did you do it?”
Lily was quiet. The day Sky was born was the day Lily was reborn. Lily knew when the baby kicked that something was changing, not only physically, but emotionally. Her desire to survive blossomed with each passing month. She’d still challenge Rick, refuse some of his wishes, but her recklessness lessened. It made her reassess everything. If he wanted an obedient doll, that’s what she would become.
The day Sky was born, Rick had left for an annual teachers’ conference in New York. In the middle of the week, in the middle of the night, her contractions began, slamming into her body, the pain overwhelming her. After eleven agonizing hours, her water broke. Lily remembered the moment so clearly.
“The pain was nothing. In fact, I welcomed it, because I knew I wouldn’t be alone anymore. I kept pushing and crying and telling her I was ready for her. When she landed on the bed of blankets and towels I’d arranged, she cried so loudly. It was the first human sound I’d heard—other than his voice—in so long. Her eyes were so wise and knowing. It sounds crazy now, because she was this innocent little baby, but she’d been sent to keep me going.”
Abby squeezed Lily’s hand. “You are the brave one, Lilypad. You’re so f*cking brave.”
Lily smiled, wiping the tears from Abby’s cheeks. “We’re twins. It’s genetic.”
They were quiet then, Abby doing her Lamaze breathing, Lily rubbing Abby’s back, feeding her more ice chips, coaching her.
As the night wore on, Wes returned, taking a spot on the other side of Abby. It should have been awkward, the three of them in one room, all the history between them. Instead, they took turns coaching Abby, calming and soothing her nerves. At dawn, the contractions increased, and the doctors and nurses descended. It was time.
Lily and Wes held Abby’s hands, her breathing ragged and shallow as she pushed and pushed, screaming and crying and begging for it to be over. She’d refused the drugs. Abby insisted on being clearheaded for this. The baby arrived, just as the sun peered over the horizon. He was wailing loudly, his tiny body contorting as the doctors tended to him.
“It’s a boy, Abby. It’s a baby boy,” Lily said.
Wes wiped furiously at his eyes, smiling so brightly he could have powered New York City.
Abby stared at the baby, and Lily recognized that overwhelming look of love, a love that surpassed all else. Lily realized that at last they were identical yet again, connected by something wonderful. They were both mothers.
The doctor placed the newborn on Abby’s chest. Wes leaned down to kiss the baby. Then he kissed Abby so tenderly Lily thought her heart might break. For a moment, Lily hated her sister with everything in her being. She hated that Abby was fortunate enough to deliver a child in this warm, safe hospital room surrounded by love. She hated herself for hating her sister. She hated a world in which this child might one day be a victim of some sick freak. Lily forced herself to shake off the darkness. He’d programmed this into her, day by day. But here she had a choice—let those feelings overcome her, or fight to keep them at bay.
She kissed Abby and the baby, gave Wes a quick congratulatory hug, and then Lily left the hospital room. She’d told them both that she wanted to see Eve, to let her know that she had a healthy, adorable grandson. But really, Lily needed distance. She needed to see Sky, to remind herself of all the progress they’d made. Abby, Wes, and their baby were a family now. The jealousy still remained, but Lily would fight to overcome it. She had Sky. Sky was her family. That was enough. It had to be enough.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
ABBY
He was real. Seven pounds, three ounces, with a pair of lungs that could break the sound barrier. He wasn’t an alien invader. Not anymore. He was so damn real and breathtakingly gorgeous Abby almost couldn’t bear it. She didn’t want to love him. She’d tried so hard not to love him. Life would be easier if she didn’t. Life would be easier if she never loved anyone ever again.