Baby Doll(65)

Dr. Amari was working with Lily, trying to prepare her for the day when Sky would go to school, something she constantly talked about. Dr. Amari stressed the importance of allowing Sky to have a real childhood, which meant interacting with children Sky’s age. Lily wasn’t ready to send Sky to school, but she hoped that one day soon she would be.

Initially, Lily dreaded her sessions with Dr. Amari, but slowly, she began to look forward to them. If Lily wanted to spend forty-five minutes talking about how much she hated driving by the high school, Dr. Amari let her. Lily found herself opening up more and more about Rick’s “training,” about her sadness over the death of her father, and her worry about what Abby had been through. She still never mentioned her feelings about Wes.

Some days she wished he’d just go away. Just walk out the front door and never come back. She knew that was wrong, especially when he treated them so well. Sometimes he’d stop and drop off dinner; other times he’d bring ice cream from Friendly’s. Lily might have been uncomfortable around Wes, but Sky adored him. He gave her piggyback rides and told her outrageous fairy tales that made Sky giggle uncontrollably. Lily reveled in those joyous moments. She’d taken a ridiculous amount of pictures and video on the cell phone she’d gotten for Christmas, recording all those “normal kid” things so she could review them later. Sometimes, Lily would lie awake for hours on end, staring at those images, freeze-framing them as if she might forever capture that happiness and remind herself she’d done something right. But inevitably, Lily would find her gaze drifting over to Wes, watching his dimpled smile and effortless nature. She’d force herself to shut off the video or leave the room, determined to forget about Wes and any fantasy that he would ever be hers.

As spring made its arrival, Lily grew stronger. She’d also gotten a new pair of running shoes for Christmas, and while she wouldn’t run alone, sometimes Mom would come along with her or she’d recruit Trisha to go for a run. She spent a lot of time staring at the garden, hating to see it so neglected. Something in Lily stirred, a desire to restore the yard to its former glory. She realized how strange it was, considering how much she’d resented her father’s devotion to the garden. He’d spend hours and hours on his days off, wearing his ratty U Penn med school T-shirt and shorts, his stupid gardening hat tilted to the side, digging and pulling weeds while educating the girls on the best times for planting. But now, Lily could pass hours in the sun, the moist dirt in her hands, the space transforming day by day. With her hands working the soil, she’d find herself feeling closer and closer to Dad, often waking up at dawn to pull up weeds or begin planting blooms and vegetables.

Lily loved being outside during the day, soaking up the sun. It was only at night that Lily began to see shadows that weren’t there, to hear noises that weren’t real. She knew it was irrational. She’d been kidnapped in broad daylight, but all those years in darkness had taken their toll.

It was one of those gorgeous spring days that Lily decided to stay home while Abby, Mom, and Sky went into Philly to do some shopping. Lily had been determined to plant her remaining tulip bulbs and had sent them off with her blessing. It was almost six o’clock that evening when Abby called.

“Lilypad, there’s a total cluster on the highway. We’ll be at least another hour. Maybe two.”

Lily tried to fight her rising panic, staring at the sun as it began to sink into the horizon.

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Abby asked.

Lily hadn’t told anyone about this irrational fear of the dark, even Abby. Considering everything she’d endured, it seemed almost silly.

“I’m fine, Abs. Drive safe, and tell Sky that Mommy loves and misses her.”

Lily hung up the phone and went back to work. Her hands dug into the dirt, but they were shaking, her breathing coming out in rapid spurts. She could feel her panic growing and she kept glancing out at the street, worried that Rick or some other unknown evil might choose tonight to take her away from all of this. She couldn’t take it anymore. Lily grabbed her phone and dialed.

“Wes, it’s Lily. I know it’s dumb, but it’s getting dark, and Mom and Sky and Abby got stuck in traffic, and I’m… I can’t be alone. I was just wondering…”

She didn’t even finish her sentence.

“I’m wrapping things up here at work. I’ll swing by in ten.”

She’d known that he would come. He’d do anything for Abby and, by extension, anything for Lily.

Wes arrived ten minutes later on the dot, still wearing his coat and tie. Lily had learned that Wes had his own real estate business, buying and selling fixer-uppers. He stripped off his necktie and jacket, rolled up his shirtsleeves, and clapped his hands, gesturing to the remaining bulbs waiting to be planted.

“Come on, don’t make me feel useless,” Wes said.

“Let’s just call it a night. I’ll finish up tomorrow.”

“No way. We’ve got a job to do.”

He picked up a tulip bulb, cradling it in his palm. Lily pointed out the order she wanted, and he followed her instructions, carefully organizing the flowers in long rows. He was calm, his brow furrowing as he planted. Lily finished her batch and then sat back on her heels. He turned and caught her staring at him.

“What is it? Am I doing something wrong?”