Baby Doll(35)

“I’ll check on her when we’re done. Please, let’s keep going.”

Dr. Zaretsky resumed her questioning. “When did you realize that you were pregnant?”

“Two years, three months, and twenty-four days from the first day he took me. I realized my body was changing, and I was sure when Rick figured it out, he’d kill the baby. I kept hoping the thing inside me would die before he discovered the truth. I couldn’t imagine that he would ever be okay sharing me with someone, even an innocent child. I was so convinced that he would kill my baby that I started thinking of ways to kill it first. And then a few days later, she kicked. I knew she was a girl in that instant. And I loved her more than I’d ever loved anyone or anything. That love made me strong. It made me want to fight to survive. I knew if he hurt this child, I would fight him. I would fight him until he had to kill me. When my baby came along, she was all that mattered.”

“And when Rick discovered you were pregnant, how did he react to the news?” Dr. Zaretsky asked gently.

“I’d braced myself, expected him to lose it. I’ve never been so scared in my life. But when I told him, he smiled the smile that left all the girls giddy and had the teachers and moms gossiping about whether or not his marriage was happy. He kissed me, and then he kissed my belly. ‘Don’t you see, Baby Doll?’ he’d said. ‘I told you we were meant to be together. This proves it.’”

“And he never hurt you during the pregnancy? He never assaulted you or tried to harm the fetus?” Dr. Zaretsky asked.

“No. Not once. The abuse… the rapes continued after Sky was born, but our lives during my pregnancy almost passed for normal. He treated me like a princess, buying baby books and new clothes and an occasional toy. He kept suggesting names, but I already knew what I’d call her. It was what I’d missed most locked inside that room. When she was born, she became my Sky. My entire world.”

“Lily, did he ever hurt Sky? Was there ever any abuse? Physical or…?”

“No. Never. He never touched her. I wouldn’t let him. He didn’t…”

She needed them to know she had protected her daughter, that she had done Rick’s bidding to ensure Sky’s safety.

“Whenever Rick wanted ‘alone time,’ I’d put Sky to bed. It was a closet. It was small and tiny but separate. That lock on the closet door wasn’t his idea. That lock was for me. It was my salvation. She never tried to open it, never came out when I told her that Daddy and Mommy needed grown-up time. I know it sounds strange, that he wouldn’t force himself on me, that he didn’t do things to me with her there, but in some strange way, he respected his relationship with Sky. I don’t think those feelings would have lasted. I’m almost certain of it. But in his own way, Rick loved her and treated her like any other doting father would treat his daughter.”

“But he still abused you physically and sexually while Sky was locked in that closet?” Dr. Zaretsky said, her expression not betraying what a horrible question she was asking.

“I kept her safe. You have to believe me when I tell you that.”

“Lily, we know you’re a good mother. We’re not questioning that. But we need to know if Sky had any awareness about what was going on. Did she ever question what was happening? Did she hear you crying or calling out for help?”

“No, okay! No! After a while, you learn… you learn not to cry or scream. But he would have come for her. Not right away, but in a few years, when her body began to change, when she got breasts and hips, when she began to look like the younger, prettier version of me. I could tell he was losing interest. My body was changing. My face. I wasn’t a child anymore. And I was so scared, because it didn’t matter what he did to me. I had accepted that my body wasn’t my own. But Sky… the thought of him hurting her that way would have ruined me. And then yesterday he finally screwed up. He finally screwed up.”

“Why do you think, after all these years, he left that lock undone?” Dr. Zaretsky asked.

“I don’t know. He always thought he was smarter than the entire world. That he had fooled everyone. He was so proud of the fact that he lived this double life. That he could have me and Missy and the respect of the entire community. And I think he never thought I’d disobey him. He spent so long training me, he couldn’t imagine that I would ever go against him. But he was wrong.”

Lily exhaled, hoping she was done, hoping she’d told them enough. But the questions continued for several more hours. They’d wanted more details about exactly what Rick did to her, so many details. Horrible, endless questions about their life together, about the cabin, about Rick’s life with his wife, whether Lily thought she knew. The answer was no; God, she hoped it was no. When they were done, Lily leaned back in her chair. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d been more exhausted.

“We may have more questions later, but we’re done for today. You’re a very brave woman to have survived what you’ve survived. I feel honored to have met you. You’re a real hero.”

Lily blinked, feeling uncomfortable with those words. If anyone had seen how pathetic she’d been at times in that cabin, how weak she was, no one would have called her a hero.

Dr. Zaretsky and Agent Stevens both shook her hand.

“If I have any more questions, I hope we can contact you,” Agent Stevens said.