Baby Doll(34)

Lily took a quick breath but kept going. “I knew he was serious the minute he said he loved me. The minute he dragged me into his sick and twisted dungeon, I knew with all my heart he meant what he said. When I woke up, I didn’t know where I was. The basement was so dark and cold. He said this was our new home. He’d handcuffed me to the bed, completely naked. He told me I would be reborn. That my training would begin. I spent months cuffed to that bed. He didn’t unchain me until he decided I’d made appropriate progress. Until I agreed with him, convinced him that we were meant to be together. Six months chained to that bed. Six months!”

Lily could feel Abby trembling beside her and she wished she’d listened to Agent Stevens when she’d said no family was allowed. But it was too late now. Lily wasn’t thirsty, but she gulped water down, needing a moment to gather her thoughts. The training, what really went on in the training, she could never discuss with anyone. She wasn’t sure she could even put into words what she’d endured. Her only escape from his demands, from the brutality he inflicted upon her, was remembering the people she loved. No matter what Rick did, he could not steal her memories.

When he came for her, Lily retreated to the past, replaying her spectacular moments like they were her favorite films. Her eighth birthday when Abby shook her awake, the two of them rushing downstairs to find chocolate chip pancakes on the table and brand-new matching pink bicycles in the driveway. The summer night before seventh grade, lying on the grass with Abby, the two of them singing off-key to the Wicked soundtrack—“Defying Gravity” their favorite—as they traded who would sing Glinda and Elphaba, and chronicling their celebrity crushes. The homecoming dance, her gold dress and matching shoes causing a sensation among all her friends, and seeing Wes’s face light up as he spun her around the dance floor. As time went on, the things Rick did to her were not things she cataloged; they were opportunities to return to her family. Rick had destroyed her future, but Lily controlled her past. But she knew she had to tell them something, that they couldn’t build a case on the memories that had helped Lily survive. She took a deep breath.

“Rick liked inflicting pain. He liked knowing that you were in pain, but his power was making you endure that pain without complaint. Pretending that you enjoyed and could withstand whatever he dreamt up. Days passed. Weeks. Months. I’d etch a mark on the floorboard with my nails, tracking how long I was trapped there in that godforsaken room. I covered it with books so he wouldn’t see, but every day I looked at those marks, charting how long he’d kept me locked away. And my family kept me going. Mom… Dad.” Lily’s voice cracked when she spoke of her father, but she ignored it.

“I thought about Abby and my boyfriend, Wes. Some days I imagined that Wes was going to burst through the door and beat up Mr. Hanson and carry me out of that hole, like a superhero. I kept praying that Wes would be the one to save me.”

Lily blinked back her tears. Wes had been the perfect boyfriend. The gentle way he’d held her, his tender, passionate kisses, nothing demanding or sinister in his embrace. He was everything Rick wasn’t, and when Lily wasn’t thinking about Abby or her parents, her thoughts always turned to Wes. He’d given her something pure and innocent to focus on when things were darkest.

But she hadn’t asked about him. She didn’t want to know what Wes was doing now. It was easier to pretend that he was just a figment of her imagination than to imagine that he’d moved on without her. But when Lily glanced over at Abby, she realized that something was wrong. Her sister was trembling uncontrollably and clutching her stomach. Lily had a devastating thought.

“Wes isn’t… He’s not…?” Lily tried to speak. “He’s alive? Rick, he didn’t…”

What if he was dead? What if Rick had punished him because he loved Lily too?

“Abby, is Wes okay?”

“Yes. Wes is alive, Lil. He’s… fine…”

Relief coursed through Lily’s body. Maybe she’d see him again. Maybe he’d drop everything and tell her how much he’d missed her.

Lily, you’re the one. I’ve been waiting for you all this time.

She realized that everyone was staring at her, and she forced herself to ignore those silly schoolgirl thoughts.

“Once I realized I was never getting away, that no one was coming to rescue me, that I would never see my parents or Wes or Abby, I decided that I would make Rick angry enough to kill me. I wanted him to beat me to death. Or strangle me. I knew he was capable of it. Other days, I thought about killing myself, but it was like he could read my mind. He made it clear that if I were gone, he would need a replacement. He reminded me each day, every moment we spent together, that he was lucky. I had a spare and he would take her if I were gone.”

Abby let out a gasp, startling everyone in the room. Lily clutched Abby’s hands.

“No… oh my God, Lily. No.”

“He already had me, Abs. I couldn’t stand the thought of him taking you too. I couldn’t stand it.”

Abby stood up, clutching her stomach.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this… I’m so sorry, Lil.”

Abby burst out of the room, running past Sky and Mom, who looked startled. “We can stop now. If you want…” Dr. Zaretsky said. Lily wanted to make sure Abby was okay, but she had to finish this.