Always a Maiden (The Belles of Beak Street #5)(51)

The air was knocked out of her, and she gasped. Her father’s plan to see his title revived and his descendants retain his rank and title would be for naught. She drew herself up and said stiffly, “My mother never tried to avoid having children. She would have given my father a son if she could have carried another baby for nine months.”

“That’s too bad,” said Lord Farringate.

Susanah was too stunned and too well trained to point out that he didn’t need to grace her bed if he didn’t want more children. But what would she have to live for if not children or at least a household to manage?

They were nearing the place where she and Evan had shared their last night together. It was another blow to her fragile heart. If she cared nothing for family and future, she could have married him. But the escape promised by Lord Farringate had seemed more important. Only there wouldn’t be an escape from her parents’ house. And her one hope of having children she could love would buy her resentment from her husband.

She stared at the patch of grass where she and Evan had shared sandwiches and wondered how she had got it so wrong.



*

Susanah stared in the mirror of her dressing table as her maid arranged her hair for the evening. She looked different—or perhaps she saw herself differently. Her reflection showed a complete and utter fool.

She had only a week and a day before she was irrevocably trapped in a horrible life, all to be a countess.

“Are you all right, my lady?” asked her maid.

She nodded. “I’m fine.”

She wasn’t.

“Perhaps you should have a candied almond,” her maid suggested and opened the drawer in the dressing table where the tin of almonds sat accusingly.

Susanah’s vision blurred. It took her a minute to realize her maid had left her alone. Slowly, as if it might burn her, she lifted the tin from the drawer. The metal was cool. There was no lingering warmth from Evan’s touch.

He was gone.

She hadn’t seen him in the days since she’d accepted Lord Farringate’s offer. Not once. She knew what he would say if she applied to him, but she wanted him to argue with her anyway. She wanted him to kiss her until she forgot the coil she was in. She wanted him to convince her of what she already knew. Marrying Lord Farringate was a huge mistake. She found her reticule and put the tin inside. It was a little symbol of Evan that she could carry tonight at the ball she was due to attend. Maybe he would be in attendance. Or if Lord Hull showed up, she could get word to Evan through him.

But neither of the men were present. She stared at every new arrival with hope then crushing disappointment.

“I had thought he would be here by now,” said her mother.

Susanah jumped. Her mother didn’t know she was waiting on Evan, did she?

“There he is,” she said.

Susanah swiveled to look at the door. Lord Farringate entered the room in a hurried manner tugging at his cuffs. He was alone, but then he usually was. His sister rarely attended evening entertainments, and his daughter wasn’t out, yet. Susanah looked down for a second and then pasted on a smile and lifted her head only to encounter the pitying gaze of her former fiancé, Lord Ashton. She wanted to die.

He was probably making some jest or another about her. She’d never been able to figure out when he was teasing her or being serious. Although he was much younger than Lord Farringate and well-favored, they really had been ill-suited for each other. He would be an earl one day. When she glanced back in his direction he was looking at his wife, his affection clear on his countenance.

Susanah stood up.

“Where are you going?” asked her mother. The tone was dulcet, but Susanah knew her mother would not tolerate disobedience, and she would pay later. It wouldn’t end with her marriage as she’d hoped. Did her mother know that Lord Farringate had decreed that they were to live with them? But as she studied the slight self-satisfied lift of her mother’s lips, Susanah suspected she did.

“I am off to greet my future husband.” She gave her mother a wide-eyed look. “Surely I should demonstrate my eagerness to see him.”

She wove through the crowd toward the entry way. She no more wanted to greet Lord Farringate than she wanted to ride a kelpie. Horses terrified her enough, without believing there were horses who would deliberately drown their riders. All she knew was that she had to get away. But how?

She searched the crowd desperately for a friendly face. She could appeal to Lord Hull, but she didn’t see him. Her best bet may be one of her archenemies, the belles. As she neared Lord Ashton she tilted close and asked, “Is Corabelle here?”

Her heart jumped into her throat as she waited for him to answer.

“A good evening to you, too, Lady Susanah,” he answered with a slight bow. “I doubt my sister-in-law is attending this evening.”

Corabelle had always been friendlier than her twin, but if Annabelle was the only person Susanah could ask for help, then she’d have to ask her. “I need to talk to Annabelle then. Ask me to dance in ten minutes then take me to her.”

Without waiting to see if he would do as she bid, Susanah made her way to her fiancé’s side. “Lord Farringate, how lovely to see you. We were starting to wonder if you would ever arrive.”

He turned and his glare was so malevolent, she took a half step back. But then his features shifted into a semblance of a smile, but one that left her cold and more certain she had made a terrible mistake in accepting his suit.