Addison (The Mitchell/Healy Family #6)(51)

By lunchtime I was ready to call it a day. We hadn’t had anyone come in, and the silence was making me want to bang my head against the wall.

Just as I was cleaning up my station, I heard the sound of the door jingle. I turned and saw her reflection before realizing who it was. She was standing with what I’d left on her car.

I took her by the arm and pulled her into the storage room because I could already see she was crying. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

She held up the picture. “Why did you leave this on my car?”

“You know why.”

She looked down at it again. “If it isn’t love, why does it hurt so much?”

This time she let me pull her into my arms. I held her there, so tight I’d thought she’d complain. Her sniffles let me know she wasn’t ready to talk, so I remained silent, appreciating how she wasn’t shoving me away.

“Only real love hurts like this. Trust me. I’ve been kicked around quite a bit.”

“I miss you so much. It’s killing me. I’ve been thinking about using. I won’t do it, but I’ve considered if it would be better than feeling so pitiful.”

“I don’t know how to make it better, but you have to stay strong.”

“What if I can’t?” She whined.

“Then I won’t let you out of my sight, even if I have to deal with your family.”

“They won’t let us be together, Cole. They’re adamant about it. They think you’ll drag me down. They keep reminding me how you lied, but you’re right. I wouldn’t have understood. I wouldn’t have believed what was happening between us was genuine.”

I pulled back and held her hands instead. “Look at me, Addison.” I waited until she did what I requested. “I was afraid to say it before. I knew if I took it to the next level it would kill me if I ever had to give you up. The past ten days have been torture. You’re all I think about. I want to go to sleep at night because I know you’ll be in my dreams. I don’t care what kind of hurdles I need to jump through. I want you. I’ll fight for you, because damn it, I’m tired of waiting for reasons to not love you.”

“What if they never accept you? What then?”

“I know how much family means to you. I get it. I may not understand it, but I do see how important it is. You need them and they need you, but the thing is, I need you too. I need you to remind me I can be loved.”

“I just want to go back to the way it was.” Her admission made most of the pain I’d been feeling go away, like it was magic. “No one has ever made me feel the way you do, Cole. I should have listened to you, but you hurt me. I hated how you kept it a secret. I felt like I told you everything about myself, but the most important detail about you was a secret. The fact that my dad knew before me set me off. I knew he’d never allow us to be together. I had to prepare for the worst, because losing you would complicate everything I’d worked so hard to overcome.”

“If you take me back it won’t be perfect. They’re not going to forgive me. I can’t ask you to choose.”

“I choose me, Cole. It’s not about them, or even you. It’s my choice. I want my life back, so I’m choosing me.”

I leaned forward and pressed my lips softly to hers. I interpreted this as her saying we were going to be together. For a moment in time nothing existed except the two of us. When I pulled away and opened my eyes she was staring right at me. “I’m staying in a shitty motel, but I’d like to take you there so we could talk. Do you think that would be okay?”

She shrugged. “If I go there, you and I both know what will happen. I’m just afraid I won’t be able to stop. I can’t have a rollercoaster relationship, even if I know it will make me happy. I’m sorry, Cole, but I have to go home.” She started walking away from me. “The picture is beautiful, just like you. I’ll never forget the way you made me feel. I wouldn’t trade the time we spent together for anything.”

All of a sudden I realized what she was doing. This wasn’t a makeup, it was a goodbye. “We could make it work.”

She shook her head. “You know we can’t. The world says we can’t be together. It’s like those two families we learned about in history class. The Hatfield’s and the McCoy’s. Our families will never find common ground.”

“I love you, Addison Mitchell. I want you to know it when I’m not around to remind you.”

“I love you too, Cole Chase. For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t have cared where you came from.” She paused for a second and started to get choked up. “I hope you have a good life. I’ll think of you often, and maybe one day I can stop missing you so much.” Then she lifted her hand and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry. I need to go.”

Just like that she was gone, and this time I knew it was for good.





Chapter 20


Addison


It had been ten days since the blowout that left me wondering what was real or perhaps some scheme to get back at my family. In those days that followed Cole leaving the ranch I went through every emotion known to man. I was broken, hurting, angry, scared, unknowing, lost. Some days I didn’t know if I’d be able to keep it together without wanting to go back to my old ways. I knew a temporary fix would camouflage what I couldn’t keep my mind off of.