Addicted to the Duke (Imperfect Lords #1)(60)

Many would say that friendship was a good basis for a marriage. She would disagree. Marriage lasted a lifetime, and friendships could change—look at her parents’ marriage. They grew apart, having nothing in common. Her mother loved company and people, while her father wanted to stay in his study with his Latin books, or sail away to Greece. Soon her father preferred to stay in the Mediterranean than at home with his wife and young daughter. She bit her lip. People grew apart, just as sometimes the lucky ones grew into love.

“There is always David,” he said softly.

“David?”

Alex cleared his throat. “He has grown quite enamored of you. To protect you and your honor, David might be persuaded to—”

“No. I will not be bartered off…” She jumped to her feet. Her stomach clenched in protest. “It’s obvious you do not wish to marry me, so why bring it up? So you could ease your conscience by marrying me to another?”

“I didn’t say you should marry him. I merely wondered if you would prefer to marry him given your situation and the fact you did not seem keen to advise me of the situation.”

Her anger drained away. “That would not be fair to David.”

Alex’s lips firmed, but he nodded.

“He would have to know about…”

“So you would look favorably on a marriage with David?” Alex asked, his jaw taut.

“No. If I had no other choice I would, because he’s a nice man and I’d be very lucky. But I cannot make him happy.”

Alex smiled and shook his head. “You’d make any man happy.”

“I can’t make him happy and therefore I cannot marry him, because I love another.” Alex’s mouth opened and closed several times. “Don’t be so concerned. I know you do not love me. But we cannot help whom we love. Believe me, I’ve tried,” she added dryly.

“Yet I can’t make you happy either. I’m not sure I know how to love.” He looked so sad. “If the worst happens and we cannot keep you safe from Fredrick or his men, you’ll have to marry one of us.”

She rose, determined to go up on deck and try and clear the pounding in her head. “Do I have to make a decision right now?”

Alex stood too. “No. But when we reach Pentati, yes. I won’t leave you ruined. I need to face Murad knowing you are safe and protected. You will need to decide—”

“Decide what?” a voice from the entrance to the stateroom asked.

She glanced at Alex, waiting for him to respond to David’s question. She watched something pass between the two men before Alex shrugged and said, “Whether she will accept my proposal.”

She frowned at Alex. That hadn’t been their conversation. She was to choose. The tension in the room could be sliced with a dagger.

“If you’ll excuse me, I would like to get some fresh air on deck.” And without looking at either man, Hestia left the cabin.





Chapter 16


Hestia leaned against the rail and let the sun wash her face with heat while the sea breeze and spray cooled her down.

She faced an impossible choice. She could marry Alex and hope one day he might grow to love her. However, he would have to battle Murad to achieve peace, and she might end up a widow.

Then there was Mr. Foxhall. David was handsome, kind, and wanted a family. But her heart belonged to Alex, and it was not fair that a man who had waited to find love should be saddled with her. She might not ever be able to love David as he deserved.

So lost in the conundrum of her situation, she didn’t notice Jacob by her side until he coughed.

“Troubles?” he asked with sympathy in his eyes.

“Alex is going to face Murad. He’s going to get himself killed, isn’t he?”

Jacob’s lips firmed and he looked out to sea for a few moments. He sighed and finally said, “Most likely. This is Murad’s territory, and due to his injury, Alex is not fighting fit.”

“There is no way to dissuade him?” His eyebrows rose and she whispered, “Of course not.”

“I don’t think I would try to stop him even if I could. There is something eating him up inside, and if Alex doesn’t get it out I’m not sure he’ll survive.”

She pondered Jacob’s words. From the little Alex had told her, Jacob was most likely right.

“The one thing I will swear to is that we will stop Fredrick Cary regardless of whether we find your father. I won’t let him hurt you.”

She patted Jacob’s hand where it sat curled tightly around the ship’s railing. “I’m only safe if Fredrick is dead or I’m married. Neither option is one I like. To wish a person dead…” She shuddered.

“Let’s see what happens when we go after the sloop. If we are wrong and Fredrick is not on it, then a marriage, and you quickly returning to England, would be the safest bet. Out here Fredrick could ensure a wedding notice does not make its way to London.”

Cold, clammy fear gripped her. “Are you saying even if I marry, Fredrick could still kill me and deny the marriage took place?”

“It’s a possibility. If Alex dies, Foxhall dies, who would society believe—me or the Earl of Pembrokeshire, as Cary would then be?”

Even on this sunny day the sky darkened in her vision. However, it made Hestia realize marriage would not necessarily save her. Only a marriage in England would.