Actual Stop (Agent O’Connor #1)(66)

Her entire body went rigid, and her thighs quivered. She was moaning more often, and her motions against my swollen sex were becoming almost frantic. She was definitely about to come, and I was thrilled to know she was as close as I was.

It took all my willpower and concentration to remain focused on her pleasure because I was dying to submit completely to her touch. Fighting that instinct was a bitch. But, somehow, I did. And it was absolutely worth it. Feeling her groan of surrender against me as she fell dragged me over the edge with her, and as we clung to one another, riding out the ecstasy of our shared orgasm, I couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.





Chapter Twenty-one


We lay there for a while, our bodies and limbs tangled, catching our respective breaths. We’d shifted positions so Allison’s head rested heavily on my shoulder, and I brushed my lips over her hair as I stroked her back with my fingertips. I was floating in the most incredible post-bliss haze, and I didn’t have the energy to even wonder what came next for us. I was spent.

“Wow,” Allison whispered.

“Yeah.”

“That was…” She shook her head and sighed, snuggling more securely against me and throwing one leg over my hip. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

She traced random patterns on my other hip, and I smiled. Then I didn’t hear anything but our mingled breathing for a long time. I thought she’d fallen asleep and was drifting off contentedly when she murmured so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.

“I’ve really missed this.”

My eyes popped back open, and I tensed. A cannonball suddenly splashed down in my chest, and I didn’t know how to respond. Did she mean she missed being held by someone in general? Or was she telling me she missed me specifically? Her words didn’t indicate her meaning, and since her face was pillowed against my chest, I couldn’t see her expression for any clues. I finally went with the ever-eloquent and appropriate, “Huh?”

“Mmm. So you are awake.” Allison’s voice sounded a little teasing.

“Yeah. I…yeah.” It was lame, and we both knew it, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say. Now that we’d slaked our passion somewhat, and I could think, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to happen next, what was even feasible. After a long silence, during which Allison inhaled several times as though she wanted to say something, she just exhaled softly.

“You did know I was talking about you, right?” she asked finally.

I shrugged, not wanting to shatter the afterglow by mentioning that she’d slaughtered me once upon a time. Nothing kills the mood faster than bringing up old wounds. Except perhaps giving voice to fears that she might one day do it again.

Allison propped herself up, leaning on one elbow over me and looked intently into my eyes. Her brow furrowed, and she pushed the hair back out of her eyes with an impatient motion. “Please tell me you know that.”

I bit my lower lip and thought about how to respond. Apparently, my hesitation was answer enough because her forehead uncreased, and the corners of her lips pulled down slightly.

“I guess I can’t blame you. I mean, not after the way we ended things.”

You mean the way you ended things? I wanted to say. Thankfully, I managed to keep a lid on that little addendum. Instead, I tucked another stray lock of hair behind her ear and trailed my fingers down her neck to play at her collarbone.

“I’m surprised.” I made my voice as gentle as possible. I hadn’t planned to discuss this, but since she’d brought it up, we might as well talk about it. “Considering I haven’t heard a word from you since you left.”

“I didn’t know what to say,” she said.

“You could’ve said anything.”

“I couldn’t have said what you wanted to hear.”

“You didn’t know what I wanted to hear. And sometimes hearing the opposite of what you think you want to hear is enough. At least it gives you a place to start healing.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

I frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Allison scowled, let out a huff, and rolled away from me, yanking the sheet up to cover her exposed breasts. I felt the loss of her warmth immediately.

“Nothing. I’m sorry. Let’s just drop it.” Allison averted her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, drawing into herself.

I wanted to touch her, wanted to make her look at me, but wasn’t certain how she would react. Instead, I sat up against the headboard, drawing the sheet up to cover my own body. “Oh, I don’t think so. Not this time. If you have something to say, let’s hear it.”

She didn’t reply, and a dread crushed me.

She stared at the desk chair in the corner of the room with more interest than was really warranted. I could see the muscles in her throat working as she swallowed. “Do you remember the day we broke up?”

I winced, not expecting the question. “Yeah.”

Silence. Where was she going with this? The crushing weight had turned icy.

Allison took a deep breath and clenched and unclenched her fist in the sheet beside her leg. “Do you remember what you said to me that day?”

I frowned slightly. I’d said a lot of things to her that day and spent the past few years trying to forget them. Most I’d sputtered, heartbroken. Why would she want to remember any of that? I didn’t.