A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1)(79)

“I’m not hungry, sir.”

“I daresay too much champagne,” Blackwood said, putting his letter away at last. He looked from me to Magnus. I could see that he suspected something. Damn him. “Perhaps Miss Howel might benefit from private instruction,” he said.

The blood rushed to my cheeks. “I’m fine working as usual.” I pushed my chair back and left the room without another word.

—



I IMAGINED A CANDLE FLAME THAT grew into a pillar of light. My hands felt warm, but the column of fire did not appear.

“Henrietta, you’re not trying,” Agrippa said.

“My head hurts.” That wasn’t a lie.

“Well, it can’t. Tomorrow you’ll either be commended or dismissed. No second chances. Everything must be perfect,” he said. Blackwood stood by a wall, while Magnus looked everywhere but at me.

“I’ve done well so far, haven’t I?” Massaging my temples did nothing.

“The queen is young and unsure in her reign. Her nonmagical advisors don’t like the idea of a woman sorcerer. If you fail in any way, they’ll persuade the queen not to commend you.”

Sparks shone upon my dress but died. Agrippa puffed out his cheeks in exasperation.

“Why on earth are you so tired this morning? You went to the theater last night; it wasn’t a walk to Northumberland.” He circled around me.

“I don’t feel well.” Memories of kissing Magnus returned, tinged with shame.

“How you feel doesn’t matter,” Agrippa said.

“What do you mean?” I dropped my hands from my head.

“These men want to see if you are a sorcerer. They’ve no time for anything else.”

The chamber filled with a great wind that knocked Agrippa down. He struggled back to his feet, his hand raised as a signal to stop.



“As long as I do exactly what everyone wants,” I said, “I’ll be worth something?”

“That’s not what I meant.” He attempted to get up again, but this time I forced him back. My breath quickened.

“I’m tired of catering to everyone’s demands, and I’m tired of pleasing and pleasing!” My voice rose into a scream, and the wind rose with me. Agrippa cried out. Blackwood ran to help him up and shouted for me to stop.

Magnus gripped me by the arms. “You’re going to hurt the Master.” His gray eyes burned into mine. He was right. I didn’t want to hurt Agrippa. The wind died down, and Magnus sighed in relief, squeezing my arm. “Thank you.”

I set fire to the exact spot where Magnus held me. Screaming, he recoiled and stared in horror at his blistered hands. My thoughts swung broken and wild. I wanted to burn. I dropped Porridge and turned from them, head in my hands. Rage pulsed through me, and as it did, the flames leaped higher.

“Stop it,” Blackwood cried. “You’re losing control.”

The blue flames rippled on my skin and clothes, whirling in a column as they rose to the ceiling. “I can’t stop,” I shouted as the fire grew. I couldn’t silence the pounding in my head, the fury. I pressed my palms to my forehead and shrieked.

Great scarlet waves of flame turned the obsidian walls into reflections of hellish red. I couldn’t calm down. Magnus had made me vulnerable. Of course he could never marry me—couldn’t I see that? I wasn’t worthy of that great honor. Blackwood and Magnus crouched beside Agrippa and warded themselves. But the wards couldn’t hold forever.



For an instant, the chamber was full of fire. They screamed for mercy. They. Agrippa and Blackwood were innocent. Would I just murder them? Would I just murder anyone, even Magnus, even by accident?

No. I forced my thoughts to calm. The fire died. Agrippa huddled in a heap while Magnus and Blackwood pointed their staves at me with real fear in their eyes.

“Stay back, Howel,” Magnus said. He winced, his grip on his stave loosening. Good Lord, I’d ruined his hands. What if he couldn’t be commended now?

What had I done?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, crawling to my feet. “Master Agrippa, I’m so sorry.”

His look undid me. He found the sight of me repulsive. I turned and ran, and didn’t stop until I was out of the house.

—

I KNOCKED SEVEN TIMES AT HARGROVE’S door before I forced my way inside.

“Please, you need to help me,” I gasped as I entered the room. “I’ve done something terrible.”

My voice echoed in the bare space. The place was abandoned. The table and chairs, the curtain, the mattress before the stove, Hargrove’s treasure chest, all had vanished as if into thin air. Hargrove and the children were gone. Set sail for America, most likely.

I knelt in the now-empty room and wept.

—



AGRIPPA’S STABLES WERE FULL OF THE pungent scent of manure and the sweetness of grain. When I was certain no one else was about, I walked over to the stalls. The horses nuzzled me, searching for a treat.

“What am I going to do?” I said. Perhaps I could transform myself into a horse and stay here. But I wasn’t that kind of magician, and, of course, animals had problems of their own.

“Howel?” Damn. Magnus ran toward me. His hands were bandaged. “Where on earth did you go?”