A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1)(84)

“Because my father told me who he was and to pay him.”



“Why would he have done that?”

“Mary Willoughby and Howard Mickelmas brought ruin down on this country, yes, and they tore open the breach that allowed the monsters to cross over. But they needed a third to complete the trinity of power, and that third,” he said, his face twisting in pain, “was my father. And no one,” he snapped, noting my look of horror, “outside myself and those concerned has known about this. Not until tonight. Not until you.” He moved away from me to the fire. “My father, once the Ancients had been unleashed, knew what word of it would do to the Blackwood family. He fixed it so that it would appear Willoughby and Mickelmas were to blame, not he.”

My mind raced but settled on one detail. “You said no one knows but yourself and those concerned. Who else?”

“Mickelmas, obviously. And Master Palehook,” he said. “I can’t imagine how, but he knows what my father did.”

“That’s why he’s so free to be rude to you?”

“Precisely. Father knew how unscrupulous Palehook was. I was instructed to obey him in all things. I did.” He looked at me again, guilt written upon his face. “Until recently.”

“What did you do?”

“He wanted something I’d no right to give.”

Like a burst of light I saw the scene again: Blackwood coming into the magician’s home, with Rook of all people…Blackwood hurrying me along, leaving Rook behind…his burst of insight, when he thought—no, when he knew—Rook would be in trouble. I leaped from my seat. He caught my wrists.



“How could you?” I cried.

“I couldn’t. It’s why we went back. Whatever he had planned, I knew I’d no right to sacrifice Rook to save myself.”

“What does Palehook want with him?”

“I’ve no idea. I swear.” He fell to his knees, his hands clasped together. He looked as if he were praying. “I’m so sorry.”

Trying to breathe out the anger, I sat. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Master Palehook said that if I didn’t give him Rook, he’d reveal my family’s secret. I received a letter this morning. Every sorcerer in the city will know by breakfast tomorrow. I’ve failed.”

“Why tell me now?”

“Because I wanted to give you a chance,” he said, his eyes wild. “I called you low, pretended I was your born superior. Here.” He gripped my wrists and put his face in my hands. “Strike me, burn me, do whatever you want. I deserve your punishment more than anyone else’s.” He looked half mad.

The younger, less complicated me would have gladly attacked him. But I knew how it felt to lie for my own survival. Tentatively, I stroked his hair.

“This must have been a terrible burden to bear alone.”

Blackwood lowered his head onto my knee, almost as if he were melting in relief. I slid down to sit beside him. We looked into the fire together.

“I was wrong about you,” he whispered. “At first I saw you merely as a pain to be endured. But now you’re the only person in this entire house who could understand me.” He wasn’t wrong. We were similar people, keeping vast and terrible secrets from the world. “For the first time in a long time, I’ve wanted someone to think well of me.”



He’d shown me his soul. To be worthy of that, I had to be honest.

“I’m not a sorcerer,” I said. “Mickelmas told me my father was a magician and had my fire abilities. I’m not special. I’m not your prophesied one.”

It should have hurt. It should have been terrible. But all I felt was a sweet, calming relief in telling the truth.

He considered this. “The prophecy called for a girl-child of sorcerer stock. Magicians are descendants of sorcerers. Perhaps that’s what it meant.” A flare of desperation showed; he needed to be certain of my status.

“Mickelmas believes the Speakers wouldn’t make such an error.”

“You can use a stave.”

“I’m a mix of both races, but I was born a magician. You have to know the truth.” My heart pounded as I waited for his reply.

He was silent a moment. Then he said, “We need you. That’s what’s important. The rest is titles.” Gently, he took my hand in his own. It wasn’t a romantic gesture; it was deeper than that.

We sat side by side, our burdens eased, if not lifted.

—



WE WERE SILENT AT BREAKFAST, BUT nothing happened. No letter arrived. Agrippa didn’t leap out of his chair, point at Blackwood, and shout, Off with his head! All Agrippa did was ask for more marmalade. I thought Blackwood would faint by the end of the meal. I didn’t feel much better myself.

I wanted to call on Palehook and find out what was happening, but the day’s preparations made that impossible. Almost as soon as we were done eating, we went through a brief, final round of training, and then began the absorbing task of scrubbing and dressing.

The household was in a bustle of activity all day, with the boys looking for their hats or wondering if their boots were correctly polished or wishing they could grow a proper beard.

Lilly bathed and powdered and primped me until I felt I would run mad. She shoved pins into my hair, scratching my scalp so that my eyes watered. As dusk began to creep into the sky, there was a knock at the bedroom door. Eliza entered with a parcel.