A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1)(57)

Wouldn’t that be heavenly? I imagined some stretch of pebbled beach with waves breaking on it. I could feel the water lapping against my bare feet, my ankles grainy with sand. Perhaps we’d head to Devon, where Aunt Agnes still lived in her little cottage. She’d see how I’d grown up and resolve to forget all the ugliness of the past. I imagined her embracing us and ushering us inside with tea already laid out before a hot fire.

What a silly fantasy. We both knew what life awaited us outside the ward. Starvation and scorn beckoned, accusations of witchcraft and hatred for the Unclean. If we weren’t killed for our abilities, we would more than likely open ourselves to the Ancients’ attack. Now when I envisioned that stretch of beach, I saw Nemneris the Water Spider lunging out of the waves.

“No. The only chance we have is for me to be commended. I need to improve my lessons, and you try to keep from screaming too loudly in the night. Even if that means using the paste.” I was asking him to suppress his power for my sake. What a hypocrite I was. “Lord Blackwood has a good remedy for the pain,” I said lamely.

“We can’t trust them, Nettie.” He was firm. “We shouldn’t have to play a part to gain their acceptance.”

He was right. In a perfect world, we would be able to declare our abilities openly. Then again, in a perfect world there would be no war against seven vicious monsters. “We must work together.”



“So you can be commended?” His voice sounded hollow. The connection we’d shared in the kitchen snapped, and I felt him drifting out of my reach again. “Perhaps it would be best for all if I went to Lord Blackwood’s colony.”

“No!” Lilly cried. She blushed.

“No,” I said, taking his hand. “I’ve done this so the pair of us can have a better chance at life.”

“Yes. The pair of us.” After a moment of silence, he said, “It was selfish of me to ask you to run.”

“Once I’m commended, we can show Agrippa your talents,” I whispered.

“No. Right now they need the light, not more darkness.” He leaned forward, fast, and planted a kiss on the top of my head. “You should rest.” He got off the bed and left. Lilly promised to return with some tea before rushing after him. Alone, I lay down and thought. Whatever Rook believed of my intentions, all I wanted was for us both to be safe. Between his secret and mine, everything now relied on my commendation.

And I knew where I would have to go, and whom I would have to see, in order to succeed.





Two days later, I walked toward Ha’penny Row during my free afternoon. I clutched a bundle of bread and cheese to my chest. I’d have taken wine as well, but the butler counted the bottles and I didn’t want any of the servants to get in trouble.

A thin layer of yellow grime covered the ward. This time, slicing through was slightly harder than cutting a cobweb. Palehook wasn’t doing his job well.

“?’Scuse me, miss,” a young man with a gruff voice said as he stumbled into me.

“It’s all right,” I replied. He shoved past and strode away.

I continued to Hargrove’s, nearly treading on a black crow that pecked for grain in the road. I marveled at its wingspan as it soared upward to land on a rooftop. The bird joined a small cluster of other crows and ravens. By the time I’d turned off the street, I counted ten, all singing above us.

—

“I TOLD YOU TO BRING ME drink,” Hargrove said as I handed the food to the children. I couldn’t give the bundle to him, as he was slitting open a long spool of bloodied intestine that lay on the table. The smell was hideous. One of the children thrust open a window in a bid for fresh air.



“What are you doing?” I wrinkled my nose.

“These are the innards of a white sow. I bought them off a fellow in Shoreditch, a steal at a tuppence. He says he fed her a penny with the queen’s face on both sides. Numismatomancy is divination through money. That coin will reveal wonders to me.”

“Such as why you spent two pennies to purchase one?”

“Hilarious.” He sliced away, brow furrowed as he inspected the bloody entrails. “This is your magical heritage, my little weasel. Show some respect.” Sure I’d be sick, I removed my hood. Hargrove’s eyebrows shot up. “You look terrible. When’s the last time you slept?”

“I don’t look that awful.”

Hargrove gestured to one of the children. “Get the family mirror.”

The child handed me a cracked looking glass before I could object. Even if my reflection hadn’t been fractured, the damage was plain enough. My eyes were dark and sunken, my complexion pallid. I’d lost weight.

The dreams of R’hlem had kept me up again. That was three nights in a row. I feared it was becoming a pattern. “I don’t sleep.”

“Why not?”

My patience at an end, I made a wincing face. “Guess.”

“I know you didn’t want to come back here.” He kicked a chair toward me, an invitation to sit. “You’re a prideful little creature, eh?”



I doubted a smart remark would make him want to help me. “Teach me to be a magician.”

“But I thought you were a sorcerer. Last time you were here you shouted it through the streets.” He wagged a bloody finger at me.