A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1)(55)

“Did you listen to my entire conversation?” My stomach turned at the thought.

“I came down when you were arguing over what path to take, or something of the like. You mentioned pain.” He paused. “Again, I am sorry for eavesdropping.”

He hadn’t seen the shadows, then. In my relief, I answered his question. “He’s having terrible headaches at night. I know it’s because he doesn’t take care of his scars properly.”

“Has he tried laudanum?”

“The headmaster at Brimthorn wouldn’t allow it on the premises. He claimed it destroyed people’s minds.” On that one thing, Colegrind and I had agreed.

“Bad pain is common among the Unclean. The physicians at my father’s colony use a special balm of linseed oil and verbena, which they rub on the patient’s chest. If you’d like, I’ll have Fenswick concoct something similar. That might help with his headaches.”

“Thank you. We’d be grateful,” I muttered, lowering my gaze. I didn’t want him to see how much I liked the idea.

“It’s the least I can do for you both.” He reclined into a wedge of shadow. “I’ve been thinking about your life at Brimthorn since the night we argued at dinner. I’d like to help you now, if I can.”

Wonder of wonders, was Lord Blackwood apologizing? I felt myself softening a bit.

“It’s not as if you were off enjoying yourself. You’ve many responsibilities.” Complimenting Blackwood felt incredibly odd.

“So do you,” Blackwood said. “Since seeing you with Rook, I understand that. You look after each other.” He cleared his throat and shifted several times in his seat, as if humility were a new set of uncomfortable clothes.



“When you aren’t parading as the Earl of Sorrow-Fell, you can be fine company,” I mused. Blackwood made a choking sound that sounded a bit like laughter.

As if making a small confession, he said, “I don’t have a talent for speaking with people my own age.”

“Surely you had friends growing up?” I frowned.

“I’d my tutor and governess.” That told me a great deal. Sometimes when I joined Magnus and the other fellows in conversation, I would notice Blackwood stealing glances at us from across the room, almost longingly. He always returned to his book if he caught me staring. “Mother didn’t believe association with other young gentlemen would improve me. It was…a bit lonely.”

“She probably wanted to protect you,” I said. Blackwood made a disdainful noise.

“In her own way, I suppose. She is not the most affectionate of women.”

I was shocked by his openness. Perhaps his mother was like my aunt Agnes. Perhaps we did have much in common. “I know what loneliness is like, at any rate. Apart from Rook, I only had one real friend at school. But Judith went to live with her uncle in Glasgow when we were ten. Most girls kept their distance because of my friendship with an Unclean.”

“Yes, we’re quite the same.” He choke-laughed again. I felt almost tender toward him. I had to remember how irritating he could be, or this would become a habit.



“For what it’s worth, you aren’t despised. Dee told me he wishes he could be more like you.”

“No, he doesn’t.” He leaned forward. “Does he?”

“He finds you intimidating, but that’s an easy hurdle to overcome.”

“He’d do better to take someone like Magnus as a role model.” That bitter dislike crept into his voice again. “That’s why I came to find you. The others are playing charades upstairs. I know how you enjoy being on his team.”

Ah, there was that irritating tone. “I don’t live to be on Magnus’s team, thank you. He was merely the first person to make me feel welcome, and he never looked down on me for my low birth.” I meant it half-jokingly, so I was surprised when Blackwood flinched.

“Forgive me for that. I should never have said such things,” he said.

This was an interesting conversation. “What’s brought all this on?”

He picked up my book and turned the pages in a clear attempt not to meet my gaze. “I’ve never seen anyone as close with one of the Unclean as you are with Rook, and I like that. I thought you wanted to be our savior to cover yourself in glory, but this is for his sake as much as yours. Isn’t it?”

“Shouldn’t that confirm your bad opinion of me? I care more about my friend than I do about your prophecy.”



“I know what it is to love someone so much that you would move the world only to see them smile.” He went from his chair to the fire, to hang on the mantel and gaze into the flames. I’d never imagined that Blackwood could speak so passionately. “I can’t despise you for that, and I respect your choice of friend. Most people don’t bother with the lowest among us.”

Affection pulsed through me. “If there’s one thing I took from those Sundays in church, it’s that we’re called to love the lowest.”

“And the sinner? Should we love him, too?” His voice was rough and low.

“No one’s ever beyond redemption,” I said, surprised by his tone.

He shivered, bowing his head. Concerned, I went to him and laid my hand on his shoulder.