A Quiet Kind of Thunder(33)
‘Karam is having a Halloween party next Saturday and . . . I really, really want you to come.’
‘OK . . .’ I say slowly, waiting for more. Tem knows how I feel about crowds, noise and alcohol, which is why she’d never usually ask if I’d come to a party with her. She has other friends for crazy-fun-party-time.
She turns slightly on the bench to face me. ‘His mum is going to be away so it’s just his dad, but his dad will be there, so it’s not going to get really crazy, or anything. He says his dad is really, like, chilled out, you know? I know you don’t usually like this kind of thing, I get that, honestly, but this will be different. I’ve thought it all through. See, it’s Halloween, so you can come in costume, and you can get something that covers your face if you want, so no one will even know it’s you.’ Her voice is starting to speed up, words falling over each other. ‘Or we can go as pandas! Pandas, Stef! Remember how we used to dress up as pandas together?’
We have literally not done this since we were eight years old.
‘Karam wants me there, so obviously I’m going to go, but I think it would be really great if you came, too. Then you can meet Karam, and you can tell me what you think. And – this is the best bit, Stef – you can invite Rhys. That way it’ll be like a social occasion that’s not school or anything to hang out together, plus I can meet him – and I really want to meet him – and you know you can always be with me or him, so you won’t ever be on your own, and you won’t have to talk if you don’t want to.’ She stops abruptly, practically breathless. She looks at me, her lip slightly dented from where she is clearly biting it from inside her mouth. Quietly, she adds, ‘I know it’s a big ask, Stef. But it would really mean a lot to me if you came.’
The thing is, that’s all she really needed to say. There are some people you will do anything for if they really need you. And this is Tem.
‘Sure,’ I say. ‘Of course I’ll come.’
stefstef: hello!
rhysespieces: hello there ?
stefstef: how are you? what are you up to?
rhysespieces: ok, you? just playing minecraft.
stefstef: haha
stefstef: wait, really?
rhysespieces: !! ?
stefstef: sorry!!! i honestly thought that was a game for kids rhysespieces: ?????
stefstef: AGH can i start again?
rhysespieces: go for it
[rhysespieces has logged off]
[rhysespieces has logged in]
stefstef: hello!
rhysespieces: hello there ?
stefstef: so I have a question for you rhysespieces: cool. i’m listening.
rhysespieces: hahaha ‘listening’
stefstef: are you doing anything next saturday?
rhysespieces: i hope so
stefstef: oh, ok. Have you already made plans or something?
rhysespieces: what? no, i mean i hope that i’ll be doing something with you rhysespieces: like seeing you, not DOING something rhysespieces: oh fuck
stefstef: ?
rhysespieces: i am so much smoother in my head stefstef: i hope for your sake that’s true rhysespieces: ask me again
stefstef: are you doing anything next saturday?
rhysespieces: no plans yet. why?
stefstef: my best friend is going to a halloween party and she’s invited us both. fancy it?
rhysespieces: stefanie brons, are you inviting me on a date?
stefstef: yes.
rhysespieces: interesting
stefstef: HEY, you know how I have massive anxiety?
rhysespieces: haha sorry sorry. of course. sounds great. costumes?
stefstef: ? yes rhysespieces: MATCHING costumes?
stefstef: steady on, i don’t think we’re there yet rhysespieces: damn, i bet you’d be cute as hell as one half of a horse stefstef: i’m going as a panda
rhysespieces: ok i take it back. THAT sounds cute as hell.
stefstef: ?
rhysespieces: i am definitely in. let me know location and times and stuff?
stefstef: i will. i don’t know them yet, but i’ll tell you when i do.
rhysespieces: cool, and let me know what alcohol to bring stefstef: oh. you don’t need to worry about that for me.
stefstef: i mean, just bring whatever you want rhysespieces: you don’t drink?
stefstef: not party drinking, iykwim?
rhysespieces: ok, gotcha. i won’t either, if you want?
stefstef: aw ? it’s fine.
rhysespieces: sure?
stefstef: yes. i have to go to bed, see you tomorrow?
rhysespieces: yep. sweet dreams xx
stefstef: ? xxx [stefstef has logged off]
On Saturday, I spend the afternoon at Tem’s house so we can get ready together. And by ‘get ready’, I mean she gets dressed and then talks me down from a panic attack. While she sips a premixed vodka and Coke from a can, I hold a glass of iced water to my forehead and try to calm myself.
‘Which heels do you think I should wear?’ Tem holds up two different shoes, both sporting heels higher than I have ever even attempted.
‘Those,’ I say, pointing at the shorter of the two. ‘They’ll be easier to walk in if you get drunk.’
‘I’m taking flats in my bag,’ Tem says, peering into the mirror and putting a speculative hand on her curls. ‘So that’s not an issue.’ She throws a grin over her shoulder at me. ‘Or Karam could be carrying me.’