A Missing Heart(47)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN


SO MANY WORDS have been exchanged over the last hour, and I’ve barely heard any of them. All I can do is watch the two of them together. Ever has Cammy’s mannerisms and a lot of her looks. I’m enamored with how amazing Cammy is with her. Regardless of the brick wall Ever has up in front of her, Cammy’s sweetness is something that even the angriest person can’t always reckon with.

I have been in this pizza shop a million times throughout my life, but none of them have felt like this. I will never look at this joint the same way again.

“I haven’t been here in years,” Cammy says, finally taking a minute to look around. “It hasn’t changed at all.”

Neither have you, Cam. “Cam—Cameron, do you remember that night we came here after junior prom?”

She tucks a loose strand of hair behind her shoulders and peers down to the table as she smiles shyly. “Yeah, I do,” she says, laughing with her breath.

“I have to use the bathroom,” Ever says, standing up and excusing herself from the table.

“Can she go by herself?” I ask Cammy, as if she’s suddenly an expert at raising a teenage girl.

They look at each other briefly, and Ever looks disturbed that I’d even suggested she couldn’t go to the restroom alone. “I think she’ll be okay,” Cammy says.

We watch Ever as she makes her way across the restaurant and into the bathroom. Once she’s inside, Cammy turns back to me and sighs heavily. “I know this is a lot right now,” she says.

“Cammy,” I pause, looking for the best way to say what I want to say.

“It’s Cameron,” she corrects me, quietly.

“I know what your name is,” I correct her. “It has been thirteen years; I’m just upset that I missed out on all of that time with her.”

“Me too,” she agrees.

“So now what?” It’s a broad question that will require a complicated answer. I’m not sure our situation could be any more challenging than it is, but it still needs a resolution.

“You know I’m a planner, AJ. I plan everything. But this, I didn’t plan for, and I feel so out of sorts right now.”

“I hear ya,” I tell her, scratching at my chin as I lean back into my seat and stretch my legs out under the table. I accidentally nudge my boot against her leg and she jumps and gasps from surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry!” I say, but I’m not really sorry. I shouldn’t want to touch her in any way I can right this second. I’m married.

“We have to make this work somehow,” she says. “Maybe we can move here for a while.” Maybe that could be the best thing ever—just a silly little dream come true that I’ve wished for throughout the years.

“Don’t you have a job and stuff?” I laugh.

“I run my own practice and hired Casper to be an associate.” I want to punch the air with my fist and tell her how f*cking proud of her I am, but she’s smiling in a way that tells me she already knew I’d be thrilled to hear this.

“What about Casper, would he be up for the move?” I’m not trying to silently summon the demon away but it would make things easier for sure.

I’ve been blocking out the thought of telling Tori any of this, and I’m going to continue doing that until I get home, hoping that sometime between now and then, I figure out how to dive into my past that I have kept as hidden as hers.

I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, searching through my pictures for a good one of Gavin. “Look,” I say, passing my phone across the table.

“Oh my gosh, he’s beautiful, AJ. He looks just like you! Some pretty dominant genes you got there, buddy,” she says, holding her gaze on my phone.

I watch as she scrolls with her finger, which is definitely the Cammy I remember, assertive and unafraid of offending. I’m guessing this is one of the many great qualities that made her into a successful attorney.

“Who’s this little doll?” She holds the phone up, with Olive’s goofy grin taking up the whole display.

“That’s Olive, Hunter’s daughter.”

“He ended up with Ellie, huh?” she asks. “She looks exactly like Ellie with that blonde hair and all those freckles.” Cammy smiles at the picture for another second and passes the phone back to me. “How is Ellie? I loved her.”

The same sensation I get every time anyone asks about Hunter and Ellie, or just Ellie, runs through my nerves, like I’ve just been wrapped up in a wet, frozen towel. “Ellie passed,” I say simply.

Cammy places her fist up against her mouth as her eyes widen. “What?” Her one word comes out muffled, in disbelief.

“During childbirth.” She wasn’t my wife or my best friend, but she was like a sister. While I don’t talk about my grief when it comes to Ellie, out of respect for the heartache Hunter lives with, it hurts like hell to mention her name or the fact that she’s gone.

Cammy hiccups and gasps for air. “Oh my God, I don’t even know what to say,” she cries.

“It’s been nine years,” I tell her.

“I had no idea,” she says.

“Life comes and goes during the blank spaces,” I say, reaching across the table for her hand. “We’re all okay. Olive is a spitfire and perfect, just like Ellie was. She is basically Ellie, so we all feel like she’s still around sometimes, you know? Besides that, Hunter is remarried to a great woman who also has a daughter, Lana, and the companionship for both Olive and Hunter has been perfect. Life for them is moving forward.”