A Lover's Lament(97)

“Good morning, beautiful.” Dev kisses the top of my nose. “You’re gorgeous, and this sated look on your face is something I could get used to.”

I cuddle as close as I can get and tangle one of my legs with his. “Speaking of getting used to … what are we going to do when you get done? You said you only have about another six weeks or so, right? Are you going to come home, or—”

“Katie,” he says, cutting me off. “You’re my home. I’m coming home to you. Where you are, that’s where I’ll be.”

My heart does a three sixty inside my chest. If I weren’t already head over heels in love with Devin, I would be after those words. “That sounds perfect.”

“You’re perfect,” he says. “This right here, being with you again, and holding you … it’s perfect. I don’t want to leave.”

Damn it. I was really trying to go as long as possible without mentioning Devin leaving, but now that it’s out, I can’t seem to stop the tears from blurring my vision.

“I don’t want you to leave either.”

Devin kisses my cheek, and then he drags my mouth to his. “We don’t have much longer,” he says, his lips brushing mine. “Then I’ll be home, and we can start our lives together.”

“That sounds good,” I say, hating the way my heart is trying to jump from my chest. The mere thought of him being gone makes me want to crawl out of my skin.

Devin’s mouth lands on mine and I immediately open myself up to him. We fall into a drugging kiss, a new dance we’ve perfected the past several days, and the thought of not doing it again tonight or tomorrow makes my stomach churn. The tears that were blurring my vision finally break free.

Devin’s thumb darts out, wiping away what few tears he can catch. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.” I sniff, burying my nose in his chest. “I don’t want you to go. I just got you back.”

Out of nowhere, my mind drifts to the what ifs that I’ve been trying so hard not to think about. Panic crawls up my throat and I pull back, my eyes landing on Devin’s. The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t get them to come out. Do I tell him that it scares me? That the thought of something happening to him makes me want to go f*cking insane?

“No.” Devin’s voice is low and firm, the complete opposite of his eyes, which are swimming with love. “Don’t go there, Katie. Please don’t go there.”

“Don’t go where?” My voice is watery and way too shaky. I swipe away the tears running down my face and I suck in a deep breath.

“It’s written all over your face, baby,” he says, threading a hand through my hair. “And trust me, I get it. The unknown is scary, and there are no guarantees where war is concerned, but if there’s one thing you need to know—one thing that I want you to carry with you—it’s that I will fight like hell to make it back to you.” Devin’s eyes fill with tears. “I’m coming back to you, Katie.”

I offer him a tremulous smile; it isn’t much, but it’s the best I can do. “Promise me,” I whisper. “Promise me you will do whatever you have to do to come back to me.”

Devin’s eyes bounce between mine as though he can’t decide exactly how to respond. I know I’m asking for a lot, but I’m desperate, and right now I need the words.

“Baby.” Sitting up, Devin pulls me onto his lap. The sheet falls around my waist, leaving my body as naked and vulnerable as my heart, but Devin’s eyes don’t stray from mine. He cradles my neck between his warm palms, his thumbs running a soft path along my cheekbones. “I let you down once, and I promise you I won’t let you down again.”

“Tell me you love me,” I beg, wrapping my hands around his neck, mimicking his hold on me. We’re nose to nose, our breath mingling, and this moment is so incredibly perfect, I don’t want it to end.

“I love you.” Eyes locked on mine, Devin kisses me softly. “I want you every single day for the rest of my life.” He kisses my nose, followed by each eyelid. “I want to marry you and have babies with you.” His lips trail to my ear. “I want to make love to you every night and wake up to your beautiful face every morning.” Wiping away more of my tears, Devin smiles at me, and it’s that smile combined with these words that bring me peace. “I want to grow old with you, Katie. I want forever.”

“You mean the world to me, Dev.” I drop my forehead to his and slip my hands to the back of his neck. “I want all of that. What you just said … that’s my dream.”

“It’s not going to be a dream for long, because in six weeks I’m coming home and we’re going to start building that dream … together.”

The urge to start building that dream now is so damn strong, and knowing that he’s leaving just drives home the reality that it’s going to be a damn long time until I get to be wrapped in his arms again. “Make love to me,” I whisper.

Devin growls and slams his mouth to mine at the same time the alarm goes off. We didn’t set it to wake us up; we set it to remind us when Devin needed to get going in time to make his flight. I hate that f*cking alarm. Reaching around me, Devin slaps the alarm, effectively shutting it off.