A Lover's Lament(95)

Devin gets a chagrined look on his face, and his eyes dart to the side before finding mine again. I wrap my arms around his neck and draw circles with my fingers at the bottom of his hairline.

“Anyway, I finally realized you weren’t coming back and I did the only thing I could do … I moved on.” Devin’s hands fist at my hips. I bring my lips to his cheek before peppering kisses down his neck, a reminder that I’m here and we’re together. Because that’s all that matters.

“I started nursing school, met Maggie, and finally started to live my life again. It wasn’t until a couple of years later that Wyatt finally asked me out, and I had no reason to say no.” I shrug. “He was still one of my best friends, and he knew me better than almost anyone else. He’d been completely loyal to me since kindergarten, and I hadn’t dated a single person since you left.”

Devin looks off to the right, and I cup his cheek in my hand and bring his eyes back to mine. “He was safe,” I whisper, trying to get Devin to understand the meaning behind my words. “I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, and at the time, that’s what I needed. I never loved him the way I love you. You believe that, right?” I ask, dipping my head to get a better look into his eyes.

Reaching up, Devin runs a thumb along my bottom lip. I have to fight the urge to nip at it, because the weight of the moment is too strong and it’s swirling with too much emotion to go there right now. His face softens and his eyes bounce around my face as though he’s seeing me again for the first time.

“I believe you.” His eyes close as our mouths crash together, my lips parting against his. This kiss is completely different from every one before it. Our hands are exploring and our tongues are dancing rather than dueling for power. It’s as though we’re saying goodbye to all of the guilt and regret, letting go of the past, once and for all.

“I love you,” I say, laughing when he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, distorting my words.

“I love you too, baby.”

“Now,” I say, taking a deep breath. “Want to tell me about your ex-girlfriends? There has to be a few.”

Devin pulls back with a classic are-you-smokin’-crack look on his face.

“Okay,” I drawl out. “I’ll take that as a no.” I shift to move off of his lap, because, well … it’s not fair for me to bare it all and him not do the same. One large hand settles low on my back, holding me to him, the other wraps around my neck.

“First of all, you’re not going anywhere, Miss Devora,” he says, nuzzling the side of my neck. “Second, there isn’t much to tell.” Pushing at his chest, I separate myself from him just enough so that I can look in his eyes, which are dancing with equal parts amusement and adoration.

My legs go all gooey and I relax against him. “Tell me anyway.”

“Well, we moved to Pennsylvania and I was beyond pissed. At myself, at my mom, at your dad”—he shakes his head as though he’s ashamed—“and my life sorta spun out of control after that. I’m embarrassed to admit that my drinking got worse, I experimented with drugs, and somewhere in there, I made the decision to try to go to a community college. Well, that was a terrible mistake because my head wasn’t in it. I was still mad, even after a couple of years, and then I got into that accident and I decided it was time to clean up my act.”

“So you joined the Army. I know that. But what about girlfriends?” My heart has been pounding, waiting for him to tell me that he fell in love with the nameless woman I saw in the photo, and each second that passes drives me a little more insane. “Tell me about them.”

“There was only one. She was no one. Just a girl I met in college. We got along great and she loved to party … it was a win-win for everyone.”

“Did you love her?”

“No,” he says, kissing me softly on the mouth. “I’ve only ever loved one girl in my life. I’ve only ever said those three little words to one person, and that’s you. It’s always been you, and it’ll always be you, Katie.”

“You promise?” I ask, hating how vulnerable I sound, but damn it, I’m vulnerable. He owns every single part of me, heart and soul, and if he leaves me again, I know that I won’t survive the heartache.

“Katie,” Devin’s voice softens, his hands making their way up my body until they’re wrapped around my cheeks. “I swear to you that I’m not going anywhere. I am yours, whether you want me or not. I’ve given you my heart, and even if you don’t want it, you can’t give it back because it belongs to you. I know what I have—what we have. It’s special. It’s once in a lifetime. It’s a happily-ever-after sort of love. And I may be a dumbass, but I learn from my mistakes and I don’t make the same ones twice. Letting you go was one of those mistakes.”

His words seep into my skin and wrap around my soul. I close my eyes, savoring the moment. “Can we go home?” I ask, hating that by ‘home’ I mean the hotel, because right now I’d rather have him in my bed. “I just want to be with you. I want to make love to you over and over again.”

“We have a lot of years to make up for, that’s for sure,” he says, smiling as he manages to push to his feet with me still cradled in his arms.

“Ten, to be exact.” I giggle when he smacks my ass playfully. “Roughly thirty seven hundred days … give or take a few.” Devin growls, a low rumble causing his chest to vibrate, and the sound causes shivers to run down my spine. “That’s a ton of sex. Are you up for the challenge, Sergeant Clay?”