A Lover's Lament(115)

“Katie …” The soft sound of a woman’s voice floats through the air, and I twirl around in my seat.

Jennifer.

My heart slams inside my chest, and my palms are growing increasingly sweaty by the second. I have no idea how Devin’s nurse found me, and I don’t really care. What I care about is the unreadable look on her face—the one that could potentially rip my heart out or single-handedly put it back together.





“You And Me”—Lifehouse

CLOSING MY EYES, I LET the warm breeze wash over me. The faint scent of flowers starting to bloom and the sound of birds chirping off in the distance tells me that spring is coming, if not technically already here.

A warm hand finds mine, and I take a deep breath before looking up. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

Navas doesn’t say a word. He simply links our fingers, giving me the support he knows I so desperately need right now. He’s been my rock through everything that’s happened since Devin coded in that hospital bed. He’s held me when I’ve needed holding, and he’s talked me down from nearly every ledge I’ve found myself on. And trust me, there have been a lot of ledges.

He tugs my hand, leading me through rows upon rows of white tombstones. They all look alike, and if it weren’t for the map in my hand, I’d certainly get lost.

Arlington National Cemetery is not my favorite place in the world. Sure, it’s breathtakingly beautiful in a somber sort of way, but I hate coming here because it’s a reminder of all of the lives that have been lost.

My body trembles, my legs going weak, and I quickly push those thoughts from my head. The doctor says my blood pressure is already too high, and I have to keep it down or I’ll end up on bed rest. Lord knows the last thing I need right now is to end up on bed rest.

My free hand falls to my swollen belly and I rub it gently. “Are you ready to see Daddy?” I ask, loving the way my little peanut moves around at the sound of my voice. “That’s what I thought.”

“You really think he can hear you?” Navas asks, a curious look on his face.

“What makes you think it’s a he?”

“It’s just a feeling I’ve got.” He shrugs and continues to lead me through rows of fallen soldiers.

“Yes, well, if you think it’s a boy, it must be a girl.”

“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?”

“I do.” Looking up, I smile smugly. “It’s one of the reasons you love me.”

“Who ever said I love you?”

“What?” I scoff, stopping dead in my tracks. I’m enjoying the banter because it’s keeping me distracted from the grave that’s only a couple of feet away. I know it’s his grave, because the flowers I left the last time I was here are still there. “Take that back,” I insist. “Tell me you love me.”

“Fine,” he grumbles, knowing he won’t win. “I love you … even if you are a pain in my ass.”

“Who do you love?” Devin asks, wheeling his chair up to the side of me.

I look over at Navas, curious as to what bullshit answer he’s going to give my fiancé. “Your woman,” he says with a smirk on his face that’s sure to piss off Devin if his words didn’t already.

Devin glances down and a low growl rips from his throat right before he yanks my hand out of Navas’s.

“Dude, get your own f*cking woman. This one is taken,” he says, bringing the back of my hand to his mouth before feathering kisses across my stomach. Peanut moves with the contact and Devin smiles against my dress. “I love you.”

“Okay, enough of this shit,” Navas barks, pushing past us. He walks straight up to Jax’s tombstone, drops his hand to the top and lowers his head. Devin and I stand back, giving him space.

“Did you have a nice visit with Jax?” I whisper.

“I did.” Devin looks over his shoulder at Navas and then back at me. “Thank you for giving me some time to myself with him.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” Bending down, I drop a kiss to Devin’s soft lips. He wraps an arm around my back and drags me onto his lap. I usually resist because I don’t want to hurt him, but he insists that he’s fine.

That day in the hospital is hands down one of the worst days of my life. I thought Devin was gone—and for a minute there, he was. I’ll never forget the way my body went numb, the way my heart felt like it was literally breaking, and then I heard my Daddy’s voice. He was right there with me, telling me to be strong and reminding me to have hope. Immediately after that, I heard Devin’s voice reminding me that he promised he’d never leave me—a promise that he ultimately kept.

“Plus, I think Mr. Tough Guy over there secretly liked walking my pregnant ass all the way to the bathroom.”

“Trust me,” Navas says as he approaches. “Mr. Tough Guy doesn’t.”

“Whatever.” Giving Devin one last kiss, I delicately remove myself from his lap. “Now move on and give me some time alone with Jax.”

Devin reaches out and snags my wrist in his hand. “What?”

“I said I want some time alone with Jax. Something wrong with that?”

“Uh …” He looks at Navas for approval—like I need any—and Navas just shrugs. “Okay. Sure. We’ll be right over there.”