A Fallow Heart (Tommy Creek #2)(54)

He couldn’t do this now, wasn’t sure if he ever could. “I’ll see you at breakfast,” he mumbled, picking up his pace.





Chapter Fifteen


He never should’ve gone to the house.

Jo Ellen realized it the moment she watched him bang his back door shut and disappear inside, because as soon as she was left alone, reality returned…with a vengeance. The sweet song of nature around her became a warning; foolish actions ahead, foolish actions ahead. Someone will get hurt.

The thing was she’d love to start something with Cooper Gerhardt. Badly. He was kind, considerate, and easy to get along with, too handsome to keep her eyes off of. But starting anything with him would probably be the biggest mistake of her life. She had let her morals get out of hand ten years ago, and she’d paid the price. She’d lost a baby, not to mention all her self-confidence, and she hadn’t had a whole lot of confidence to begin with. She wasn’t the tough type to bounce back after getting bruised.

Was it any wonder she avoided men to this day? Since Travis, she hadn’t held a relationship for longer than a month. But she just couldn’t do it. There was too much risk; with Cooper, that risk would be too enormous to handle. If—or more aptly when—he left her, she wouldn’t be able to fault him for being a jerk like Travis had been. It’d all be on her. He was too perfect. And she wasn’t strong enough to take on that kind of blame, of knowing something was so intrinsically wrong with her she couldn’t hold a relationship the way her twin could, couldn’t be loved the way she ached to be.

It was safer to stop this right now, no matter how much Cooper made her wish for more.

Yet even as she steeled herself against further temptation, Jo Ellen’s resolve faltered when she heard him on the ladder below, climbing up. A light glowed from the hole in the hayloft floor before his head appeared, and the golden strands of his gorgeous hair glinting off the lantern beam. He grinned when he saw her.

She twisted her hands at her waist when he tugged a sleeping bag up after him. Not only had he gotten protection but he’d snagged a few creature comforts along the way…for her. Now she felt worse for what she was about to do

He hopped into the loft, bundled the bag under his arm and strolled toward her until the light of the lantern caught her face.

Finally, his smile wavered and his steps slowed. She wanted to cry for putting that defeated expression on his face.

But it was too late now. He already knew. “You changed your mind.” His voice sounded empty, hollow.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I feel like such an awful tease, but I just…I live in Dallas, Cooper.” Yeah, that sounded good. She went that route instead of being honest. “I have my own business, and I’ve finally gotten it off the ground. I’m where I’ve wanted to be since starting my work—”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t have to explain anything to me, Jo Ellen. I understand.”

He brushed past her, and her heart clenched, because she didn’t understand it herself. Why did she have to be so weak and run; why couldn’t she be brave and take a risk?

Probably because in the end, it hurt too much.

Trailing him back to the hayloft doors, she tried again, hoping she sounded more reasonable to her own ears this time. “If we started something here tonight, then—”

“I know,” he cut her off abruptly. “You’re not the type of woman for a one-time deal or even a weeklong fling.”

She cringed because a weeklong fling was exactly what she’d been contemplating.

“I understand completely. I do. It’s probably for the best anyway.” He sent her a forced smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Though now that I’m out here,” he mused, almost to himself, “sleeping under the stars sounds good. I think I’ll camp out anyway.”

He unrolled his sleeping bag in front of the opened loft doors where a huge moon gawked in at them as if waiting for her next move. After Cooper settled down on the blanket and stretched his feet out in front of him, he glanced at her over his shoulder only to wince. “I’m sorry. Where are my manners? I’ll carry the lantern and walk you back to your car so you can see where you’re going?”

When he began to scramble up, she shook her head, and motioned him back down. “No, no. Don’t get up. I’ll be fine.”

He paused and studied her before offering, “You can stick around for a while if you like. Nothing says we can’t keep talking. I can explain old-time tractors and reapers to you. I’m an almost direct descendent of Cyrus McCormick who invented the reaper, you know.”

She smiled but shook her head again. “I can’t. If I stay, I won’t leave.”

Then don’t leave, his eyes clearly conveyed.

Her resistance weakening under the hypnotic trance of his whiskey gaze, Jo Ellen sucked in a big breath and stepped toward him; this might not end up as it had with Travis, she tried to remind herself. Cooper was nothing like Travis. When she took another step, he simply watched her. She kept moving, walking closer, unable to stop. And when she reached his side, she knelt down next to him and settled herself on the blanket.

He turned away abruptly and looked out at the moon. A heavy sigh shuddered from his lungs.

She closed her eyes. This was a mistake. There were too many emotions involved, too much history. Too many broken hearts. Too much fear. She should go. She should stand up and leave; except she didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world.