A Fallow Heart (Tommy Creek #2)(53)

He groaned and breached the sacred elastic band. They didn’t return their mouths to each other but continued to press their faces together, both too intent and anxious to experience the feel of his palm on her bare bottom. With the rough texture of his work-hewed hands edging across a soft cheek, they both sucked in a breath.

“Oh, God. You’re wet.”

She gave a husky laugh. What did he think she’d be?

“I…I didn’t think I could…didn’t think I was capable of—” Explaining himself seemed to take too much time because he broke off to press his mouth back to hers. The moment his tongue thrust between her teeth, his fingers sank deep.

She bowed up, startled by the shocking sensation. It was so…so…divine. It was like nothing she’d ever experienced before, the sweetest invasion.

“Cooper,” she sobbed, her hands balled tightly with fistfuls of his hair as she restrained the urge to release them on his body. “Cooper…please.”

Dang it, she couldn’t stop herself. She let go of his blond locks and reached down, fumbling between their bodies to free the zipper of his jeans.

At her touch, he lurched on top of her and slapped his free hand onto the wooden floor by her head. Trembling above her with all his weight braced against the floor around her, he heaved shallow breaths against her temple before, saying, “I…are you…protection?”

Her hand froze. “I…no. Sorry, I…I don’t…”

“It’s okay.” He slurred out the words thickly, his voice full of desire. “I have…inside…I…I’ll be…be…” Without further ado, he scurried off her. “Right back.”





Cooper nearly shredded the drawer under his bathroom sink as he searched for his box of condoms. It had been so long since he’d last needed them, he wasn’t even sure if he still had the box around or if he’d pitched it when he’d packed up to come live with his parents again. Please, God, he hoped he hadn’t thrown them away—

Oh, thank you, Lord.

He jerked the crumpled box out from under a package of disposable razors and dumped a handful into his unstable palm. Damn, he wished he could stop shaking. But seriously, his ultimate teenage fantasy was about to come true. Ten years late or not, nerves wracked him from head to toe.

After stuffing his pockets, he concentrated on stabilizing his breathing. He lifted his gaze to the mirror above the sink and almost jumped out of his skin to find his own reflection staring back. But seriously, he did not feel as if he inhabited his own body. This did not seem real, couldn’t honestly be happening.

Jo Ellen was outside, waiting for him to—

Holy shit, she was out there, waiting! He kicked his ass into gear.

Heading out of the bathroom, he paused in the hall when he glanced at the linen closet. Wondering if the army green sleeping bag he had used when he would camp out was still on the top shelf, he opened the door and almost wept with relief and nostalgia when he saw it.

How many nights had he wrapped up in this old thing and stared at the stars, wishing he could be lying there with Jo Ellen Rawlings?

“What am I doing?” he muttered under his breath. “This is insane.” If he slept with her, he was only going to fall for her all over again, like he always did, and she was going to break his heart whenever she left.

Like she always did.

But if he didn’t go to her right now, he’d spend the rest of his life—just as he’d spent the last ten years—wondering what if.

He reached up and snagged the sleeping bag.

“Camping out in the hayloft again?”

Cooper nearly pissed himself when his mother’s voice startled him from behind. He whirled around, expecting a lecture about pre-marital sex. But then, Loren had no idea he had a woman waiting for him in the loft or how condoms lined both his pockets.

Her smile was soft even if it was filled with bitter sadness. It reminded him why he was on the outs with her in the first place, and made him wonder if he should return to the barn at all. His mother had never loved his father, and Jo Ellen didn’t love him. If he did this tonight, he’d end up like just his father, living the rest of his life in unrequited agony.

Once upon a time, he would’ve been proud to follow Thaddeus Gerhardt’s footsteps. But these days, the idea of becoming the wrinkled old mindless man he visited every week at the nursing home scared the bejesus out of him.

“It’s just like old times.” The aging skin around Loren’s eyes crinkled as she smiled. “Every full moon in the summer, out you’d troop with your sleeping bag and lantern.”

Conflicted as he always felt when he looked at her lately, wanting to return to normal around her but unable to do so, he lifted his eyebrows. “Where is that old lantern?”

A mischievous spark lit her eyes, showing him a glimpse of the woman she used to be before his father had taken ill. “It’s sitting on the kitchen table, waiting for you…fresh full of oil.”

His stomach cramped with misery. He knew her eager over-helpfulness wasn’t just some ploy to gain his good favor. Loren Gerhardt had always been this unselfishly sweet. But it made him feel awful because he knew he should thank her, yet he still couldn’t utter the words. With a terse nod, he brushed past.

“Cooper,” she started, turning with him to follow him down the hall.