A Duke by Default (Reluctant Royals #2)(97)

“Stop trying to make me feel better,” she said.

“Okay, I’ll make you feel worse. You’re a horrible person who deserves to be trapped forever walking a road covered in discarded Legos, without shoes. Nothing but sharp Lego corners ripping at your soles for eternity.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Did you catch the pun there? Soles and soul.”

“Tavish.” She sighed and her eyes finally met his, full of caution. “You really are a wanker.”

He dropped a kiss on her forehead.

“I can think of loads of reasons for why I would need you, and no not just for sex, before you go there. For example—you’re bloody magnificent. You’re smart as fuck, and you can do literally anything you put your mind to.”

She hiccupped a sob and wrapped her arms around him.

“I could try to convince you all night, but this is actually your decision. Do you want to explore this thing between us in a non ‘itch scratching’ manner? If so, do you reckon it would be to your benefit or detriment? Give it a think. Because if anyone should be worrying about not being good enough, it’s me. I’m a bloody Bodotria geezer who makes swords and has a shite attitude. Christ, what are you even doing standing this close to me? Are you mad?”

Her next sob turned into choked laughter, and she looked up at him with a sliver of pleasure in her eyes. “Bodotria Geezer is your new supervillain name.”

Hope warmed Tav from the inside out.

“Just think about it. If you don’t want to stay then maybe we can figure something else out. I don’t know you as well as I could. I don’t have any right to make demands. But, Christ, I don’t want to lose you.”

That was the gist of it. He could no longer imagine life without her and he didn’t want to. Maybe they’d give it a try and it’d all go to shit. Maybe she wouldn’t want to even give them a chance to get to that point. But he’d had to think hard about what he wanted in this new life, and a chance with Portia was high on that list.

“Let’s go back inside,” she said quietly. “The meal is going to start soon.”

She hadn’t answered his question. She hadn’t said how she felt about him. Tav had gotten two huge life changes he hadn’t asked for. He could only hope that this one thing that made sense in his world could be his, too.





Chapter 27


Portia’s head was pounding. No, not only pounding, it was also vibrating. She pried her eyes open and squinted through the morning sunlight streaming into the room.

Morning.

She and Tavish had spoken the night before. He’d asked her to stay with him. She hadn’t answered, but her heart had been filled with possibility when they’d returned to the ball. She remembered schmoozing and sitting down for dinner. Haggis had actually been better than she’d expected—she’d shared that on social media along with some clips of the Highland dancing. The last thing she remembered was getting tossed this way and that during some traditional Scottish reels. Tavish holding her hand so tightly each time they were partnered. Johan bringing her another glass of punch . . .

What is happening?

The vibration echoed in her skull again, and again, and she reached under the pillow and grabbed her phone. She saw that the screen was covered by notification messages just before the battery died and the screen went black. She always carried at least one travel charger that was ready to go and plugged her phone in before bed as religiously as some people said their prayers. She couldn’t remember the last time it had died.

When you were drinking. That’s when.

She crawled out of bed to find she was still in her frilly, if now flattened, dress. Someone had done her the courtesy of unzipping the bodice so she could breathe while sleeping. Her mouth tasted gross, and from more than a single night of forgetting to brush.

Panic began to set in as she ran her tongue over her teeth. Waking up bleary had once been common for her, but there was no reason she should feel like she’d been hit by a truck heading to Margaritaville with a rush delivery. Not now. She was New Portia and . . .

She pulled her bedroom door open and jogged to the kitchen, where she heard voices echoing down the hall.

“Look, she said flat out she had a drinking problem, bruv. I guess now you can see why she stayed off the sauce,” Jamie said, then sighed. “I hope she’s okay. She couldn’t even walk.”

They can’t mean—I didn’t—

“Oh, how awful. These pictures are obviously taken from strange angles,” Cheryl said. “To make it look like . . .”

“The one of us isn’t,” Tavish said. His voice was subdued, but she felt the anger in it. Was he mad at her? How had this happened? “Fuck’s sake, this is a disaster. And I don’t even care if she snogged every bastard there, but . . . this is a right disaster.”

Portia stepped into the kitchen, the rustle of her disheveled dress drawing everyone’s gaze to her.

She’d expected them to be talking over breakfast, but Cheryl was already busy prepping for lunch at Doctor Hu’s. Jamie was in his sweaty workout clothes, meaning the morning class was over. Tav was dressed in his usual worn-in jeans and T-shirt, but they all wore similar apprehensive looks on their faces.

“What happened?” she asked. “What—I don’t remember anything.”