Keys to the Demon Prison (Fablehaven #5)(30)

"The Society?" Doren said. "Oh, no!"


Newel let loose a roaring laugh, slapping his furry thigh and elbowing Doren. "Don't be daft, Doren, it's April Fool's Day. Good one, Kendra!"


Kendra paused. The satyr was right, today was the first of April. Without Seth around to fill the sugar bowl with salt or stick bouillon cubes in the showerheads, she had completely forgotten. "No, I'm really not--" Kendra began, but Newel raised a hand to silence her.


"Before you go on," Newel chuckled, "I have very important news. Doren and I were strolling past the hill where the Forgotten Chapel used to be, and it has split wide open. Muriel emerged astride Bahumat, and we tailed them as they proceeded to wake up Olloch the Glutton. They're all heading this way! Quick, fetch Stan!" Newel grimaced with mirth, shoulders quivering with suppressed laughter.


Doren rapped Newel with the back of his hand. "I think she means it. Look at her face."


Newel put one hand on his hip and held out the other toward Kendra. "It's called acting, dunderhead. She's staying in character to try to sell the joke. Which is bad form, by the way, Kendra. Once you've been exposed, you're better off starting fresh with a different ploy later. Don't try another on me, of course. Hard to kid a kidder."


"But she was pacing the yard looking all sour before we hailed her," Doren reminded his friend.


"Acting!" Newel shouted. "She must have seen us coming. She was laying groundwork for the joke. She'd do well on a soap opera. She's plenty pretty. Kendra, give me a glare like I threatened your boyfriend. Why are you rolling your eyes? Give it a shot! Pretend I'm a casting director."


"How did it happen?" Doren asked, ignoring Newel.


"A lectoblix shot him with an arrow," Kendra said, her patience thinning. "Seth took a gaseous potion and ended up trapped in a bottle by an evil wizard. We don't know where they took him."


Newel winked. "A good lie is all about the details. Quirky details can help sell a tall tale, but there's a line where quirky crosses over to ridiculous."


"Newel would know," Doren said. "He lives on the ridiculous side."


Newel turned to face the other satyr, raising his fists like a boxer, hips swaying. "And you, my friend, have just crossed over to the dangerous side."


Doren didn't take the bait. "This isn't an April Fool's prank. She lost her parents to the Society, and now her brother, the very best human we know."


"I wish it were a prank," Kendra said.


Newel dropped out of his fighting stance, uncertainty flickering across his features. Then his knowing look returned. He pointed at both Kendra and Doren. "I get it, you're both in on it, going for the hard sell. As soon as I soften up and buy it, you have a good laugh. Not bad-- somewhat lacking in subtlety, but not bad."


"Here comes Warren," Doren said, gesturing toward the house. "He can settle the issue."


"Can he, now?" Newel said knowingly. "And I suppose he isn't in on the sham as well? You're a devious lot, I'll grant you that much. Next you'll march in a notary with signed documents."


Kendra could hardly believe she was having this conversation. She waved at Warren. He looked much better shaved and with his hair cut short. "Any news?"


"Nothing new on Seth yet," he answered. "But your grandparents want to see us. These two hitting you up for batteries?"


"They're reminding me that it's April Fool's Day," Kendra said.


"Good day, Warren," Newel called. "You're just in time. The shadow plague has started up again! The centaurs are on a rampage!"


"What do Grandma and Grandpa want?" Kendra asked.


"They weren't specific," Warren said. "Something in the attic."


"Sorry, guys," Kendra said to the satyrs. "I have to go."


"Let us know if there's anything we can do," Doren said. Kendra gave a nod. "I will."


"Are you guys filming this?" Newel chortled, eying the surrounding foliage suspiciously. "If so, you're wasting resources. I am not going to fall for it."


"See you later," Kendra called, joining Warren.


"Hey, Kendra," Newel said. "Before you go, could you lend me a handkerchief? Or some other personal token? I want to get a rise out of Verl, pretend you've fallen for him."


"Oh, that could be good," Doren snickered.


"Don't you dare," Kendra warned over her shoulder. "That isn't funny, it's cruel."


"No crueler than pretending my best friend was kidnapped!" Newel countered.


"What am I?" Doren asked in a mildly offended undertone.


"You're more like family," Newel said. "I meant my best human friend. Yours too."


"He really was kidnapped," Doren asserted. "She's not joking."


"Twenty percent of me believes you," Newel replied. "I'll ask again tomorrow."