You Are Not Alone(52)
“Definitely,” I say before hanging up. “Have fun at yoga!”
I look at Sean, incredulous.
“That went well,” he says. “Guess you have one more call to make.”
By the time we finish our beer and head out, I’ve got an appointment to see the apartment tomorrow at nine A.M.
Bring a check for the security deposit, the landlord told me. If you’re really serious, I’d like to finalize this on the spot.
“Seems like everything’s going your way,” Sean tells me as he gives me a hug goodbye.
I turn and walk in the other direction, imagining my bed in that alcove and the kitchen all set up with my teakettle and wok on the gas stove burners and my fruit bowl on the counter.
I can also see myself opening the door and welcoming in Cassandra and Jane.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
CASSANDRA & JANE
Seven months ago
“COME IN, COME IN!” AMANDA HAD SAID, pulling open the door.
“I just gained ten pounds from the smell in here alone!” Jane had laughed as the Moore sisters hugged Amanda and shrugged off their coats.
Amanda had baked up a storm for her gathering: lemon bars, caramel brownie bites, chocolate-chip cookies, and a strawberry-rhubarb pie with homemade crust. Her apartment smelled heavenly.
“I can feel the butter sticking to my hips already,” Beth had groaned as she’d inhaled deeply and grabbed a cookie.
All six of the women in the group were present: Cassandra, Jane, Valerie, Beth, Daphne, and Stacey.
For the first half hour or so, they drank wine, devoured the sweets, and wove questions into the conversation, asking Amanda about her childhood, her relationships, and how she filled her spare time.
Then it began.
“So, guess what I learned the other day?” Beth had looked around at the others, her expression revealing it wasn’t happy news. “My ex has a poetry reading next week at Slam.”
“Are you kidding me?” Cassandra said, even though this wasn’t the first the sisters had heard about it.
“A mutual friend of ours posted about it on Facebook,” Beth said. “I unfriended her immediately, but it’s too late. I can’t get the details out of my head.”
“What’s this about?” Amanda asked.
Beth told the whole story about her ex to Amanda, starting with her breast cancer diagnosis and ending with her ex-husband’s abandonment.
Amanda touched Beth’s hand, but Amanda’s expression was angry—that mix of steel and softness Valerie had noticed in the ER.
“I’ve seen a lot of people mess up when loved ones suffer,” Amanda said. “But that is one of the worst stories I’ve heard.”
“Beth moved here for this guy, she supported him all those years while he sat on his ass and wrote his little rhymes, and he left her all alone,” Cassandra said, watching Amanda carefully. “She had to take an Uber to and from her chemo treatments. She was down to ninety-eight pounds.”
“So you didn’t have anyone with you?” Amanda asked incredulously.
“A few friends offered, but I could barely drag myself out of bed some days.” Beth shrugged, but her face twisted at the memory. “I was sick and hurting and depressed and I just didn’t want anyone to see me like that. I couldn’t summon the energy to put on an act. But Valerie lived in my building back then, and one day when I was struggling to get in some groceries, she helped me. Then she knocked on my door the next day to check on me.”
Valerie interjected, “She knew I wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
Beth pushed away her plate, even though she hadn’t taken a bite of the pie she’d just served herself. “I was so angry for so long. I thought I’d gotten past all that, but the idea that he might be succeeding … And get this: I still have to pay him alimony.”
“That is unbelievable.” Amanda spit out the words.
Beth shook her head. “What I wouldn’t give to see him fall flat on his face.” Her voice was shaking. “Apparently one of his poems is titled ‘Cancer.’”
Jane reached over and rubbed Beth’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.”
“We should show up and heckle him,” Valerie said.
Cassandra took a sip of wine. Her tone was contemplative. “It would be a shame if he was told the time of the reading had changed and he arrived too late to do it.”
The test had begun.
Jane smiled. “Or if he got so nauseous he couldn’t stay onstage.”
Beth threw back her head and laughed. “Oh, sweet justice! That would be perfect. But how could we make that happen?”
Everyone fell quiet. It was important to see if Amanda took this further.
Amanda took a bite of her gooey caramel brownie. She didn’t seem uncomfortable with the sudden silence. She appeared to be thinking.
“Syrup of ipecac,” she said. “People used to give it to their children to induce vomiting if the kid swallowed something poisonous. They don’t recommend that anymore, but it’s still around. Some people with anorexia use it, unfortunately.”
Cassandra had felt a tingling course through her veins. On the walk home later that night, when she discussed the moment with Jane and Valerie, she learned they had, too.