The Kiss: An Anthology About Love and Other Close Encounters(5)

The room was silent.

Sir Giles stood back up. He watched the girl’s face carefully.

She didn’t move. Her eyes stayed closed.

Lily turned her head away.

Ella gave a deep sigh. “Well…this is awkward.”

Sir Giles touched his lips self-consciously. “I—hmm. Perhaps it needs…I mean maybe I have to—”

“My turn!” Dirk dove in and planted his mouth on top of the girl’s.

“Pearls of Talrilla, Dirk,” Ella squealed. “Get off the poor woman!” She slapped him hard on the back of the head.

“Ow!” Dirk pulled away, rubbing the back of his head. “What the blink is wrong with you? I should get a chance too.”

“Oh, sure,” Lily shot over her shoulder. “Let’s sell tickets, shall we?”

“Now that’s enough, Dirk,” said Sir Giles as he pointed a finger at the rogue. “You can’t—” He stopped mid-sentence, staring down at the unconscious woman. “Wasn’t—wasn’t she wearing some kind of crown just a moment ago?”

Ella glanced down. “I believe the proper word is tiara. And yes.”

Sir Giles looked around. “Well…where did it go?”

Everyone looked over at Dirk.

“Oh, sure,” Dirk said angrily. “Go ahead and blame me. I’m a thief, so I must have taken the woman’s jewelry, right?”

“Dirk,” said Sir Giles sternly, “the tiara is sticking out of your vest pocket.”

Dirk glanced down at the glinting gold. “Dragon’s fire,” he mumbled.

“Put it back, Dirk,” said Sir Giles loudly.

“Oh, come on.” Dirk stared down at the woman. “It’s not like she needs it or anything. And we’re not exactly getting paid for this little expedition of yours.”

“You know,” said Ella thoughtfully as she raised the woman’s arm in the air, “this is a nice bracelet. I think those are real sapphires.”

“We are not robbing a defenseless woman!” Sir Giles cried.

“It’s not robbing,” said Dirk brusquely. “It’s…property reallocation.”

Lily spun around again. “Rob her or kiss her, what’s the difference? Should we go get Torval and see if he wants to kiss the girl too?”

Sir Giles turned a deeper shade of red. “Now see here—”

“This whole thing seem a bit suspicious if you ask me, anyways,” said Dirk with a furtive glance around the room. “I mean, how did this girl get here?”

Sir Giles gave an exasperated sigh. “I…don’t know. I imagine some witch or sorcerer cast a spell on her and—”

“But why?” Dirk looked around the room with a frown. “Seems to be a lot of trouble to go to. Why not just kill her and be done with it?”

Ella held out her hand. The sapphire bracelet dangled around her wrist. “What do you think, Lily? Does it go with my armor?”

“Ella!” said Sir Giles, shocked. “What would the goddess you serve have to say about that?”

Ella searched the ceiling for a moment. “I don’t honestly know. I think I skipped that day at the temple.”

“That a girl,” said Dirk. “Come on, let’s get her rings.”

“That’s it,” said Sir Giles furiously. He pointed at the stairs leading down. “Everyone out. Now.”

“Oh, this isn’t about that silly old Torval, is it?” said Ella as she adjusted the bracelet on her wrist. “I’m sure he’s dead by now.”

“I won’t have us profaning this place and this poor woman any longer,” said Sir Giles hotly. “Now everyone out.”

“You didn’t seem so concerned about not profaning her earlier,” Lily said as she stormed out of the room.

Ella started forward, then stopped. She leaned down and gave the unconscious girl a quick kiss.

Sir Giles stared at the Elf.

Ella waited an expectant second, then shrugged. “Oh, well. Couldn’t hurt.” She followed Lilly out of the room.

“That is so hot,” said Dirk under his breath.

“That’s quite enough,” said Sir Giles. “Now put that tiara back.”

“What?” Dirk pointed towards the stairs. “Ella got to keep the bracelet!”

“She has been corrupted by your malign influence, no doubt,” said Sir Giles. He hefted his sword. “I mean it, Dirk.”

“This is so unfair,” Dirk grumbled. He pulled out the glittering tiara and set it on the side of the raised dais. “There? Happy?”

A roar sounded from down below, followed by a hideous screeching noise.

“By the Seven Lords,” Sir Giles breathed. He dropped the torch, then reached for the kite shield on his back as he raced out of the room. “I’m coming!”

“So am I!” called out Dirk. He craned his neck to look down the stairs, then snatched the tiara again. “Sorry, babe. Easy come, easy go.” He started forward, then paused. He turned back towards the girl and gave her another kiss. “One for the road,” he said with a smile.

Dirk raced out of the room.

The sounds of shouts, an explosion, and the clanging of metal came from below, echoing up the stairwell. There was another scream, a roar, and someone begging for mercy. Finally there was a thud, and the sound of ragged cheering.