The Kiss: An Anthology About Love and Other Close Encounters(4)

Lily crossed her arms. “Are we talking like a forehead kiss? Or the cheek?”

Sir Giles began to grow red in the face. “Well, I was thinking her lips, I suppose.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? The woman’s insensate. What if she doesn’t want to be kissed by you?”

“Not want to be kissed?” Sir Giles gestured towards the unmoving girl. “Are you suggesting this woman would rather be trapped in a death-like sleep for the rest of her life than be kissed by me?”

Ella had opened her hand mirror again and was adjusting her long hair. “I know I would.”

“It just doesn’t seem right,” Lily protested. “Anyone could come barging into this tower and…and…do all manner of unseemly things to this poor woman—”

Sir Giles straightened. “It’s a kiss, Lily. For the purpose of saving the poor woman’s life.”

Lily tapped her foot rapidly against the ground. “Oh, so you’re saying it’s a pity kiss? You don’t find her at all attractive? You have no desire to kiss her whatsoever?”

“Well, I—” Sir Giles fumbled for a moment, his mouth working without words. “I didn’t actually say that. I just—”

“I suppose,” continued Lily hotly, “that you’re just planning on kissing every beautiful girl in a sleep as deep as death that we come across? Is that your plan?”

“I—” Sir Giles turned bright red. He turned. “Ella, help me out here.”

Ella continued adjusting her curls. “Don’t drag me into this. I’m not kissing the tart.”

“No surprise,” came a gravelly voice that seemed to come from everywhere at once. “You could never be anyone’s true love, Ella.”

Lily closed her eyes with a sigh. “Dirk, what in the Seven Kingdoms are you still doing up here? You’re supposed to go help Torval, remember?”

“I go where I please,” came the voice again. “A shadow, just out of sight. A wraith that—”

“Oh please, Dirk,” said Ella without looking up from her mirror. “You’re right over there behind the dresser.”

There was a long beat of silence.

A mocking laugh floated through the room. “Am I? Am I indee—”

“Now you’re behind the couch,” said Ella.

There was another beat of silence.

Sir Giles sighed. “Come on, Dirk. Stop hiding.”

Dirk practically exploded out from behind the couch. A bloodstained piece of cloth was jammed up his right nostril. “That was a guess, admit it. You had no idea I was back there.”

Ella snapped the mirror shut. “Pearls, Dirk, I can tell where you are by your breath alone.”


“I hate to interrupt,” Sir Giles said, “but we have to save this poor girl.” He glanced back at the stairwell. “And soon, too. I am starting to think I made the wrong call about leaving Torval behind—”

“Fine,” said Lily as she turned her back. “Kiss the girl. See if I care. I hope the two of you fall in love and are desperately happy and that she bears you a whole breed of little brats that look exactly like you!”

Sir Giles looked over in confusion at Ella and mouthed a silent question.

Ella threw back her head with an exasperated sigh. “Am I really the only one here who isn’t hopelessly stupid?”

Dirk leaned over the girl. “She’s a real looker, for sure. Can I have a go at her?”

“What?” Sir Giles stiffened. “No…absolutely not. It…well, it wouldn’t be proper at all.”

“Why not?” Dirk looked over at Sir Giles slyly. “Who says you’re this girl’s true love? Maybe I am.”

Ella laughed. “You wish.”

“I have just as much chance as Sir Stuffy-Pants here,” said Dirk. He gave a cocky grin. “Besides, you know the girls all love the bad boys.”

Sir Giles raised a hand. “No, Dirk. I forbid you to touch that fair maiden.”

Lily spun around. Her eyes gleamed with tears. “Oh, why can’t we? Why don’t we all just take turns kissing her?” She turned back around again, arms folded.

Dirk raised his eyebrows. “Okay, I vote that Ella and Lily go first.”

Ella shook her head. “You are so sad, you know that?”

A scream echoed up from the stairwell, followed by a large roar.

Sir Giles lifted his head. “Oh, right,” he said uncomfortably. “Torval.”

Ella waved a dismissive hand. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“Well, tell you what,” said Lily as she grabbed her staff. “How about you all take turns making out with this poor defenseless girl here and I’ll go help Torval.” She started for the stairs. “It’s better than being in here with you cretins.”

Sir Giles waved both arms. “That’s enough, everyone!”

Lily paused. Dirk and Ella both looked at the knight.

“Now,” said Sir Giles with a cough, “I’m going to kiss the girl.”

“Did you want us to break out into spontaneous song and dance for you?” Ella asked sweetly.

Sir Giles ignored her. He crossed over to the unconscious girl, hesitated for a moment, then bent over and kissed her on the lips.